How to talk her into it?

**Kerr the Walker** · 6th April 09, 07:16 AM

So my girlfriend and I have recently begun discussing the topic of a wedding. I haven't proposed yet, but she knows it's coming. I've brought up my plans for being hitched in a kilt and she currently doesn't want anything to do with it. Her argument (which I find weak) is that I wear it all the time already. She thinks this would cheapen my wearing it for our wedding for some reason. I personally think this argument doesn't hold water, but I haven't figured out a polite way to tell her I think it's a load of manure and have just been saying "We'll need to talk about this more later."

Here's my question: How do I convince her that me being kilted for our wedding is a good idea? Idealy and significantly less likely, how do I make it seem like it was her idea so we all end up with smiles?

Thanks in advance.

**davedove** · 6th April 09, 07:20 AM

Even if you wear a kilt all the time, I highly doubt if you wear it all decked out formally on a regular basis. Show her some pictures of the full rig and good it looks. She probably wants her wedding to be special, so you should look special as well.

**Kerr the Walker** · 6th April 09, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by davedove

Even if you wear a kilt all the time, I highly doubt if you wear it all decked out formally on a regular basis. Show her some pictures of the full rig and good it looks. She probably wants her wedding to be special, so you should look special as well.

The part I don't get is we were at her cousin's wedding last summer and he had on the full rig in all its glory. She even said she thought it looked good. I guess I'll keep at it with the pics and see if I can change her mind.

**Jock Scot** · 6th April 09, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by Kerr the Walker

The part I don't get is we were at her cousin's wedding last summer and he had on the full rig in all its glory. She even said she thought it looked good. I guess I'll keep at it with the pics and see if I can change her mind.

Aha, there is your problem! Her cousin has already done it! Your lady wants to lead, not follow.

**sathor** · 6th April 09, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by Jock Scot

Aha, there is your problem! Her cousin has already done it! Your lady wants to lead, not follow.

I think that might be it right there.

That reason alone means it is a hard fight to win, and even if you do win, you will probably lose.

With luck, when my wife and I do a renewal of vows in a few years, it will be kilted. I'd have loved to been kilted for my wedding, but things were hectic, and I was traveling between MI and SC while she was going between MI and OH for the OH wedding, and doing the details there. (My dad was very sick and I was spending time there instead of where we were living or in Ohio working on last minute details. )

There were a number of issues that came up that weakened the wedding, our priestess canceled and we had to find a replacement, of the group of people we knew in MI, none that could officiate had the authority to do such in Ohio, except for me, and that was out of the question, and there were a few other details that made it a bit more difficult. We just got past our 5 year, I think she wants to do it for our 10 year.

**Tim B** · 6th April 09, 10:29 AM

I ecountered a similar problem when I proposed renewing our vows in formal kilt attire. My wife was ABSOLUTELY against it, even though she really likes me in a kilt. Couldn't figure out why for the longest time. Then she confided that she believes that a wedding (or renewal of vows) is all about the bride... which any self-respecting verile male would agree...She felt that me in a kilt, being that it would be somewhat unusual in this neck of the woods, would be SO unusual that the emphasis of the day would be on the fact that I was kilted...not on the renewal of our vows, or her as the bride.

Reluctantly, I have to admit that she is probably correct. Those who would be attending our event, even thought some have seen me regularly in a kilt, would probably be much more attentive to seeing someone in a kilt in Des Moines, Iowa than to the radiant beauty of my wife or the blessedness of the occasion. Part of human nature, I'm afraid.

The debate is still on.

**Jock Scot** · 6th April 09, 07:27 AM

Now is the time for her to present you with the kilt of a life time. You know the thing, the best 16oz family tartan (her choice of course!), hand made to the best bespoke specifications and there you go-----job done!

**Colonel MacNeal** · 6th April 09, 07:30 AM

If she doesn't dig it, then maybe you've got the wrong girl.

**timseh** · 6th April 09, 07:37 AM

I don't understand the reluctance... If the alternatives are fully decked out in Kilt, PC and Fly Plaid, or a boring old Tux, then I'd think the kilt would win hands down every time.

**Colonel MacNeal** · 6th April 09, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by timseh

I don't understand the reluctance... If the alternatives are fully decked out in Kilt, PC and Fly Plaid, or a boring old Tux, then I'd think the kilt would win hands down every time.

I think you may have hit on it. The kilts may take attention away from the bride and all her glory. (This is also the reason for most hideous bridesmaid dresses.)