Marrage After Widowed

[Inchessi]

A friend of mine sent this and I thought I would share it.

Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?'

HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!'

WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'

HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.'

WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?'

HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'

WIFE: 'You would? (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'

HUSBAND: 'Sure. It's a great house.'

WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'

HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'

WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'

HUSBAND: 'Probably. It is almost new.'

WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'

HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'

WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'

HUSBAND: 'No. I'm sure she'd want her own.'

WIFE: 'Would you take her golfing with you?'

HUSBAND: 'Yes. Those are always good times.'

WIFE: 'Would she use my clubs?'

HUSBAND: 'No. She's left-handed..'

WIFE: - silence -

HUSBAND: ' . . . $h*t.'

[piperdbh]

The next morning the recently maimed man crawls out of bed, drags himself across the floor and, with all his remaining strength, reaches up toward the counter where his soon-to-be-widowed wife has just placed a plate of cookies. When one of the fresh-baked goodies is almost in his grasp, his wife smacks his hand and says, "Those are for after the funeral!"