Dressing for the dreaded 'semi-formal' event... advice appreciated

[Fresh]

Hello rabble...

I am a long-time lurker, first time poster. This summer, I will be attending the national convention with my fraternity (I have served on the board of directors for 8 years, and am currently the National President). We are a gender-inclusive fraternity, so we have female members and members who do not identify within the gender binary in addition to the male members typically associated with the term fraternity. Our national convention ends with a 'formal' awards banquet. Note that I have used both the meaningless term 'semi-formal' in the title and 'formal' (again in quotation marks) to describe the event. Since we are a fraternity, most of our membership who will be attending are current college students, although we will have a fairly strong representation of alumni this year, for our 100th anniversary. As is the case the world over, dress codes are evolving toward a more casual meaning, hence my use of 'semi-formal' (slightly tongue-in-cheek).

Although we term the event 'formal,' most will come dressed in what some may term semi-formal or perhaps more accurately, 'business attire.' For males, this will generally mean a shirt and tie at a minimum, sport coats for many, suits for others. I would be surprised to see a tuxedo, which would largely be considered over dressing, though it has happened in the past. There will likely be a bow tie (probably not black) or two worn in lieu of a long tie, probably at least one of our board members will do so--it's kind of his thing. Women tend to wear cocktail dresses of varying length, but mostly slightly above the knee (lots of LBDs). Some women will wear slightly more formal evening gowns, sometimes designer dresses rented in a manner not dissimilar to a tuxedo or kilt rental--two of our women board members tend to take this approach, and our Executive Director tends to wear an ankle-length dress, probably because it is simply an excuse to do so. In general, our board of directors and many of our professional staff and alumni will tend toward the dressy end of the spectrum, with dark suits and more formal dresses. We may see a military uniform or two as well. Our fraternity colors are purple and gold, so that will be well-represented in dresses, perhaps some shirts, and certainly ties (we tend more toward purple than gold). We do not have an official tie. In the past, I have typically worn a dark suit (black or charcoal) with a white shirt and a purple or purple and gold tie. One year I wore a purple bow tie. Hopefully, that provides enough context to understand the level of dress expected.

This year, I plan to wear my kilt (MacDonald of the Isles--sometimes described as MacDonald Lord of the Isle, Hunting Modern, which is predominantly forest or tartan green, with navy, and black and an overcheck consisting of red and white stripes. Not dissimilar to MacKenzie modern in terms of color and thread count). I will likely be the only one in THCD attending (my wife--also a member of the fraternity--will be wearing a long dress and a tartan sash to match). I think the BBSBA with matching 5-button vest will be my jacket choice for the evening. A PC would be over the top, and while a dark tweed would perhaps work very well, I do not own one. I realize the BBSBA is probably at the dressy end of the spectrum, and I'm fine with that. I will probably wear a white french-cuff shirt, but am open to alternative suggestions here based on the color coordination questions I am asking below. I will likely wear my black ghillies--yes, I know that nicely polished oxfords/wingtips would serve as well (some might argue better). I will wear a long tie and solid color hose... but what color(s)?

I have reviewed many threads with pictures of examples for various contexts, and find them immensely helpful (thanks to Panache/McMurdo and Nathan and Jock Scot and many others for all your helpful pictures on these various threads). So I think I'm more or less in the ballpark, but I would still like some advice.

My questions:

1. What sporran should I wear? Is a dress sporran (fur, cantle) appropriate in this context? Would a black daywear sporran (leather, with or without cantle) work as well/better? Jock Scot, I'm looking at you... though others' advice is certainly both welcome and appreciated.

2. I don't want to be matchy-matchy with my hose, tie, etc., a lesson I've learned from reading these forums for some time. My question is one of contrasting versus clashing. Would a purple tie (perhaps with or without gold/yellow stripes) work? The opinion of the traditionalists here seems to be that a regimental tie (diagonally striped) of any color scheme is fine to wear with your kilt that should be, in this context, treated simply as any pair of pants for the purposes of coordinating a tie. With the vest, I think this probably is a non-issue, but thought I'd throw it out there anyway.

