Thread for members who pass away, or become seriously ill.

[Jerry]

Yesterday morning, as we were eating breakfast, my wife, out of the blue, said, I have an address book with all of my contact information in the top drawer of my computer desk, but I have no way to contact the forums you go to if something should happen to you. I guess that this was brought on by the recent passing of three members of a local sporting group that I have been a member of for nearly 50 years. Anyhow, this got me to wondering about the possibility of having a place where family members could post "death notices" for members, or notices when a member becomes seriously ill. Perhaps, it could, ion some way be set up so the posting family member could post the notice without joining the forum. We have many members, in our members list, who have just quit posting, sometimes quite suddenly. I know that there are many reasons for this, including issues with the mods for rules violations as well as just losing interest. However, I am sure that some of these have probably passed away, and no one here knows. One other way, could be a special email address where a family member could email a contact on the board, and that member could post a notice.

[Chas]

I am a Fellow of the International Association of Amateur Heralds - we only exist in cyberspace, like X Marks the Scot.com.

Every January, we have a census;
the secretary emails (not PMs) all active members;
members have 30 days to respond;
if there is no response the member is placed on the grey list (non-active)(forever);
at any time they can re-activate their membership with an email;
There is no loss of status.

I am sure a similar formula could be worked out for us.

Regards

Chas

[ForresterModern]

I think Jerry's point is that we have a lot of cyberspace only friends who we care about greatly, but if they suddenly drop off the web we usually have no idea of why, and if there is anything we can do to provide help, sympathy, empathy, support, or other. Jock Scot's injury recently was a prime example. Had his assistant not known how involved he was in this forum, and known how to post in his name, we might never have known that Jock was in trouble, let alone life threatening. It was said throughout his recovery many times on the two threads in this section that the words of kindness and well wishes we sent individually and as a group had a great effect on his spirits, and hopefully on his recovery. We would like to be able to do this for all members in injury, illness, or for thier families if passing.

I suggest we each make sure that along withour important papers is a list of our active forums and logins/passwords, so that those who care for us can find them and pass on the word more easily. Good idea Jerry, or rather Jerry's wife.

Jeff :ootd:

[Rex_Tremende]

It is my intention, as I am in the process of reworking my will, to include the location and access instructions to a list of important user IDs and passwords. My executor will be instructed whom to inform, and what personal records are to be destroyed.

The tricky part will be keeping the list updated.

Regards,
Rex.

[Mael Coluim]

Good idea, Jerry. Rex has a good plan.

[Chas]

I would be really surprised if more than 1% of the members have made a will. Males don't want to think about their mortality until such time as they have to. I don't know how it works in the US, but in the UK in a legal marriage the spouse of the deceased inherits automatically, there is no reason to make a will unless one wants to make specific bequests.

Regards

Chas

[Rex_Tremende]

And if the spouse goes first? How are the assets divided over there when the second one goes? What if there is no spouse or there are no descendants? What if it's a second marriage and there are multiple families involved? What if the inheritance would create a special burden for those who would receive it? Is having the state decide how to dispose of your assets really the best way in most cases?

Regards,
Rex.

[Chas]

And if the spouse goes first? How are the assets divided over there when the second one goes? What if there is no spouse or there are no descendants? What if it's a second marriage and there are multiple families involved? What if the inheritance would create a special burden for those who would receive it? Is having the state decide how to dispose of your assets really the best way in most cases?
Regards,
Rex.

Rex, I agree completely. I made my first will in 1976 at the age of 24, just before a tour in Northern Ireland. As it happened, it was almost needed - I spent three weeks in a coma due to an IRA car bomb.

It has been updated, more or less, about every two years. My wife and I have our eyes checked and new glasses every two years and that acts as an aide memoir to have a look at our wills.

There are many procedures in the UK which, although advisable, do not require the use of a solicitor. Making a will is one of them. One can buy 'Do It Yourself' will packs, which are really excellent for the layman. In general, will making is seen as a solicitor's 'cash cow', which they come back and milk on a regular basis.

To go through your points as best I can:

And if the spouse goes first?

