Your Best Kilt Story

**DrumMayer** · 6th July 10, 11:49 PM

I herewith post my best(?) "kilt story" as an introduction, and invitation to hear your best tales, newbies or not.

In the latter decade of the 20th century, I played with the City of McPherson (Kansas) Pipe Band. We occasionally competed at an Oklahoma games---Tulsa, maybe? On one such occasion, I traveled alone to the games with the idea of meeting the band there. Got checked in, found my upper-floor room and dropped my gear. Still not in uniform--that is, in jeans--I headed to the elevator to go down to the hotel restaurant.

When the lift opened, a couple from a neighboring small town in Kansas were aboard, also headed down for dinner. You could describe them as "fans" of the band, and very good acquaintances. The gentleman recognized me instantly, and I him, and we immediately took up the chit-chat. I tried to make eye contact with the lady as we spoke, to include her in the conversation, and it was clear she couldn't place me. Her husband saw this as well, and gave her my name saying, "You remember, he plays with the City of McPherson Pipe Band."

Realization dawned on her face, and without hesitation or hindrance she exclaimed, "Oh, of course! I didn't recognize you with your pants on!"

Normally, I'm not one to let that sort of thing go, but I did feel compelled to explain to the OTHER woman in the lift with us exactly what was meant...

**BoldHighlander** · 7th July 10, 12:41 AM

...from the far nw corner of Washington state!

...off the top of my head I can't think of a kilt story, but if one comes to mind I'll share it with you then.

**Chas** · 7th July 10, 01:27 AM

Hello DrumMayer,

Welcome to XMarks from the other side of the Atlantic in Norfolk, England.

Regards

Chas

**BLHS209** · 7th July 10, 05:08 AM

From "upstate" NY, welcome to the "X"!!

**Riverkilt** · 7th July 10, 07:06 AM

Not sure where you hail from, but welcome.

My favorite "family friendly" kilt story remains the panhandling drunk in the parking lot of a supermarket in Albuquerque. When he saw me kilted he headed my way shouting, "Hey Switzerland!"

**GunnHighlander** · 7th July 10, 08:16 AM

I was at a Celtic festival/wine tasting, with Bydand and his lovely wife last summer. After a full day of sampling wine, beer, and various samples of private stock in the hot sun, we stumbled toward home. We stopped to grab a bite to eat, and have a little fun at a local pub/eatery. Bydand and I went outside to have a puff, and down the road comes a person who somewhat resembled a female, tho it was really hard to tell. Now Bydand says, now there's a woman.......Looking to and fro, I said where?? This person looked like they hadn't showered in weeks, beaten unmerciful with an ugly stick, and hit by a bus or two, started head long over to us. As she approached, I saw that she had a beautiful set of tooth. One eye was so beautiful that the other kept looking at it. She had beautiful black hair halfway down her back, tho she didn't have a hair on her head. Her leg was so long and slender. It was hard to take one's eyes of the curves....of her spine. You get the picture........Anyhow, she came over to us well sauced up, raunchy, rowdy Scots and asked for a cigarette. We looked at each other in horror and bewilderment as she eyed us both up. I, figuring the gesture would send her on her way, and I gave her a smoke. For the next ten minutes, she proceeded to tell us her life story, how she just got out of the nut house, and that her GIRLFRIEND left her and she was on her own now with no where to live, etc. All at once, she stopped, looked at me with the one straight eye and says......"You are one handsome man"! To which I replied......"Thanks.....So are you"! She actually said "Thanks"! Bydand and I kept our faces straight as we could, tho we were laughing our collective tookasses off inside. She bobbled away, and we busted out laughing, and about a block and a half away, she turned around and chuckled loudly......AHH, I GET IT NOW! GOOD ONE!

**Mike_Oettle** · 7th July 10, 12:16 PM

Hi, DrumMayer, and welcome to XTMS from the bottom end of Africa.
That is a first-class kilt story (or no-kilt story!).
I will have to tell it along with my other kilt jokes (most of them learned in the regiment).
And JT, that is one weird story you told!
Regards,
Mike

**Dr Mac** · 8th July 10, 08:21 AM

from Bryan/College Station!

**mrtackytn** · 8th July 10, 10:17 AM

GREAT Story !! I used to get that a lot when still in law enforcement uniform. People would see me away from work (especially ladies) and say, "I didn't recognize you with
your clothes (civvies) on!" Welcome to X-Marks - from Music City - Nashville, TN !!