Too much coffee

[WeaselMender]

Just for the Wizard of BC
you might have had too much coffee

You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
- Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Weasel :ootd:

[george7]

Just for the Wizard of BC
you might have had too much coffee

You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
- Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Weasel :ootd:

- The first thing you look for in an MRE is the instant coffee.

[Dall_Piobaire]

If you really want to feed that monkey, you gotta try Peet's. It's become an addiction!

[ghostlight]

You might have had too much coffee if you've hand sewn a tank...

...of the M1 Abrams variety.

[The Guy in the Kilt at UC]

-You short out motion detectors
-Your coffee mug has a picture of your coffee mug on it
-You use your teeth to grind your beans


In the doctor’s office, a patient asks for advice,
"Doctor, what should I do?
Every time I come home from work, I see some strange man in bed with my wife. When I start yelling at her, she just locks me in the kitchen and tells me to calm down and drink a cup of coffee. This has been happening every day for the last four months."
The Doctor replies, "So how can I help you?"
"I just want to know - am I drinking too much coffee?"

[The Guy in the Kilt at UC]

-You short out motion detectors
-Your coffee mug has a picture of your coffee mug on it
-You use your teeth to grind your beans


In the doctor’s office, a patient asks for advice,
"Doctor, what should I do?
Every time I come home from work, I see some strange man in bed with my wife. When I start yelling at her, she just locks me in the kitchen and tells me to calm down and drink a cup of coffee. This has been happening every day for the last four months."
The Doctor replies, "So how can I help you?"
"I just want to know - am I drinking too much coffee?"

[Livingston]

you might have had too much coffee if:

You use instant coffee instead of sweet n low

[GMan]

Oh dear, I actually roast my coffee beans.

[JolyStNicholas]

Well done one and all.

[Old Hippie]

Oh dear, I actually roast my coffee beans.

Hopeless.

I've actually grown, harvested, fermented, dried, roasted, ground, and cupped my own coffee.

:ootd: