Life is Precious

[Stitchwiz]

Dear Friends,

I need to talk to each and every one of you. We are a community of friends, and friends watch out for each other and support each other. Friends are also the family we choose for ourselves. And life is precious.

This is not an easy topic to discuss, but it is important. If I am breaking any rules, I'm sure the Moderators will let me know how to solve this. You may want to read this privately before you share it with some one else, particularly if they are young - I read to my husband and grandchildren all the time. It might be easier to print this out to read and keep for future use. You may want to put it down and come back to it.
This is specifically for our gentlemen friends, but all you ladies need to know about it too, we are all in this together. Get a cup of tea or coffee and let’s get started.

Please, start a new tradition for the new year. Book a repeating, annual appointment with your Doctor, for yourself and for your partner. Get a complete checkup, and for all you men, please ask about the PSA blood test. Ask about when it would be appropriate to take it so that you have a benchmark - a point that you can start from. You need to get this test redone regularly for the rest of your life, probably every year. Risk factor determines when you need to get the first test. Men with a high risk factor may need to start as early as age 30, while men with a low risk factor may wait until age 50. If you never have a significant rise in PSA levels, the Doctor may decide to discontinue testing in your senior years.

You may already know all about this test and are being tested, and if that is the case, please skip down to the heading Now I’m going to make one more suggestion.

I was astounded when I found that one of my brothers did not know about the PSA test. It turned out that he was being screened and just didn’t remember or know it. Now he knows all about it. This big sister made sure he is looking after himself - love him dearly, would hate to lose him prematurely.

PSA stands for Prostate-Specific Antigen. It is a protein produced by the prostate gland that is found in the blood. A simple blood test is all that is needed to detect and measure it. The PSA test is used to monitor changes in the quantity of the proteins. An increase in levels indicates that further tests must be done to check for prostate cancer.

There it is. The big ‘C’ word - don't be afraid. Remember, KNOWLEDGE is POWER. Burying your head in the sand won’t make it go away – it will still be there - and growing - if you ignore it.

The PSA test is not the be-all, end-all test. Since the PSA levels increase naturally with age, your Doctor needs knows how much it is changing with each test - this is why you need the benchmark. Unfortunately, this test does not eliminate the need for the digital exam, because it is also a diagnostic tool for other issues. The Doctor doesn’t like it any more than you do.

Just in case you think that it is only men who have to get these uncomfortable exams, please know that you are not alone. Women have to have a PAP test done yearly, starting as soon as full maturity is reached – usually well before the age of 20. This requires a swab of the cervix. The cells from the swab are then screened for abnormal cells that could change into cervical cancer. This test is just as important as the digital exam. And it is just as uncomfortable, and in my opinion, is far more invasive due to the preparation that must be done before the swab can be taken. We all have to take care of ourselves and this is part of it.

You are your own best monitor. Pay attention to your body, it will tell you all kinds of things. You keep records for everything else, keep a medical health journal – we don’t always remember the little things – life happens and we forget ‘stuff’. If you notice any significant changes in any part of your body, write it down with the date and time. Make note of what may affect the changes - i.e.: diet, sleep patterns, how medications influence it, what makes it worse or better, what time of day it happens, etc. Your feelings or mood changes are also very important, particularly if they change dramatically and you don’t know why. (Your family will usually tell you about any unusual/unreasonable changes.) Hormonal changes are usually discovered faster due to mood changes than physical changes. Here is an example of how what we may think is not relevant, can be critical - a cough that produces phlegm may be a ‘smokers cough’, a ‘farmers cough’, an infection in the respiratory tract or it may be indicative of a developing heart problem that could lead to major surgery. The first three things are relatively minor, but the last is major and life changing. You may not think something is important, but document it anyway, it may be nothing but it also might be a crucial clue. Take all your medications, vitamins, supplements, and your journal, with you to the Doctor. A good Doctor is a detective trying to solve problems, and it is up to you, as the patient, to provide as many clues as possible and your records are valuable clues. If you are worried the Doctor will think you are a hypochondriac, give him a copy of this letter and tell him I told you to do it.

Most men will die with a certain amount of a VERY slow growing prostate cancer – note – die with it not from it. And they don’t even know they have it. Rarely, but sometimes, it will change and become a faster growing cancer. When detected early, the prognosis is actually very good. The treatments vary depending on the type and how far along it is. Treatment may not be easy, but it will give you a chance at life afterward. Again, knowledge is power. When you know what you want from/for life, then you can move forward.

Sexuality is core to each of us and is also one of the most personal parts of us. It affects how we see ourselves. This is tough stuff to discuss. You need to talk about it with your Doctor, with your partner present. This is important. Remember, your partner is in it for the long haul with you and can be your best support and cheerleader. Your partner needs to know what is happening with you, at all times, because your partner can speak for you, when you can’t.

You must give yourself the best advocate possible and that is YOU. And after you, it is your partner. Ask questions, be diligent, and live a healthy lifestyle. Make sure that you live, love and, of course, laugh. It sounds cliché, but it is true. It is a fact that we all have to work, but work to LIVE, do not live to WORK. We all need love, and hopefully, our family gives us unconditional love. It has been scientifically proven that laughter is the best medicine. Focus on what is important to you, find the balance, and you will enjoy your life, your family and your friends.

Now I’m going to make one more suggestion:

Everyone needs to have an annual financial check-up, also. Make it part of your tax return filing, and get all the nasty stuff done at once. Use an accountant if you are not good with this stuff – it will be money well spent to have peace of mind. An accountant is a financial detective and he can help you solve your monetary issues.

Check your credit rating. Update your banking information, and make a list all financial accounts/obligations, i.e.: investments, stocks, bonds, credit cards, property, mortgage papers, insurance policies, etc. Check and update your medical and financial Powers of Attorney, your insurance beneficiaries, funeral arrangements and your will. Do not put your funeral arrangements in your will. Be sure to leave any important personal letters to individuals with your papers. Write the name and when you want it opened on the outside of the envelope. If it needs to be opened immediately, do not put it with the will, put it with the funeral paperwork.

Let’s face it, no one leaves this world alive. We need to be responsible for our own death as well as our life. If we can organize our lives now, then the rest will be easier on those we leave behind. Then updating it annually will be easy. When the time is approaching, you will have peace of mind. You don’t want to spend your last hours worrying about the things that you did not do, you want to spend them with your partner sharing the love that you have for each other. Peace and love will be the greatest gift that you can leave.

Make a list of all your online forums, email accounts, social media accounts etc., include your user name and password. Leave instructions about how close all your accounts and how to notify the forum of what has happened. We all care and want to be able to support you and your family in any way we can. That will include being able to celebrate your life and friendship with us on this forum. Some of you have built solid friendships over the years and everyone deserves to know what has happened so that grief is handled properly. This is an important part of life - grieving is normal and we all have to go through it. Give everyone all the help they need to grieve in a healthy way. This is another gift you can give everyone.
Remember all the concerns that were expressed, and know that there were many that weren’t, when Jock Scot was offline. We don’t want to go through that again. Stuff happens, and it was minor this time. If everyone takes care of business, then it will always be minor because we will all know if something serious happens. Our partners will make sure that our friends know what is happening.

Make sure your partner knows where everything is. And your partner needs to do the same for you. Make sure you both have the combination to the safe and keys & permissions signed to access the safety deposit box. It won’t do any good if everything is locked up and un-accessible without a locksmith and/or lawyers getting involved.

Thank you for reading this. It may have made you uncomfortable and I apologize for your discomfort, but all of this is very important. I have done my part. Now it is in your hands.

Knowledge is power. And your attitude is everything.

May you all have a truly Happy Christmas, a Prosperous New Year and may you be blessed always.