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10th March 11, 04:56 PM
#1
coffee psalm
Coffee psalm: Coffee is my shepherd; I shall not doze. It maketh me to wake in green pastures. It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses. It restoreth my brain. It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for it's namesake. Yea, though I walk through the... valley of the shadow of sleep, I will fear no artificial sweetener for thou art with me; Thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me. Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of my zzz's, Thou anointest my day with sunlight; My cup runneth over. Surely richness and flavor shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of Cappuccino forever... let us sip....or whatever...
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10th March 11, 05:03 PM
#2
I'd recite that every morning before my first cup...if I was able to do more than grunt and shuffle to the kitchen before that first cup.
The grass is greener on the other side of the fence...and it's usually greenest right above the septic tank.
Allen
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10th March 11, 06:39 PM
#3
I'll have a double skinny mocha vodka valium latte, to go please
Humor, is chaos; remembered in tranquillity- James Thurber
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10th March 11, 07:51 PM
#4
Joe, like good scotch should always be drank "neat".
His Exalted Highness Duke Standard the Pertinacious of Chalmondley by St Peasoup
Member Order of the Dandelion
Per Electum - Non consanguinitam
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10th March 11, 10:56 PM
#5
"I like my coffee like I like my women. Cold and bitter."
Survivor
Ia! Ia! Kiltulu fhtagn!
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10th March 11, 11:01 PM
#6
 Originally Posted by Hocfutue
"I like my coffee like I like my women. Cold and bitter." 
You must be dating my ex-wife.
The grass is greener on the other side of the fence...and it's usually greenest right above the septic tank.
Allen
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11th March 11, 06:44 AM
#7
I really do like coffee. A lot. I spent a lot of time in the middle east and several cultures have a habit of chewing coffee beans. I got hooked and the dentist says that's the primary reason my tooth enamel is suffering. And I cracked two molars chewing them.
I wish I believed in reincarnation. Where's Charles Martel when you need him?
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11th March 11, 12:53 PM
#8
 Originally Posted by Tartan Tess
I'll have a double skinny mocha vodka valium latte, to go please
Ooo, does it come in decaf? D@#ned Lent...
elim
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18th March 11, 01:24 PM
#9
My neighbours think I'm a coffee snob because I roast my own. Have since the penurious days of graduate school, when I could either buy cheap coffee that tasted like hog snot or I could buy quality green beans at a 50% discount from roasted, and do my own.
The best coffee outlet on campus is the one where they serve a nice dark brewed and don't give me that look when I say, "Dark brewed, please." At some places I have terminally confused coffee servers whose ears don't hear an order shorter than "Double Tall Half-Caf Skinny Dry Soy Americano, two shots of Hazelnut and one Chocolate." 
I go there every day to collect part of the approximately 200 pounds of coffee grounds we toss in the compost pile every day -- only about three times a semester am I actually there to buy the stuff!
From my coffee mug: "Coffeekeepsyougoingandgivesyouextraenergyforafewe xtrahoursordays."
:ootd:
Dr. Charles A. Hays
The Kilted Perfesser
Laird in Residence, Blathering-at-the-Lectern
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18th March 11, 01:52 PM
#10
This thread is dangerously close to religion and politics! I often stop by our local roaster to receive communion. 
Unlike some above, I prefer my coffee (and women) hot with a nice roasty sweetness. Clean, fresh, organic, fair trade, worth every penny invested. Oh, that applies to the coffee, too.
EPITAPH: Decades from now, no one will know what my bank balance looked like, it won't matter to anyone what kind of car I drove, nor will anyone care what sort of house I lived in. But the world will be a different place, because I did something so mind bafflingly eccentric that my ruins have become a tourist attraction.
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