I love music and musician jokes. I think they're hilarious. Please feel free to contribute.

(Everything except the one where a man walks into a bar and pulls a tiny man and a piano out of his pocket... )

Q. What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

A. About $40,0000 a year.


Q. How can you tell the stage is level?

A. The drummer is drooling from BOTH sides of his mouth.


Q. What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?

A. Vibrato (Though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still).

Once upon a time, there was a blind rabbit and blind snake, both living in the same neighborhood. One beautiful day, the blind rabbit was hopping happily down the path toward his home, when he bumped into someone. Apologizing profusely he explained, "I am blind, and didn't see you there." "Perfectly all right," said the snake, "because I am blind, too, and did not see to step out of your way." A conversation followed, gradually becoming more intimate, and finally the snake said, "This is the best conversation I have had with anyone for a long time. Would you mind if I felt you to see what you are like?" "Why, no," said the rabbit. "Go right ahead." So the snake wrapped himself around the rabbit and shuffled and snuggled his coils, and said, "MMMM! You're soft and warm and fuzzy and cuddly...and those ears! You must be a rabbit." "Why, that's right!" said the rabbit. "May I feel you?" "Go right ahead." said the snake, stretching himself out full length on the path. The rabbit began to stroke the snake's body with his paws, then drew back in disgust. "Yuck!" he said. "You're cold...and slimy... you must be a conductor!"