Home Remidies

[Inchessi]

You may have seen these before, but they are solid proven remedies.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

[LANCER1562]

Remedies #6 & #7 sound like they belong on a list of Murphy's Laws.

[ForresterModern]

I have heard number 6 as Wd40 and Superglue, also.

And where I come from we call a hammer a "persuader" aka "fine adjustment tool".

[GreenDragon]

Everything I ever needed to learn about Duct Tape, I learned from MacGyver.

[jkane]

Sounds like something from the Red Green show.

"I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."

[McFarkus]

Thanks!! I got quite a few chuckles from the list.

[piperdbh]

Most accidents occur within 5 miles of home. I think I'll move!

[unaspenser]

These crack me up! Thanks for sharing.

jkane, glad to meet another Red Green fan! He was in Boise last weekend and I missed him!

[Old Hippie]

Heh, heh...

If you can't fix it with a hammer, get out the "BFH."

Works for me.