For our friends from in the Great White North

[Eujeankilt]

This came from a friend and I thought a few folks her might appreciate these:

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!


Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


Dale

[Missin]

Wow, that doesn't say much for us here in the U.S. does it?
Too funny.

[###KILTEDKIWI###]

I have seen this for Australia as well, looks to be changed regularly...

[sdc]

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

LMAO :-) I thought the hippo races were only here in Ottawa.

[Pleater]

Ow oo owowow!!

My ribs hurt.

Horse with horns - oh my - oh dear - brain eating moose.

Anne the Pleater :ootd:

[The Wizard of BC]

I'm a Docent at The Royal BC Museum. Here are my most notorious questions from visitors.

A American couple had just purchased their tickets and were handed their change.
They talked among themselves for a while then approached me and handed me the Canadian $10.00 bill they had been given and asked me this question.

"We didn't know that we had a woman President. What is her name and when did she serve as President?"



I then had a couple who had just gotten off their cruise ship. Apparently they hopped on the first bus that came along and ended up at the Museum.
They approached me and asked;

"When does the ship arrive in Canada? We brought our cross country skis and were hoping to ski down the streets like we had seen in the pictures."

It was July.

[Big Mikey]

Never mind Weed, California. It sounds as if these people have experienced BC Bud!

[sdc]

I honestly doubt this sort of cluelessness is endemic to any one country; I read an article a while ago that related some of the stooopid questions asked of park rangers in the US, such as "Why did they hold all the Civil War battles in National Parks?"

[The Guy in the Kilt at UC]

Say, what's the entry fee for Canada these days? I've been meaning to go. Are you still open on Sundays?

[MacKay71]

Pretty funny!! Just pass me another Molsen!