3. Related to 2 above, how would you suggest picking hose and flashes/garter ties to try to work some purple (and/or purple and gold) into this outfit? I have thought about bottle green hose with purple flashes (subdued)... purple hose with gold flashes (bold, perhaps bordering on clownish)... and everything in between... or just skipping the purple/gold below the knee altogether and doing something (more traditional? or perhaps more commonly seen in the highlands?) like bottle green, navy, or charcoal hose with a red/claret garter tie or flashes. I don't want to look like the Joker or the Incredible Hulk by mixing up green and purple too heavily, and, as noted above, I am not trying to be matchy-matchy with the hose/flashes/tie, but I would like to work at least a little purple into my ensemble. If that is best accomplished by simply wearing a purple tie, I can work with that.

So this is quite lengthy for a first post, but in reading some threads of others seeking advice, it seems that there are often requests for more information, and I'm trying to provide all that up front. Anyway, thanks in advance. I realize I'm overthinking this, but that's kind of what this forum is for, no?

[Tarheel]

Well met new member. Let me be the first to welcome you and respond to a lengthy yet thorough set of questions.
Stick with the French cuff shirt. Find cuff links that will add a bit of Gold (since this seem to be one of the colors you mention often). Your station as acting Pres. requires the "Pomp and Circumstance".
I would opt for Wing tips or Patent leather and highly shined instead of ghillies (unless your pair are very comfortable).
1) I would choose a grey fur sporran with Silver cantle.
2) If there is a Fraternity tie, I would wear that and match my hose to the lightest color. ie. Gold in tie = Mustard hose. If no Frat. tie I would try to find a tie to enhance the sporran and lightest Frat. color. ie. Gold and silver stripe.
3) I would opt for purple flashes made of material not satin. Smaller length below the hose fold and subtle tone of color. Less is more here because your position (as administrator force) will attract attention, and people should be looking into your eyes not your knees. *Ladies and Pre-med students are exempt.*

Remember, conventions and reunions are fun, even though some have business attached to the program. Keep a light heart and your attire will be perfect for the occasion.

[davidlpope]

BBSB argyll, white turnback cuffs, fold down collar shirt, gold tie with small purple stripes, kilt, dark red hose, black brogues, leather or sealskin sporran, belt and buckle.

[Macman]

My only difference from the above advice is that I wouldn't go with the dress or fur sporran, but would stick with leather, with cantle if you have one, but without if you don't.

[Liam]

BBSB argyll, white turnback cuffs, fold down collar shirt, gold tie with small purple stripes, kilt, dark red hose, black brogues, leather or sealskin sporran, belt and buckle.

or vest/ waist coat and no belt/ buckle

[Jock Scot]

First of all, welcome to the Rabble. Gosh, you really have studied the subject well. As a broad comment you must remember that we on this website do tend to obsess over the minute details of kilt wearing and whilst that is good fun, interesting to a degree, it does illustrate well that separating theory from practice is not always easy for some. You have had good advice above and the difficulties for newcomers are often in the form of overthinking the detail. Especially for those outwith the UK who do not understand the subtleties of British traditions in general and subtleties of Scottish kilt traditions in particular.

Take ties for example, If your "Gin and Tonics" Regimental tie is some dreadful combination of colours and matches absolutely nothing---as some do!---- are you not going to wear the tie with the kilt? Of course you will, it is what it is and one wears it come what may. Years of muck and bullets entitle one to wear it, so fashion and colour coding most certainly aren't an issue! It is this sort of thing that many outwith these shores wrestle with when making kilt attire decisions.

