One Liners

[Southern Breeze]

1. After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
2. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. Why do irons have a setting for permanent press?
5. How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
6. How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
7. How young can you die of old age?
8. Can you be arrested for selling illegal-sized paper?
9. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
10. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
11. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
12. If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?

[MNlad]

Why is it you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If necessity is the mother of invention, who is the father?
If America has free elections, why do politicians spend $millions trying to buy our votes?

[Tobus]

If "con" is the opposite of "pro", then what's the opposite of Congress?

[MizzouScotsman]

If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from?
Why is a package that goes by ship called cargo or a package that goes by car called a shipment?
If convenience stores are open 24 hours, why do they have locks on the doors?

[Bill aka Mole]

Other things are said to be, "As clear as glass." Who knew that glass was going to be clear?
Since all words are made up, does inebriation count as learning a new language?
How high is up?

[ForresterModern]

If necessity is the mother of invention, who is the father?

I have always had the answer to this one-----Laziness. Think about it---how many inventions were devised to make completing a job easier on the guy having to do it. How many were made for other reasons?

[Iain Robb]

If stealing is wrong, why is ironing OK?

[piperdbh]

If we're here to help others, what are the others here for?
If you have 12 odds and ends on a table, and one falls off, was it an odd or an end?
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, who cuts up the firewood?

[Geoff Withnell]

Provided by my wife Michele:

If a man says something in a forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

[Really a McQueen]

Provided by my wife Michele:

If a man says something in a forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

Even I know the answer to that one. And I'm not married. :o