Americans- a little brash and maybe uncouth?

**Joseph** · 23rd July 14, 04:56 PM

I dont mean to be rude. I love this forum, and the resources available to me as a new kilt wearer. Looking at some of the threads that have previously been locked. I can see I will have to be careful about my veiws and thoughts. I mean no harm. But as a red blooded American we are used to the freedom to discuss critical thoughts. I have a lot to learn about kilts, Celts, Scotish / Irish culture and the moddest ways to say or not say things to mixed audiences. So all I ask is that you teach me. Dont sensor me. I am not a robot and I wont be programmed. I can be guided though.

With the most humble respect and love for all people,
Joseph

**Father Bill** · 23rd July 14, 05:04 PM

Always welcome to discuss, Joseph, just be as polite as you have in this post and there will be few problems.

Almost alll other nations are also accustomed to the freedom to discuss critical thoughts. Americans don't have any special corner on that market. It's just that some folks, American or otherwise seem to sometimes forget the manners that always need to be used in polite society.

**ASinclair** · 23rd July 14, 05:31 PM

In my part of the USA (The South), we have a saying -- There's no excuse for rudeness.

**Liam** · 23rd July 14, 05:56 PM

Joseph... have a read through the forum rules (tab above). Abide by and respect these and "kilt on"

Slainte

**GrainReaper** · 23rd July 14, 06:09 PM

In a short phrase, be a true gentleman..

Not just here, but in everything you do, it seems to be a fading principle anymore and that is a shame.

**crsbryan** · 24th July 14, 07:26 AM

Brash? Yes.
Uncouth? Depends on the audience. But often we can and will be.
What passes for manners in NY might not fly in GA or NM. And what goes there might seem odd in WI or OR.
I keep telling my son: Manners don't cost anything, and can get you everything.
I need to remind myself of this, too.

**Nathan** · 24th July 14, 09:39 AM

Joseph,

It is helpful to remember that xmarksthescot.com is someone's (Steve Ashton) personal property. It's kind of like Steve invited us all over to his place for a get together. When you're a guest in someone's house, you have to abide by their rules. If you don't like their rules, there are other places to spend your time. If nobody likes the rules, the party would be dead pretty quickly. Most people here are ok with the rules.

I have found xmarks to be a very hospitable place and have learned a ton from being here but the rules are the rules and they are enforced.

I would add that I think, on balance, the rules here make sense and encourage civil discussion on a variety of kilt-related subjects. I have strayed too close to the line at times and have been contacted by the mods. Ultimately, I choose to be here and, as such, I choose to abide by the rules of the community. I value my freedom and I have the freedom to stay or go so I choose to stay.

I have managed to find a way to speak my mind whenever it is on topic but I do take care to choose my words in order to avoid my point getting lost due to impolite, insulting or aggressive tone.

There are also subjects I'm passionate about that are not germane to this forum. Too bad for me. Oh well.

Learn the rules and do your best to follow them and your time here will be enjoyable. Not only have I learned a lot, I've met some fantastic people both online and in person.

Also, remember that the moderators give freely of their time to enhance this community and many expert contributors share their knowledge just to be nice. Everyone's blood is red and everyone likes their freedom, but your freedom to swing your arm ends at the tip of my nose. In the grand scheme of things, the rules here balance everyone's freedom and everyone's noses.

If the site were mine, would I do things a little differently? Perhaps. But it's not, it's Steve Ashton's and it is the most popular kilt related forum on the internet so he must be doing something right.

Slainte,

Nathan

**KentuckyCeltophile** · 24th July 14, 11:49 AM

Joseph,
We in the States are blessed with such freedom to question our government without fear of retribution. The Constitution gives us that freedom of course. Over time, many people in our nation have taken that freedom for granted as though we have supreme rights to say whatever we want to whomever without considering our words or their effects. Furthermore, we shutter at the idea of being censored or told our opinions are wrong. Truly, this has placed a stigma on our great nation, in general.

Fortunately, there are those like us who are have opinions but are gentle enough to consider others before we speak. We value others enough to listen to the opposition and learn from our experiences. We embody freedom in our ability to listen and learn, not just speak. I'm not coming down on you and I'm certainly not being anti-American. I have learned much from this site by reading mostly and asking questions.

My advise to you is this. Give each post the benefit of the doubt. If there is anything said that offends you, send a PM to that person and kindly ask for clarification before you judge it to be offensive. Often what is typed reads differently to other people and is miscommunicated. On that note, when questioned about something you say, consider that what you type may not have been communicated well in this typed medium.

Cheers,
KC

**Joseph** · 24th July 14, 12:11 PM

Thanks. Benefit of the doubt is all I am asking for. I don't intend to break any rules. I see political comments are basically a no go. Gun talk is mostly a no go. I made a comment about people being able to CHOOSE to wear a skirt and make up if they want to. And that they may even get less flack for it in this day and age than one of us in a kilt. So it was suggested I may have been borderline offensive to cross dressers. Which was never my intent. So reread my original post with that in mind.

**Nathan** · 24th July 14, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by Joseph

Thanks. Benefit of the doubt is all I am asking for. I don't intend to break any rules. I see political comments are basically a no go. Gun talk is mostly a no go. I made a comment about people being able to CHOOSE to wear a skirt and make up if they want to. And that they may even get less flack for it in this day and age than one of us in a kilt. So it was suggested I may have been borderline offensive to cross dressers. Which was never my intent. So reread my original post with that in mind.

To clarify, there is a rule (#9) that prohibits discussing cross dressing, whether it's offensive to them or not.