So alright, you have singled me out for a specific question about sporrans. Quick answer. A plain black leather sporran will be perfect for your event as its not formal. Events are either formal or they are not, this semi-formal thing is pure modern nonsense. Again we have theory and we have practice at work here, the theory says that one should wear a dress sporran to formal events and that is quite right, no argument there. The practice is rather different! Again for example, as far as I am concerned, find me a dress sporran that I like and I will happily wear it at the appropriate time, but since I recycled my dress sporrans to my children some thirty years ago, I have worn my plain black sporran to probably 99% of all the kilted events I have been to and yes, dress(formal) events too. No bolts of lightning, no untoward comments, no nothing, some may have their own thoughts on the matter though, but I doubt it. Those that know me and many do, know the reasons, those that don't know me are too polite to say anything------IF they have noticed and most don't know or even care! We need therefore, to be careful not to over-egg the cake with kilt attire and this is particularly easy to do with the sporran. However, this is real life not internet hair splitting.

So what am I saying? There are times and with experience( and with that comes confidence) one can adjust conventions a bit and overthinking can be sometimes a hinderance. Where many from outwith these shores tend to go off course is the lack of these two things and rigidly stick to the safe choices of the theory and end up looking like a tailors dummy or worse still, like a clown.

[McMurdo]

I am glad you were able to glean something from my photos, I wanted first off to touch on something Jock said above. That is with time comes confidence. Let me tell you the first time I left the house in my dad's kilt and sporran which like Jock he recycled, I was terrified. What would people say? The event went off well enough and I wore it again sporadically in the coming months. Once the bug bit as it were I started wearing the kilt daily and did so for 5 years. This gave me both the academic and practical knowledge to meet most any situation and to choose the right outfit for any event while still maintaining some modicum of personal style.

For your event I agree with most of what everyone is saying above, however I will add you do need to work with what you have for example my dad had one sporran his entire life, a brown day sporran that he wore to every event he ever wore the kilt at save my twin brothers wedding. Having said that, you have a black argyll with silver buttons and suitable shirt, as I always warn against mixing formalities I would personally wear a bow tie here keeping in mind what you were saying about the fraternity colours I did not say a black bow tie. As for the rest of it have fun with the colours you choose and enjoy the night, try not to think to hard on all of this as that tends to ruin the evening in my experience. Oh one last thought it matters not what tartan you wear as it is your tartan, so matching to it is not high on the list of priorities. Again have a great night and post photos if you can. Glad to have you on the forum.

[Fresh]

Thanks, all, for the warm welcome and for the rapid and thorough replies.

One thing I should clarify is that while I am new to this forum, I am not new to wearing the kilt. My wife and I were married 11 years ago, in the Royal Burgh of Peebles, Scotland, and I ordered my bespoke kilt for the occasion knowing that I would continue to wear it after. When we were married, I fell victim to the typical rental shop advice so often derided as an erosion of THCD style--think of cream hose and a PC jacket with dress sporran for an afternoon wedding. This has generally (and unfortunately) influenced the style in which I wore the kilt for several years. So while I am grateful for the comments encouraging confidence and comfort, a mark of the welcoming nature of the xmarks community, I can say that I am certainly comfortable wearing a kilt and have had no lack of confidence wearing it in a variety of situations for the past decade or so: to work, to highland games/celtic festivals, on St. Patrick's Day, Tartan Day, my wedding anniversary, and to various social gatherings from employer-hosted holiday dinners to casual Hogmanay parties, etc., and recently, to a funeral.

At this point, I am simply trying to improve the way in which I wear the kilt, with an eye to being more fashionably consistent with THCD. Or said another way, having learned much from xmarks, I no longer want to look like I came straight from a kilt hire shop (not that I always have, but I have definitely progressed away from cream hose as the standard for formal wear, for example). If Jock Scot happened to pass me on the street, I would consider it a win if he wondered for a second or two whether I am a neighbor he had never chanced to meet.

So yes, I'm overthinking it a bit, but it is not a result of being a newcomer so much as exploring a desire to change some long-held beliefs about kilt fashion stemming from poor advice. Based on the comments above, here are my takeaways:

1. Sporran: morning dress, black tie, and white tie events would warrant a dress sporran, but for everything else, a plain black/brown leather sporran is the suitable (and perhaps also sensible) choice. Along these lines, it would not be untoward to wear a plain leather sporran for a formal event, so long as one is comfortable/confident doing so. In either case, it is probably best to err on the side of too plain, with respect to one's sporran, than to wear something incongruously formal to an event that is not formal. Since I rarely have occasion for black tie events and have never attended a white tie event, it would probably be wise for me to invest in a higher quality black leather sporran and wear that for pretty much everything I do in my kilt. I have two daywear sporrans that are not particularly well-made, so this event is probably a good excuse for me to upgrade to a better quality daywear sporran that will serve me well in the future.

2. Tie: Stop worrying about the clashing of the kilt and the tie, and just wear fraternity colors, as I would normally do when wearing a suit.

3. Waistcoat: Several have suggested a belt in lieu of a waistcoat (I never wear both--one piece of actually helpful advice I did get from the hire shop). Seems that the thinking here is with the level of formality I described for this event, a BBSBA worn with a belt rather than a waistcoat would help to dress down the look a bit to a level more consistent with the level of formality to which others are dressing.

4. Hose/flashes: The advice is all over the map here, but the common thread is that pretty much anything will work. I'll probably go with something dark for hose and let the focus be above my knees.

Thanks again for the advice and the warm welcome!

[Jock Scot]

Hose and flashes are a minefield mainly caused by overthinking. My dear wife finds it highly amusing that grown men can spend hours of their time on this website discussing, agonising even, again and again and again and again the finer points of kilt hose and flashes. I must confess that I have yet to understand why either, but of course with new members joining all the time the subject is obviously a concern for them. The best brief answer concerning hose colour that I can give is; " any colour you like other than white, but if I had to pick two colours then my first choice would be claret(maroon) and second would be, bottle green."

Flashes are a subject very much overthought about by nearly everyone on this website.

Does one wear flashes or garter ties? For what it is worth. Me? Flashes.

Does one wear tartan flashes? Me? No.

How much does one have(flashes) showing? Me? About an inch.

What colour suits this or that colour hose? Me? I have one set of flashes, blue.

Must one always wear flashes/garter ties? Me? No.

If I don't wear flashes/ties surely my hose will fall down? Me? Suitable sized elastic bands( provided free almost daily by the postal service) are just the job.

In the end we all make our choices, but in all honesty, 10 seconds should be enough to make a lifetime choice.

[CMcG]

...

My questions:

1. What sporran should I wear? ...

2. I don't want to be matchy-matchy with my hose, tie, etc., .... Would a purple tie (perhaps with or without gold/yellow stripes) work? ...

3. Related to 2 above, how would you suggest picking hose and flashes/garter ties to try to work some purple (and/or purple and gold) into this outfit? ... or just skipping the purple/gold below the knee altogether and doing something (more traditional? or perhaps more commonly seen in the highlands?) like bottle green, navy, or charcoal hose with a red/claret garter tie or flashes.

Welcome, Fresh! You've already had some good advice, which I will augment with my 2 cents and a photo that you might find helpful.

Seeing as this evening event is not truly formal (i.e., black or white tie), I'd go with a black leather sporran. If it were actually formal, however, a metal cantle sporran (with or without fur) would be appropriate. Jock Scot can wear his plain day sporran for (almost) everything, which is his prerogative, but it's not the most conventional choice for formal evening wear

As you've already read, a school/club/regiment tie just works with a tartan kilt—regardless of colours. My tie from the Chinese University of Hong Kong is in the school colours of gold and purple, which happen to be the same as your fraternity. Don't worry about matching because significance of association in tie and tartan trump fashion choices.

With a club tie covering the fraternity colours, I'd go with something else below the knees. From my wardrobe, it would be navy or charcoal hose at an event like the one you describe, but bottle green would be just as good. Red flashes make a nice accent. I prefer regular brogues to ghillies, but regardless, make sure to put a good polish on them!

And now a pic of me wearing my kilt at an evening event that could fall under the nebulous "semi-formal" dress code, with clan tartan kilt (MacQuarrie), gold and purple school tie, bbsba, leather sporran, navy hose, and red flashes. The shirt is a light blue, but a white shirt would be fine too.