X Marks the Scot - An on-line community of kilt wearers.

   X Marks Partners - (Go to the Partners Dedicated Forums )
USA Kilts website Celtic Croft website Celtic Corner website Houston Kiltmakers

User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. 4th September 09, 11:17 PM #1
    Nighthawk's Avatar
    Nighthawk is offline
    Join Date
    2nd October 07
    Location
    Denver, Colorado- a mile high, baby!
    Posts
    6,147
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Great whiskey, bad jokes!

    What do you call a woman with one leg?
    - Ilene

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?
    - Matt

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
    - Bob

    What wears a fur coat and pants?

    - A dog

    What has 4 legs and no ears?

    - Mike Tyson's dog

    Those, along with a few drams of Highland Park and an Indiana Jones flick, make for a good Friday evening.
    "Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
  2. 5th September 09, 04:45 AM #2
    JolyStNicholas's Avatar
    JolyStNicholas is offline Inactive
    Join Date
    19th March 09
    Location
    Astatula Florida
    Posts
    2,225
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)


    Brought a smile to me face on this early morn!
    I don't believe the idea is to arrive in heaven in a well preserved body! But to slide in side ways,Kilt A' Fly'n! Scream'en "Mon Wha A Ride" Kilted Santas
    4th Laird of Lochaber, Knights of St Andrew,Knight of The Double Eagle
    Clan Seton,House of Gordon,Clan Claus,Semper Fedilas
  3. 5th September 09, 03:42 PM #3
    Nighthawk's Avatar
    Nighthawk is offline
    Join Date
    2nd October 07
    Location
    Denver, Colorado- a mile high, baby!
    Posts
    6,147
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by JolyStNicholas View Post


    Brought a smile to me face on this early morn!
    What's green, furry, has 4 legs, and will kill you if it drops out of a tree on you?

    - A pool table.
    "Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
  4. 5th September 09, 06:10 PM #4
    Big Mikey's Avatar
    Big Mikey is offline Registered Hobbyist
    Join Date
    30th June 06
    Location
    Lotusland, Canada
    Posts
    1,687
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    What's red and white on the outside and grey on the inside?

    Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
    Gentleman of Substance
  5. 5th September 09, 10:03 PM #5
    Nighthawk's Avatar
    Nighthawk is offline
    Join Date
    2nd October 07
    Location
    Denver, Colorado- a mile high, baby!
    Posts
    6,147
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Big Mikey View Post
    What's red and white on the outside and grey on the inside?

    Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
    That's disgusting!! I love it!
    "Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
  6. 6th September 09, 06:33 AM #6
    BEEDEE's Avatar
    BEEDEE is offline
    Retired Forum Moderator Chairman
    Join Date
    8th January 07
    Location
    Tinopai, New Zealand
    Posts
    4,927
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Nighthawk View Post
    What do you call a woman with one leg?
    - Ilene
    And where does she work?

    IHOP!

    Brian

    In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
  7. 6th September 09, 09:39 PM #7
    Nighthawk's Avatar
    Nighthawk is offline
    Join Date
    2nd October 07
    Location
    Denver, Colorado- a mile high, baby!
    Posts
    6,147
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by BEEDEE View Post
    And where does she work?

    IHOP!

    Brian
    Excellent!
    "Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
  8. 6th September 09, 09:55 PM #8
    MacKay71's Avatar
    MacKay71 is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
    Join Date
    12th March 08
    Location
    Jonesboro, Georgia
    Posts
    886
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Arrrg!
    Scott D McKay

    * The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits *
  9. 6th September 09, 10:15 PM #9
    bigdad1 is offline Dormant Member
    Join Date
    19th May 08
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    644
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    What wears green contacts and hides in trees?
    Elephants?
    Ever seen an elephant in a tree?
    Works huh.
  10. 7th September 09, 04:53 AM #10
    Bugbear's Avatar
    Bugbear is offline
    Join Date
    22nd November 07
    Location
    US
    Posts
    11,355
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by bigdad1 View Post
    What wears green contacts and hides in trees?
    Elephants?
    Ever seen an elephant in a tree?
    Works huh.


    Actually, yes. It was a topiary.
    I tried to ask my inner curmudgeon before posting, but he sprayed me with the garden hose…
    Yes, I have squirrels in my brain…
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. Kilt Jokes anyone!?
    By Kilt_Noob in forum General Kilt Talk
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 15th April 09, 07:37 PM
  2. Kilt(ish) jokes
    By longshadows in forum Miscellaneous Forum
    Replies: 80
    Last Post: 13th November 07, 10:50 AM
  3. Redhead jokes
    By Red Lioness in forum Miscellaneous Forum
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 26th December 06, 10:59 AM
  4. Why We Forward Jokes
    By Ruanaidh in forum Miscellaneous Forum
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 7th September 06, 12:08 PM
  5. Bagpipe Jokes.
    By Southern Breeze in forum Miscellaneous Forum
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 14th November 05, 09:06 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules

» Log in

User Name:

Password:

Not a member yet?
Register Now!

» XMarks Advertisers

Barb Tewksbury website
Renaissance Leather website
Xmarks advertising information
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.0