Birthday wishes for February 18th!!!

[Arlen]

A very big and sincere Xmarks happy birthday goes out to Vince, Retro Red, Trela and IrishGodfather !!!

Have a wonderful day one and all.

[Bugbear]

Happy Birthday!

[meinfs]

to my fellow aquarians.

[Sionnach]

Happy birthday to all! I raise a toast to you, and myself for it is also my birthday. May your days have been one of great celebration.

[pastorsteve]

Happy Birthday all. Shalom

[Panache]

Many Happy returns to All

RR

You are in my thoughts and I hope you are OK with the job situation and all.

As a birthday gift I give you free reign to post one truly horrible, terrible, and generally awful pun!

And I promise that I will not groan!

Happy Birthday!

Cheers

Jamie

[Retro Red]

RR

As a birthday gift I give you free reign to post one truly horrible, terrible, and generally awful pun!

And I promise that I will not groan!

Happy Birthday!

Cheers

Jamie

Oooooo, I can't pass up a chance like that! Well, I just turned 53, so how about a pun for each year???!!!

1. Why can’t a bicycle stand alone? It’s two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
6. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.
7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen floor in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
16. A calendar’s days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. What do you call a short fortuneteller who escapes from prison? A small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a bridge in Paris, you are in Seine .
25. When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. A criminal’s best asset is his lie ability.
31. What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
32. Police were called to a daycare center where a 3-year old was resisting a rest.
33. There once was a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.
34. A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period because it marks the end of his sentence.
35. Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
36. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
37. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
38. A magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
39. When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
40. Why was the rubber band gun confiscated from algebra class? Because it was a weapon of math disruption.
41. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
42. To some, marriage is a word; to others it’s a sentence.
43. It was an emotional wedding; even the cake was in tiers.
44. Opening a new funeral parlor can be quite an undertaking.
45. A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
46. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it was only an optical Aleutian.
47. Alcohol and calculus don’t mix, so don’t drink and derive.
48. They tried to save him with an I.V., but it was all in vein.
49. Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
50. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents!
51. Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.
52. Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
53. A bad pun is its own reword.

And one to grow a pun…

 Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

Thanks, Jamie!
.

[Galician]

Belated best wishes to one and all!

[fudgeman]

to all.