The Obituary Notice

[jgcunningham]

A very popular Scotsman dies in Glasgow and his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once so she goes to the newspaper and says, "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"

The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"

The old woman replies "£5" to which the man says, "You wont get many words for that, fur tis a £1 a word" so the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads "Peter Reid, fae Parkheid, deid"

He feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and informs the old woman that she can have 4 more words for free. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hand the paper over the counter again. The man then reads "Peter Reid, fae Parkheid deid. Ford Escort for sale"

[SteveB]

I have heard this one with bagpipes instead of the car.

Slainte

[JolyStNicholas]

Very cool, and very funny

[Santa Kona]

Nice.

[McClef]

There's a similar one with a Yorkshire twist.

A lady died and her husband asked the stone mason to put under her name:

"She was Thine."

When the headstone was delivered it instead bore the words:

"She was Thin."

Exasperated, her husband phoned the stone mason and told him he had missed out an "E" and to collect it and correct it.

The stone mason duly collected the headstone and brought it back the next day.

Certainly he had added an "E" but in the wrong place...

It now read "E, she was Thin."

[O'Callaghan]

There's a similar one with a Yorkshire twist.

A lady died and her husband asked the stone mason to put under her name:

"She was Thine."

When the headstone was delivered it instead bore the words:

"She was Thin."

Exasperated, her husband phoned the stone mason and told him he had missed out an "E" and to collect it and correct it.

The stone mason duly collected the headstone and brought it back the next day.

Certainly he had added an "E" but in the wrong place...

It now read "E, she was Thin."

I wonder if the Americans will get this one. To help them understand it, a popular Yorkshire exclamation is "E by gum", which means something like "well, I'm d*mn*d". "E" is something like "wow'. Perhaps more likely written with two letter "e"s though?

They might be more likely to say something like "by heck, she were thin", but then that doesn't fit in the joke.

[nehmah]

[QUOTE=O'Callaghan;791010]I wonder if the Americans will get this one.

Well, I figured "E" was equivalent to "Oi" as in the line from "The Commitments",
"Oi, Ginger," to a drummer trying out a kit in her pawnshop window. I may be a tad off.
Cordially, Nehmah