Unfriendly word from on high

[HootinHoller]

First, I should mention that I'm working under "At Will" conditions in the US as a programmer.

After participating in Kilted Fridays for nearly 2 years with hearing nothing but compliments, I got a visit from my manager, not my supervisor, yesterday. Our COO has decided that kilts are ok to wear to work, however I've been forbidden from appearing in any customer facing meeting while wearing a kilt. It's not clear if that would include the customer stopping by my office or not (which often happens).

My manager said I'm embarrassed to have to even have this conversation. My co-workers who know about it are very supportive and thinking it bogus.

I'm not sure what I should or even can do about this, but at this point, I'm consulting our employee handbook, and polishing my resume.

[jthk]

Good luck with this difficult position. May I inquire as to your manager's response if you pointed out that you've received support from your co-workers? Did you mention this conversation to your direct supervisor? What was the problem, anyway, which prompted your manager to raise the issue?

Good luck (again),
Jonathan

[MinusHD]

This kind of thing is never good to hear about. At my place of employment (in a corporate environment) what were once occasional "jeans days" have changed to every Friday. The rest of the time it's "business casual". However, if we have face to face meetings with clients or vendors (or sometimes when the board is meeting on-site and we'll need to be in that part of the building) we are expected to dress in a more professional manner.

I haven't worn a kilt at work yet so I haven't encountered your particular situation, but I expect it would be the same here: Look "normal" and professional for important face to face meetings... nothing "weird" or out of the ordinary for business attire. Honestly, I'm fine with that.

Is it discrimination? It's a type of discrimination for sure, but you may have to dig a little deeper to determine if there would be a legal case here. Is it worth a fight? Maybe. That all comes down to the individual. Your employee handbook is definitely the place to get started, then a polite conversation with your HR team to confirm what the policy, as it is written, actually means - and that everybody understands the policy. There can be some fine lines when it comes to dress codes and individual preference. You may even find that some dress code policies get updated if you challenge this latest edict from the COO.

At the end of the day I think an employer can tell us what to wear and what not to wear unless they are infringing upon true civil rights. Unless you work for the government the First Amendment protections don't really apply. It as unfortunate as it may be, it's the employer's image that should be promoted in the client meetings. I suppose choosing to find another more kilt-friendly place to work is always an option, which you are already considering by updating your resume.

I'm not an employer, HR specialist or lawyer, so I could be wrong and my ideas are my own. I'm not trying to be a downer, either. I do think it's wonderful that your colleagues are supportive and your manager was at least a little uncomfortable in having to break the news to you. It's great to have support like that, and I hope your company (and the image they want to promote) will ultimately remain inclusive of kilts. Keep us posted!

[Father Bill]

You know, any making of choice is a form of discrimination. I discriminate against wearing my wife's earrings in the morning. I discriminate against one brand of aftershave vs. another. Some days I discriminate between wearing grey trousers in favour of brown.

Having said that, each individual and each corporation has an image of itself that it wishes to project. If you don't want to be part of that image, then maybe you and the company are incompatible and you do indeed have the choice to leave, just as they have the choice to ask you to do so if you can't play along.

I would certainly leave a company if I felt that they were immoral, racist, bigotted, criminal, crude, or hate-filled, but because my favourite outfit didn't match their wish to project a certain image? You've gotta be kiddin'!

I get up most mornings and put on a black shirt and clerical collar because that's the preference of my "corporation". I'm not actually even required to do so, but I'm happy to cooperate because I share the church's values (most of them, anyway! ) If I didn't, I'd leave, but over a love of my kilts?

I don't think so.

[MinusHD]

As a follow-up I'd like to share how my employer defines the "dress code" in our employee handbook

Additional info: We are a healthcare company that operates surgical facilities and hospitals, so the vast majority of our employees around the country wear scrubs. The rest of us are in a corporate environment.

(I've added some emphasis below to highlight how vague things can really get when it comes to a dress code)

---

Dress Code / Personal Appearance

A neat, tasteful appearance contributes to the positive impression you make on our customers. Youare expected to be suitably attired and groomed during working hours or when representing the company.Hairstyles, clothing and jewelry should conform to the best business and professional standards. Agood clean appearance bolsters your own poise and self-confidence and greatly enhances ourCompany image.

