Holiday Diet

[Mael Coluim]

I found this diet on Cooks.com. It should help you manage the waistline during the stressful Holiday binge eating. Good luck!

HOLIDAY DIET

This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the holiday season.

BREAKFAST:

1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz. skim milk

LUNCH:

4 oz. lean broiled chicken
1 c. steamed spinach
1 c. herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:

Rest of Oreos in pkg.
1 jar hot fudge sauce
2 pts. rocky road ice cream
Nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER:

2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
Large sausage, mushroom & cheese pizza
4 cans or 1 large pitcher of beer
3 MILKY WAY® candy bars

LATE EVENING NEWS:

Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, don't count calories if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts; hot chocolate and brandy, toast and Sara Lee cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal food requirement, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, red hots and Tootsie Roll.s

7. Cookie pieces have no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Example: Peanut butter on a cracker.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples: Spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted anywhere.

[TheKiltedWonder]

that sounds a lot like my seafood diet. I see food and I eat it

[James MacMillan]

Here's another diet to help with the stress of the season:

Breakfast: Two shots of single malt.
Lunch: Three shots of single malt.
Dinner: Four shots of single malt.
Late snack: Egg nog, made with five shots of single malt.

Stress? What stress?

[CactusJack]

Here's another diet to help with the stress of the season:

Breakfast: Two shots of single malt.
Lunch: Three shots of single malt.
Dinner: Four shots of single malt.
Late snack: Egg nog, made with five shots of single malt.

Stress? What stress?

James, I like that one, I shall start on it today after I get off work.

[kiltedinUSMC]

Here's another diet to help with the stress of the season:

Breakfast: Two shots of single malt.
Lunch: Three shots of single malt.
Dinner: Four shots of single malt.
Late snack: Egg nog, made with five shots of single malt.

Stress? What stress?

That sound like a Marine's Weekend diet.

[davedove]

Another rule to remember: If the food is eaten at a celebration of any sort, it is a special occasion and the calories don't count.