If Shakespeare said it...

**turpin** · 30th April 07, 08:25 PM

Here is a hilarious menu from which to build Shakespearean insults of monumental quality. Just like ordering at a Chinese restaurant.

Let's keep these in mind when tempers run hot.

**ccga3359** · 30th April 07, 08:29 PM

I trust that this post was not directed at me thou roguish sheep-biting codpiece!

**turpin** · 30th April 07, 08:50 PM

Think what thou wouldst, thou churlish, clay-brained canker-blossom!

**McClef** · 1st May 07, 12:39 AM

Hmm - must practice Thou beslubbering toad-spotted clack-dish!

**Dirk Skene** · 1st May 07, 06:01 AM

I have seen a site like that before

This one had some new ones

**Fearnest** · 1st May 07, 06:26 AM

WHY must we be beset with fobbing hedge-born lewdsters such as these???

**davedove** · 1st May 07, 07:01 AM

This reminds me of a character I saw at a Renaissance Festival. He was a "professional insulter" and would come up with gems like these on behalf of his customers.

**Nick** · 1st May 07, 09:28 AM

Hard to beat the Bard:

"Were I like thee I'd throw away myself"
-Timon of Athens, Act III

"I do desire we may be better strangers."
-As You Like It, Act III

"More of your conversation would infect my brain..."
-Coriolanus, Act II

"Thou clay-brained guts, thou knott-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow-catch."
-Henry IV, Part I, Act II

Fare thee well,
Nick

**thescot** · 1st May 07, 10:03 AM

What pribbling, ill-nurtured clotpole came up with this stuff, anyway?

It soundeth like a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

What is pribbling, anyway?

What is a clotpole?

Since wwe just completed Hamlet in Senior English, my students are full of Shakespearean speech.

Here is a riddle for any of you frothy, fen-sucked flirt-gills:
Q: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?
A: The gallows-maker; for that frame outliv a thousand tenants. (Hamlet, V, 1,40-50)

**Nick** · 1st May 07, 10:10 AM

I like thy wit well, in good faith. The gallows does well; but how does it well? It does well to those that do ill. Now, thou dost ill to say the gallows is built stronger than the church, argal, the gallows may do well to thee. Cudgel thy brains no more about it, Jim, for your dull *** will not mend his pace with beating; and, when you are ask’d this question next, say “a grave-maker”; the houses that he makes lasts till doomsday.