Heading to Black Tie Dinner: Critiques?

**ibrew4u** · 23rd February 17, 10:05 AM

I'm attending a military Black Tie Dinner this week and plan to be kilted. I did not retire, and would be inappropriate for me to be in uniform.

Advise beforehand is appreciated.

Argyll jacket and vest, hand tied black tie, Leatherneck tartan with USMC kilt pin, fur sporran with black leather strap, black knit hose with flashes (red to represent blood stripe on USMC dress trousers), black leather shoes, sgian-dubh in jacket pocket until appropriate in hose.

I fully expect to be fined (donation) for wearing a skirt, possessing a weapon, and not being clean shaven.

IMG_0052.jpg

**Jock Scot** · 23rd February 17, 10:24 AM

Actually, there is little to comment on! Well done. If I were being just a tad persnickety I would lower the hose top an inch. A slightly larger gap between hose top and kilt bottom would set off the whole picture a treat.

If it helps any, I would dispute that the kilt is a skirt and most definitely a SD is not and never has been a weapon, although I suppose it could be used as one in dire circumstances. Well alright, you are not going to do much about being clean shaven, but at least you can make those chaps who might, (will)want to fine you work for their money!

**Liam** · 23rd February 17, 10:38 AM

Originally Posted by Jock Scot

Actually, there is little to comment on! Well done. If I were being just a tad persnickety I would lower the hose top an inch. A slightly larger gap between hose top and kilt bottom would set off the whole picture a treat.

If it helps any, I would dispute that the kilt is a skirt and most definitely a SD is not and never has been a weapon, although I suppose it could be used as one in dire circumstances. Well alright, you are not going to do much about being clean shaven, but at least you can make those chaps who might, (will)want to fine you work for their money!

Well said Jock. I think he has about nailed it and I agree with your comments about the kilt not being a skirt and the sgian dubh being a weapon and suggest those that make those comments should be the ones fined. Regarding the hose as the evening goes on hose often tend to slip down a bit and will be just right.😉

**Jack Daw** · 23rd February 17, 12:20 PM

I agree with Jock to lower the tops of the hose. Some rules indicate 3 inches below the knee cap, if you're standing, but few people put their hose on standing up. I suggest you measure three inches below the protruding front-top part of the tibia bone.

**Nomad** · 23rd February 17, 12:22 PM

Very elegant, I would be happy for you to wear that in any of the messes I have been in.

Getting fined is all part of the game that leads to acceptance, accept it with a small smile. If you feel that the fines are excessive then humorous arguments in your defence are normally seen as evidence of a good personality - certainly in British messes.

Enjoy it and try to relax, chances are you will not be the only one feeling anxious, don't worry about what you are wearing its in excellent taste.

**Tarheel** · 23rd February 17, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by Nomad

If you feel that the fines are excessive then humorous arguments in your defence are normally seen as evidence of a good personality - certainly in British messes.

If indeed an good-humored banter ensues, demand the opposition show the faults of your attire. An impasse can bring allies to your aid.

**CelticSire** · 23rd February 17, 03:24 PM

I would assume that the event will be largely, if not all, Marines. If so, simply carry a box of crayons. When the remarks about you're being out of standard begin, simply hand out the crayons and they will be too distracted to continue. (A wee bit of good natured ribbing from the Army to the Marines!) Seriously, you are elegantly attired and should have no issues. Semper Fi!

**JohntheBiker** · 24th February 17, 12:52 PM

Well turned out!

**ibrew4u** · 24th February 17, 01:42 PM

Good natured ribbing is par for the course, and I am well prepared for whatever comes my way. To include a sporran full of singles.

And CelticSire, I am dismayed by your suggestion of passing out crayons.

Originally Posted by CelticSire

I would assume that the event will be largely, if not all, Marines. If so, simply carry a box of crayons. When the remarks about you're being out of standard begin, simply hand out the crayons and they will be too distracted to continue.

Your knowledge of modern day Marine Corps is sorely lacking.

Technology is so advanced, and Marines are much more capable nowadays. A multi-color pack of Sharpies would be much more appropriate. The colors are more vibrant, and Marines like to leave permanent damage in our wake!

Semper Fi,
JTB

**ibrew4u** · 25th February 17, 10:44 AM

A well attended dinner with 50 members of the Mess present.

Only one kilt, one other gentleman expressed his regrets at not thinking to wear his.

I got called out for having unauthorized alcohol in a flask in my "Man Purse."

The accuser made the mistake of claiming the content of my flask was whiskey. Making my way to Mr Vice's table for detailed analysis of the contents of my flask allowed me the opportunity to exercise some swish and swagger, which swayed the female members of the Mess to my side.

Mr Vice, being a student of whiskey's, pronounced, on first nosing, that the contents were Islay Scotch, and not simple whiskey. This peaked the interest of the mess, who were already intrigued at the presentation of my flask from the depths of my coyote fur sporran.

At once, the head table demanded further inspection, granting another opportunity to swish and swagger my way across the room.

All were in agreement that Laphroaig's Triple Wood Single Malt was no mere whiskey, and the accuser was sent to Mr. Vice to pay my fine for me.

A raucous evening ensued and a good time was had by all. It was not necessary to break out the crayons, as token members of the Army and Navy were present and brought the composite IQ down just a little bit.

Attached is a photo of me and some of the other "skirts" present.

MessNight.jpg