Personal appearance should be a matter of concern for each employee. If your manager feels yourattire or “image” is out of place, you may be asked to leave your workplace until you are properlyattired. You will not be paid for the time you are off for this purpose. Your manager has the sole authorization to determine an appropriate dress code, and anyone who violates this standard will besubject to appropriate disciplinary action.

The company will comply fully with the legal requirements of the Americans with Disabilities Act and otherapplicable state and federal laws.

---

That's it... how's that for guidance?

My former employer's dress code was much more specific. Very conservative. From what I understand at one time they went so far as to identify the color options for men's dress shirts (white or blue) and the specific styles of shoes (*metal buckles forbidden) that were allowed. Back then you weren't allowed to leave your desk without putting on your suit jacket. Kilts would have definitely been out at that place. However, it was a prestigious place to work for many years until the industry (and stock price) tanked. Maybe a few kilts could have saved it!

[ratspike]

Are women allowed to wear skirts when meeting customers? If so, you might have a legit case to take to HR, but is this honestly a big deal? Remember, while we all think kilts are fabulous not everyone out in the real world agrees. To some, a guy wearing a kilt is nothing more than a man in a skirt, and they don't like it. I completely understand why your COO would not want kilts to be worn during meetings with customers. If you worked at a creative, young, energetic tech firm with air hockey tables and a two story slide, I bet it'd be different. Or maybe not.

Because I'm not down with being told how to dress I worked for myself for almost 20 years. I know some clients didn't like the fact that I wore a kilt, but I was so good at my job that it didn't matter. Now that I don't work for myself anymore I still wear a kilt, but if that wasn't an option I wouldn't be bothered. It's just clothing.

[jthk]

Bill,

While, yes, of course you're correct with one definition of "discriminate" however it is commonly understood in my location to refer to the second entry, "make an unjust or prejudicial distinction in the treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, sex, or age."

I'm simply commenting on the contextual understanding of the word with regards to my own locale. Perhaps, in yours, it's different.

Regards,
Jonathan

You know, any making of choice is a form of discrimination. I discriminate against wearing my wife's earrings in the morning. I discriminate against one brand of aftershave vs. another. Some days I discriminate between wearing grey trousers in favour of brown.

Having said that, each individual and each corporation has an image of itself that it wishes to project. If you don't want to be part of that image, then maybe you and the company are incompatible and you do indeed have the choice to leave, just as they have the choice to ask you to do so if you can't play along.

I would certainly leave a company if I felt that they were immoral, racist, bigotted, criminal, crude, or hate-filled, but because my favourite outfit didn't match their wish to project a certain image? You've gotta be kiddin'!

I get up most mornings and put on a black shirt and clerical collar because that's the preference of my "corporation". I'm not actually even required to do so, but I'm happy to cooperate because I share the church's values (most of them, anyway! ) If I didn't, I'd leave, but over a love of my kilts?

I don't think so.

[Liam]

Something I learned may years ago is that the boss isn't always right, but he is always the boss. My advice is to either accept it or move on.

[jthk]

An important point which, in 2016, could be used effectively. Are women allowed to wear skirts, trousers as they see fit in the workplace?

Second important point: Is it that big of a deal for you?

Guluck,
Jonathan

Are women allowed to wear skirts when meeting customers? If so, you might have a legit case to take to HR, but is this honestly a big deal? Remember, while we all think kilts are fabulous not everyone out in the real world agrees. To some, a guy wearing a kilt is nothing more than a man in a skirt, and they don't like it. I completely understand why your COO would not want kilts to be worn during meetings with customers. If you worked at a creative, young, energetic tech firm with air hockey tables and a two story slide, I bet it'd be different. Or maybe not.

Because I'm not down with being told how to dress I worked for myself for almost 20 years. I know some clients didn't like the fact that I wore a kilt, but I was so good at my job that it didn't matter. Now that I don't work for myself anymore I still wear a kilt, but if that wasn't an option I wouldn't be bothered. It's just clothing.

[Father Bill]

Actually, I think that the policy quoted is extremely clear. It gives general guidelines, and makes it an absolute that the manager has the right to decide whether your choices fall within them. How can one get clearer than that?

I think you're probably licking a dead horse, and if you start to split hairs on what the policy means, you'll lose, either immediately or eventually. If that's the way you operate, they just won't want you on staff.

As some have said, is it really that important?