Military Wisdom

[Southern Breeze]

Wit and wisdom from the military
manuals and flight records

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit. — Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance

Aim towards the enemy. — Instruction printed on U.S. rocket launcher

When the pin is pulled Mr. Grenade is not our friend. — U.S. Marine Corps

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. — U.S. Air Force Manual

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons. — General MacArthur

Five-second fuses only last three seconds. — Infantry Journal

If your attack is going too well, you’re walking into an ambush. —Infantry Journal

No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection. —Joe Gay

Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once. — Unknown

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: “Why is it doing that?”, “Where are we?” and “Oh S...!”

Airspeed, altitude, and brains. Two are always needed to complete the flight successfully.

If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.

Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees, and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

[Jock Scot]

"Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms."

"The plan is-------that after the first shot there is no plan!"

"Hurry up and wait!" again and again and again and again and again and ----------again.

"There is the right way of doing things and the wrong way and then there is the Royal Navy's way".

Seen at a barracks, a large official slogan:-
"Sweat saves blood!" and underneath some one had written:-
"Brains saves both"

[Mike_Oettle]

Too true, Jock! And you have first-hand experience.
Regards,
Mike

[nloken]

From what is known as UD2-1, the "Bible" of safety regulations in the Norwegian Armed Forces (liberally translated by your truly); "In the event of falling over whilst riding a bicycle, you must always fall in a controlled manner to your right while clearly yelling "Help, I'm falling" three times."

I kid you not, ladies and gentlemen, I have held the book and read the words myself!

[Whidbey78]

One of my Chiefs used to throw some good nuggets of wisdom at us:
"Don't question command policies. It will just give you a headache."
"Figure out what the most logical, efficient and effective course of action would be. Then do the opposite."
"If it makes sense it's not the Navy way."
"I expect 110% effort from every one of you every time you walk through that door. That's how I'm going to make Senior Chief!"

[Lallans]

How about "Fools Rush In While Survivors Watch"?

[sydnie7]

From what is known as UD2-1, the "Bible" of safety regulations in the Norwegian Armed Forces (liberally translated by your truly); "In the event of falling over whilst riding a bicycle, you must always fall in a controlled manner to your right while clearly yelling "Help, I'm falling" three times."

I kid you not, ladies and gentlemen, I have held the book and read the words myself!

Not the military, but it reminded me of what my niece related after a very short stint working a summer job at Sea World. If you were walking across the snack bar kitchen area holding a knife, you had to continually announce "I have a knife!" as long as you were in motion

[Spartan Tartan]

Thanks for some subtle reminders

[robbiethepiper]

Law in the British Army is written down in "Qeen's Regulations" which list all the offences a poor squaddie might commit. Offence No. 69(???... it was a long time ago...) is "Conduct prejudicial to the good order of military discipline". Nobody is quite sure what this really means, but it's the one they get you for if they can't prove any other offence. If they can prove another offence, they add that one as well, just to make it sound worse!

[CelticSire]

Tracers work both ways.

If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in the combat zone.

It's a bayonet. The pointy end goes in the other guy.