Military Rivalry Humor

**CameronCat** · 25th February 13, 06:24 PM

Knowing that there are members here from all military branches (with their proper tartans, of course) and that inter-service rivalry is almost a national sport, I thought I'd post this item that I found on an aviation news website. They run a weekly section called "Short Final" that recounts funny or unusual radio conversations heard while aloft. With full credit to AvWeb.com and the named author...

"Overflying KLAL en route to KBOW, we overheard a conversation between KLAL tower and a flight of two military pilots flying training approaches. As they declared "going missed," the tower issued missed approach clearances and then asked, "So you are Navy?"

One pilot responded (with obvious pride), "He is Navy, but I am United States Marine Corps."

My co-pilot, who is a retired Navy Commander, couldn't resist entering the conversation and keyed the mike, stating, "If you check that Globe and Anchor, you'll find it says Department of the Navy."

Without a second of hesitation, the military pilot came back with, "Yeah — but it's the men's department."

Nothing else needed to be said, and the tower controller was very quiet for several seconds — laughing, I assume.

Submitted by Gerry McCarley"

**Bill aka Mole** · 25th February 13, 06:47 PM

To the best of my recollection... From the US Navy's own Naval Rights and Responsibilities Workshop

"The reason that the four branches don't work well with one another is the fact that they each speak their own version of English. For example, the phrase, "Secure the building," will create four different scenarios:

♦ The Marines will determine the exact location of the building, request Naval Gunfire Support to pound the building in advance, and then assault the building from the front and the adjacent sides, leaving the rear clear of fire to allow the occupants an avenue of escape.

♦ The Army will establish interlocking fields of fire for machine guns nests, set up fire lanes in a 360 degree field around the building, place anti-personnel mines around the building. If available, they will have artillery support already dialed in to repel attackers and prepare to defend the building while still leaving an avenue for a rapid advance to the rear.

♦ The Navy will send a Third-Class Petty Officer (E-4) to ensure that the lights are turned off and all windows and doors are locked at the end of the work day.

♦ The Air Force will send a procurement officer out with instructions to gain a three year lease with option to buy."

PS: CameronCat: There is a rubuttal to the "Men's Department" line. The Marines have their few, good men: U.S. Navy Hospital Corpsmen! Not surprised that the good Commander didn't know this one, though. It is taught to the enlisted ranks only.

**Deirachel** · 25th February 13, 09:47 PM

Originally Posted by Bill aka Mole

U.S. Navy Hospital Corpsmen

"A long-haired, bearded, Marine-hatin' Sailor with certain medical skills, who will go through the very gates of Hell to tend to his wounded Marines."

**jgcunningham** · 26th February 13, 10:15 PM

Each branch of the military will call the same piece of equipment by a different name just to confuse things. For example, the Air Force calls a helicopter a helicopter. But the Army calls it a chopper. The Navy calls it a helo.

Now, what does a Marine say when he sees a helicopter?

Nothing. He just points and goes "Ugg! Ugg-ugg!"

**Geoff Withnell** · 27th February 13, 07:44 AM

Originally Posted by Deirachel

"A long-haired, bearded, Marine-hatin' Sailor with certain medical skills, who will go through the very gates of Hell to tend to his wounded Marines."

Men
Always
Riding
In
Naval
Equipment

Uncle
Sam's
Misguided
Children

Be careful when speaking of Corpsmen. A mother bear defending her cubs is the very picture of meekness and mildness compared to a Marine who thinks Corpsmen are being dissed.

**Geoff Withnell** · 27th February 13, 07:50 AM

And of course there is the on-going fun between officers and enlisted. I was enlisted myself. They wanted to send me to OCS, until they found out I wasn't qualified - my parents were married!

And there are three sources for officers:
OCS
The Service Academies
ROTC

What is the difference? When ordered to assault a hill:

The OCS officer: "Men, follow me up the hill!"

The Academy Graduate: "Sargeant, take the men up the hill!"

The ROTC graduate: (Looks back and forth) "What hill?"

Posted in a spirit of fun.

**creagdhubh** · 27th February 13, 08:48 AM

Hahahaha! Love these, thanks for sharing.

Semper Fidelis!

Sgt. Kyle A. S. Macpherson, USMC 1999-2008

**creagdhubh** · 27th February 13, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by Geoff Withnell

Be careful when speaking of Corpsmen. A mother bear defending her cubs is the very picture of meekness and mildness compared to a Marine who thinks Corpsmen are being dissed.

***

**llyd** · 27th February 13, 03:29 PM

ROTC...Royal Order of Tricycle Cops

The Naval Officer's Corps..Making simple sh-- hard for 217 years.

The most dangerous thing in the US Navy. an old Chief chuckling, "Watch this."

US Army..Uncle Sam Ain't Released Me Yet

Marines..My *** Rides in Navy Equipment

**flyrod6057** · 27th February 13, 06:00 PM

Marine:
Muscles Are Required; Intelligence Not Expected.

USMC:
U Suckers Missed Christmas
or
Uncle Sam's Motorcycle Club
or
You Signed the Motherlovin' Contract**

Navy:
Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Army:
Ain't Ready for the Marines Yet

Posted with a wink and a nod, and utmost respect for all who have served.
**cleaned it up a bit

Semper Fidelis
Brad Flanagan
Gunnery Sergeant
USMC (Ret.)