Then they do not inherit. The inheritance passes to the next heir. Many wills have a 28 day survival clause.

How are the assets divided over there when the second one goes?

Although husbands and wives can make a joint will, in essence there are two wills on the same sheet of paper. Unless there in a disaster of some sort and a couple die together, one will usually predecease the other. Who ever dies last disposes of the inheritance through their will. If there is a disaster, and with no evidence to the contrary, there is a 'legal fiction' that the wife outlived the husband and her will is the last one enforceable (this principle also works in parent / child relationships - the child outlives the parent).

What if there is no spouse or there are no descendants?

After the payment of all debts (public and private), the inheritance is put into abeyance for seven years. After that time, if no heir is forthcoming, the State inherits.

What if it's a second marriage and there are multiple families involved?

All children born in wedlock inherit equally (if there is no spouse). A divorced wife inherits nothing.

What if the inheritance would create a special burden for those who would receive it?

Bad luck. There have been many cases where a testator has willed something (land, buildings, businesses for example) to someone to stop them from doing something else (emigrating, starting another business, going down a different career path). An heir does not have to inherit - they can refuse the inheritance, but they cannot pick and choose. They inherit what is alloted to them or they give it all up (forever).

Is having the state decide how to dispose of your assets really the best way in most cases?

No, but it is a system that works. In cases of intestacy, where there is no clear cut heir, the coroner will appoint an 'Official Solicitor'. His job is to get the best deal for the survivors even at the expense of the State. They used to have to make a little speech at the start of all proceedings - "I am the Official Solicitor - I speak for those who have no tongue; I see for those who have no eye; I walk for those who cannot stand; I strive for those who have no strength..." and it goes on for another paragraph calling upon God and the Sovereign to aid and assist him in his task.

In most cases of intestacy the inheritance goes wholly to the spouse. If no spouse then all children born in wedlock equally. If no children, then grandchildren (again in wedlock) equally. If no grandchildren then nieces and nephews (in wedlock) equally. The inheritance does not go up wards to parents or uncles and aunts, nor does it go sideways to brothers and sisters or any other 'in-laws'. If there are no spouses or children or grandchildren or nieces or nephews, then the Official Solicitor will entertain claims by surviving relatives and will allot the inheritance (often by need rather than closeness to deceased). His ruling can be challenged, but rarely successfully.

I hope this has been of some use and I hope I have explained it properly.

Regards

Chas

[piperdbh]

If you have Mozilla Firefox, then you have the option of your computer remembering your login and password for everything you log in to. (Other browsers might offer the same option.) With all those passwords already remembered, it shouldn't be too hard for a spouse or executor to log in and inform the folks on your forums or chat rooms or whatever else about your condition. That might make it easier on the person responsible for informing us about a member's health or death, or to check the status of something ordered online, or pay the light bill.

Regarding the info Chas posted, I heard from a US attorney recently that if a person dies, the surviving spouse gets half and the surviving parents get half. If there are no surviving parents, then the spouse gets the whole shebang. Is that true, or was that just in North Carolina?

[The Celtic Gypsy]

Something along the same lines was discussed in another forum where I am a member. It got me thinking about all my cyber friends in the different forums where i belong and how to let them know something happened to me. This has already been a situation with me three years ago when I had a very serious gall bladder infection that had me in the hospital for two weeks and in a three month recovery period when i wanted nothing to do with anything.

What I did to remedy the problem was to use 3 x 5 cards with the forum name, the URL, my cyber name and password into the forum. I also put the head moderator (if I know who it is) with contact information. It took me a while to get some of the information as I use Firefox and have most of the forums set up to remember the password. I then let three family members know where the file box is should anything happen to me. (They think I am a little nuts about this, but it does put my mind at ease.) The 3x5 also allow for easy updating of forums that i either op out of or join.

As for who gets what when a person dies, in Michigan, the spouse gets it all (bills included). No spouse, it goes to the children. And if no spouse or children, it goes to the next of kin, ie siblings, then nieces and nephews, and so on. Hoever if you have a will, you can leave what ever you want to who ever you want, including all of your estate to the cat!