Just something I wanted to share...

[Meggers]

I know the air in this forum is light and happy (at least for me) and I love that about this place. I just wanted to share an article that I read awhile ago that still brings tears to my eyes about the importance of heritage and how the loss of your heritage connection creates a major identity struggle.

I bring this up and this meant so much to be because I can relate to it 100% being a Scot-Irish American Muslim. It wasn't until recently that I was able to fall back in love with my heritage because I am the ONLY Scot-Irish American Muslim that I know (I know other Euro-American Muslims but they dont share my heritage.) At Islamic events, Im the only one not wearing traditional Arab or Pakistani clothing. At school, im still holding on while my other white friends who have converted have so sadly let go of the religion entirely because they aren't able to find their heritage through such an overpoweringly Arab/Desi presence in the religious circle. It's terribly sad that the community of a religion could push someone away without even knowing it.

The main reason why I am so excited to buy my tartan in a skirt and sash is to I can proudly represent MY people in MY religion. It would be nice to say I had the support of the Muslim community or the American community to do this but, sadly, both parties are oblivious to the fact that outcasting someone for either being white or being muslim creates a major identity struggle in the convert. Too many converts let go of their white heritage in order to assimilate themselves into a dominant Muslim culture in order to feel like they can fit in somewhere since their American brethren has now labeled them as something "different" that is a "threat" to American society.

Anyway, read the article and see what it means for you, as it meant so much for me. It's a gift to know where you come from and it's a treasure to be able to be an American-Scot and wear your kilt in your tartan and represent something so old to you and something so precious. Not everyone has that luxury and I can't imagine wanting to know where my roots are but falling short at the slave trade and not being able to go back any further.

Who I Am and How Did I Get Here?

note: I mainly shared this article to see what it means to each of us. The top part was just me sharing MY particular story. My intention of starting this thread was not to create a pity party and certainly not to turn this all about me. I want to hear how others feel about identifying as one thing and also something else. Do you feel like you can't represent both the USA and Scotland? Do you feel like others judge you for identifying as something that doesn't come from these shores? If you are unable to trace your roots back to Scotland or Ireland, how does that make you feel when trying to research tartans or kilts? Do you feel judged when you dont have Scot/Irish heritage yet you wear the kilt?

Just curious if others can relate to this gentleman. I shared my story and Id love to hear from others.

[Peter Crowe]

Meghan, What an interesting question you pose? I will try and offer a few thoughts as a native born and raised Scot who immigrated to the USA at the age of 37 and became a naturalised American (US citizen) at the age of 41. I feel more Scottish (also British, and European) than I do American, however, I don't feel unwelcome or excluded (at least not here in Massachusetts).

I sometimes feel that because I check all the 'right' (by 'right' I mean belonging to the dominant group in society) boxes (white, male, middle class, protestant, university educated) that there is an assumption that I am exactly the same, share the same social, political, moral outlook and world-view of native-born (white caucasian) Americans. However, I often find myself having to avoid conversations on politics or world affairs for the very reason that I don't. This is not because I am anti-American (far from it) but because I see those matters through a different (Scottish, British and European centered) lens, and don't want to get into unnecessary arguments where we each use different idioms, and start from different sets of assumptions about the world and our place in it, thus end up talking past one another.

I also find that there is a lack of esteem where I now live for the past, older people, or anything perceived as lacking in modernity. Not to say you wouldn't find that attitude amongst adolescents in Scotland, but you wouldn't expect to find it so much from as many people aged over 40 as you do here in eastern Massachusetts.

By the way, I value and respect all types of people regardless of their age, sex, gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, or marital status.

I will say that personal identity is complex, and that I believe it is always evolving. Our perception of ourselves changes as we experience more of an ever changing world and life. I am not the same at almost 45, as I was at 37 when I left Scotland. In those eight years I got married, started new employment (more than once), became a father, became a citizen of the USA, discovered I had a hereditary health condition for which I had to undergo major heart surgery, and adapted to new friends and a new environment. I haven't lost sight of where I came from, and it is a fundamental cornerstone of my identity, but my life (and aspects of my identity) has diverged from the paths of my peers who remained back in Scotland. It's kind of like the simplistic explanation of 'Hegelian' or 'Marxist' dialectics where the acorn and the aged oak tree are paradoxically the same but different, or a six year old boy eventually becomes a 60 year old man (essentially the same but very different).

[O'Searcaigh]

Interesting piece Megan, both the article and your own perspective. The "problem of being human" includes both of these conflicting drives: to "belong" and to be "unique." For me the question isn't so much "Who am I and how did I get here" but "Who am I and what am I DOING here?" The first one I have had no control over and am much less responsible for (although many people judge others almost exclusively by it). I didn't have -- nor has anyone else -- any choice about my (their) gender, skin colour, or any other factor of biology or history that determined how, when, and where I (they) would be born. The second is a question of MY choices, attitudes, beliefs and behaviors for which I alone am responsible (and from which I can learn) and out of which I make (and learn) who I am. We all do it, whether we acknowledge it or not, even if our "choice" is to "conform" and "identify" with some particular culture or tradition. Some (way too many) people are threatened by anyone who actually takes responsibility for themselves, their actions, beliefs and choices, but instead want you to conform to theirs. This shows up even in things like men wearing facial hair in times or places where the majority don't (or vice-verse) or even just the choice to wear a kilt, where others don't or where there are those who have very strong ideas ("rules") about where, when, how, and who is "allowed to" [as discussed on other threads here on XMarks]. I can't be responsible for who my parents were or even what they did, let alone my grandparents and ancestors no matter how far back -- and if one goes back far enough, we all ultimately have the same ones anyway! However, I can -- in fact, I can't avoid -- being responsible for my own attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, and their consequences. That is the definition of freedom: one can only be responsible for what one is free to do and anything one is free to do (and does), one is responsible for. Some people "choose" not to be free; others do -- and they find each other threatening (because we find freedom and responsibility threatening?). It doesn't matter when or where or whether its about religion, culture, national heritage or even just how one dresses. Anyone who "dares to be different" by exercising their freedom (and taking responsibility for it) is bound to threaten and be threatened by those who insist on conformity and obedience. The quest for a sense of personal identity (who am I?) is -- always has been and always will be -- a question of both the desires to be unique and to belong. How one reconciles them is how we determine who we are. Thank you for being and becoming you!

[Bugbear]

Ultimately, I accepted that traditional kilts and tartan are not right for me; put differently, I don't belong in that world, and would be better off avoiding it. It seems like I can, at the least, defend wearing the non-traditional, non-tartan kilt I wear every once in a while, as well as, defend calling it a non-traditional "kilt," here on the forum. I am not a Scot, nor am I a cultural historian; I just can't keep up with all of this; feel like a snail on the side of the freeway.

A little different, but I do know how it feels to be drummed out of a church; one I did not have a choice in attending in the first place. I do not have a degree in divinity, and I am not a theologian; I did what I could with the contradicting world views I was handed.

[O'Searcaigh]

... I do know how it feels to be drummed out of a church; one I did not have a choice in attending in the first place. I do not have a degree in divinity, and I am not a theologian; I did what I could with the contradicting world views I was handed.

I sometimes think that the contradictions (real or apparent) are among the best things about religions -- if and only if they make one think! You, Bugbear, obviously have. Good on ya!!!