Officiating a wedding...?

[Taffy Jack]

Salutations, Rabbble!

I've been asked by a dear friend to officiate his wedding to another dear friend. They're both in their early fifties and while they've not led sheltered lives, this is the first marriage for each. It will also be (gulp!) my first time solemnizing a union.

I know that Father Bill (and doubtless other participants) have wisdom to offer on the provision of a service to these fine people, and that would be welcome. I've been busily credentialing myself in various ways so that doesn't slide off the table, and have had a couple of meetings with them to start working out how they'd like to proceed (an intersection of Methodism, Judaism, and paganism is desired -- more research required!).

My main question to the Rabble, of course, is on both the cruder and finer points of dress for yours truly. Kilts are the uniform of the day. No further spec is included on their invitations to family, but my buddy has asked that I wear decorations.

The wedding is outdoors, of an evening.

So that's a couple of criteria.

Of course, this'll be my first kilt experience. The Lewis of Wales "cilt" tartan represents my family name, is pretty dang sharp, and picks up colors close to my buddy's beloved Seahawks. However, I'm informed by Steve that the weave on Cardiff-loomed wool is too loose to build a durable kilt. Ergo, I'm going with the U.S. army tartan and relying on Rocky for a fast build out of Pennsylvania, after having dithered too long following a nasty accident last summer.

Naturally, I'll want to have this sartorial investment usable at other formal venues, such as charity banquets.

Whew! Too much info for clarity...

Here's my basic plan, presented here for editing as appropriate:

Kilt with no belt, P.C., and vest. Pretty Wife doesn't prefer the Argylle look (vest opening too high, in her view) and thinks the P.C. is wicked sharp. I prefer to incline to her tastes there.

Furless, formal sporran (black leather with white metal).

Miniature medals on the left lapel.

P.W. also likes the fly plaid. I've nixed that, but remain amenable to suggestions.

No headgear.

Bottle green or blue hose -- my lower legs are a bit chewed up, and Pretty Wife is pretty certain I'll "print" noticeably through white or cream hose.

Red flashes (bride's color, plus I was a redleg way back before I was, er... intel, infantry, and psyop with the cavalry).

Polished jump boots in place of brogues.

I have a nice, modestly sized sloyd knife in a leather holster that I'd like to wear as a sgian dubh. It's not very fancy with its painted birch handle, but I suppose I could mount a pretty stone to the pommel.

Important factors here for me are the couple's preferences, tradition, P.W.'s preferences, and (to some limited degree) practicality and flexibility.

I'm probably missing things, but I'd like to sit back and listen now (i.e. heading for a seamstress friend's house to get properly measured). Thanks for any useful input.

Cheers,

Jack

[Lady Grey]

I think it all sounds lovely.
The Couple & P.W's needs/wants are met.
It's not a formal church service so there are no do's & don'ts that have to be observed.

Have a great time and please post pictures.

[Father Bill]

Thanks for including me in your thoughts. I'm honoured, and yes I have a bit of experience with weddings, including mixing with kilts, however my discipline is to be faithful to the traditions of the church, and again, to the traditions of highland wear.

Since this is not a church service, I can make no comment on your choices; they're simply... choices. It appears that among them you've chosen some non-traditional items to add to the mix. Again, they're just your choices and therefore can neither be wrong nor right since they don't follow established patterns.

I wish you well on this venture along with your friends. I'm sure that you'll work something out to meet their wishes and have a happy occasion. Congratulations to all!

[derosa]

Make sure the couple and the witnesses are sober, they're signing a legal contract and it is one of the requirements that should be observed. Dress your best to the satisfaction of the couple and your wife and have enjoy.

[MacRobert's Reply]

Interesting range of questions Taffy Jack.

Like Father Bill, I have conducted more than a few weddings but they have all been explicitly Christian. Certainly combining Jewish and Christian elements should not be difficult given the substantial use of the Torah (Old Testament) in Christian wedding liturgies. Song of Songs (Solomon) has some great passages that work for both Jews and Christians. I have no idea how paganism can be included.

Make certain that all legal requirements are met.

If the wedding is in the evening then a PC should be fine and avoiding white hose is a good idea IMHO. Coloured hose with red flashes sounds good. A sgian is optional and fly plaids just tend to be cumbersome and have largely fallen out of use on this side of the pond.

Best wishes to the bride and groom!

[Jock Scot]

I note that you are intending to wear your miniature medals. I do also note with interest that your friend had asked you to wear them. May I ask purely out of interest as it does seem a little odd so to do, to many of us over here. Does the intended wedding have a military theme?

[Manu]

You definitely put together an unorthodox ensemble! I myself can't picture it all together, so I look forward to seeing pictures. I personally would switch the PC for Argyll and leave the fly plaid off. Whatever you guys choose, let it be what makes the day a perfect one for you and your friends. Cheers!

[Manu]

I note that you are intending to wear your miniature medals. I do also note with interest that your friend had asked you to wear them. May I ask purely out of interest as it does seem a little odd so to do, to many of us over here. Does the intended wedding have a military theme?

US vets are authorized by regulation to display medals in formal civilian attire during formal occasions of ceremony and military functions. While it is more common to see them at military balls, some vets opt to show some bling in other ceremonial events as well.

[MacRobert's Reply]

One further thought ...really a question. Why the jump boots? Is this because it will be an outdoor wedding in rough terrain? Otherwise the combination of evening wear with boots sounds a bit incongruous.

Serendipitously, I was asked to conduct an outdoor wedding just last week, by a loch side in Argyle in the spring. I expect this will be kilts and tweeds.

[McMurdo]

One further thought ...really a question. Why the jump boots? Is this because it will be an outdoor wedding in rough terrain? Otherwise the combination of evening wear with boots sounds a bit incongruous.

I was thinking the very same thing, if it were me especially with the PC I would go with brogues, highly polished of course.