Forced into matchy-matchy

[imbrius]

I'm attending the wedding of my wife's best friend on October 25. I've been asked to wear the kilt. It is an outdoor daytime wedding (2:45 PM).

I was going to use the brown day sporran and sturdy brown Derbys (my black brogues aren't built for rough outdoor wear) with the green tweed waistcoat and jacket.

HOWEVER my lady, who is in the wedding party, has other plans. Since we'll have "official" photos taken, she wants me in the wedding colour scheme.

The green tweeds are fine (thank the Maker), but the brown leathers need to be swapped out to black to match her leather purse. The hose and tie need to be burgundy with green flashes. I don't object to those colours but forcing a match feels weird to me.

I honestly think that my plain brown day sporran would look better outdoors than my black fur-fronted day sporran and that my black brogue shoes will get beat up in the dirt and weeds.

Should I put my brown Derby foot down and say, "If they want me kilted, I'm going to follow the norms of the originating region?" That makes me sound like a petulant child. Do I wear the, to my eye, incongruous, black matching accessories in defiance of established custom?

To add further, I will likely be the only one kilted and the overall formality level is sharp business suit (wedding party and family) down to jeans and blazer (peripheral friends and acquaintances).

[Tobus]

I wouldn't say it's in defiance of established custom to wear black shoes and sporran. It's done all the time.

The worst offense in this situation would be to upset the bride on the day of her wedding, or your wife. If there's nothing egregious about what they've asked you to wear, just wear it and enjoy the day!

You still have a couple of weeks to find some more sturdy black brogues, if you're worried about your existing ones.

[Jock Scot]

Two things.

1. Your wife wants you to wear the kilt, its not a pantomime outfit and you now know more about kilt attire than she does, then wear the kilt as it should. Fine, adjust things if you can, but there are limits! By the way matching leathers is no big deal either way. You are obsessing far to much about stuff matching. If they do they do, if they don't they don't, the secret is not bothering about colour choices. I just grab the first thing out of the wardrobe and that is as much thought I give to colours.

2. Brogues of any colour if they are properly made, are fairly tough customers. Mine take a fair pounding in the countryside and apart from one new set leather soles they are still going strong after 30 something years.

WGN_1280.jpg

017 2.jpg

And then they go to a wedding perfectly happily, (Suit equivalent).
DSCN0041.jpg

[Macman]

I tend to agree with you that what you're suggesting to wear is preferable to what your wife would like you to wear, but what she is suggesting is not so "out there" that I would disagree with it. My two cents? Keep with the official theme for the photos and keep your wife happy on this occasion.

[Lady Grey]

Do what most of the women will be doing... take both pairs of shoes!

Ceremony & photos in the the black as per She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed edict.
Then change to the brown for food, drink, dancing and merriment.

If it’s an outdoor wedding most of the women will have heels then change to flats. Nothing worse than sinking expensive heels into the lawn and turning an ankle or worse.

Have a wonderful time!

[gsmacleod]

I'm curious as to what you were planning for hose? Ultimately, I think it's hard to go wrong with claret or burgundy hose (see Jock's images) and green flashes should be fine.

For the shoes, I'd go with black brogues and brown sporran if you feel that sporran is a better fit. I'd not give a second thought to how brogues will hold up to some dirt and mud; should be nothing a good shine won't take care of.

If I were invited to a wedding and someone asked that I wear a kilt, I'd wear what I felt like wearing on that day. However, if I were going to be in pictures, I would, within reason, oblige the wedding party with my attire.

Shane

[Highland Logan]

I'll add my 2 cents... for what that's worth to others.

If asked to wear a suit, kilt, or other style of clothing to an event, I will respectfully comply, within the limits I am able. If a mode of dress was required, that I did not have, and it was absolutely required, I would rent if possible; time, money and availability; or I would decline the invitation.

But frankly, I'd have a hard time being dictated about the details of colour etc. I'm no one's organ-grinder monkey. Respect goes two ways.

You want me at your special day; want me to ware a suit... I'll be there!

But show enough respect to not tell me what colours etc. to wear. Not a path many these days want to tread..

Frank

[davidlpope]

I'm attending the wedding of my wife's best friend on October 25. I've been asked to wear the kilt. It is an outdoor daytime wedding (2:45 PM).

I was going to use the brown day sporran and sturdy brown Derbys (my black brogues aren't built for rough outdoor wear) with the green tweed waistcoat and jacket.

HOWEVER my lady, who is in the wedding party, has other plans. Since we'll have "official" photos taken, she wants me in the wedding colour scheme.

The green tweeds are fine (thank the Maker), but the brown leathers need to be swapped out to black to match her leather purse. The hose and tie need to be burgundy with green flashes. I don't object to those colours but forcing a match feels weird to me.

I honestly think that my plain brown day sporran would look better outdoors than my black fur-fronted day sporran and that my black brogue shoes will get beat up in the dirt and weeds.

Should I put my brown Derby foot down and say, "If they want me kilted, I'm going to follow the norms of the originating region?" That makes me sound like a petulant child. Do I wear the, to my eye, incongruous, black matching accessories in defiance of established custom?

To add further, I will likely be the only one kilted and the overall formality level is sharp business suit (wedding party and family) down to jeans and blazer (peripheral friends and acquaintances).

I think that I'd just wear what she is suggesting. It's not that big of a thing.

I wear black brogues and a brown sporran all the time with my kilt. I honestly think that's more the "established custom" than brown shoes.

[Jacques]

Maybe a compromise is in order. Perhaps some shopping for a more solid pair of black shoes and other accoutrements are in order? The better you look the more compliments she will receive.

Just a thought

Jacques

[Panache]

"You can be right, or you can be happy"

Choose one

and

Choose wisely

Cheers

Jamie