From the pipe major

[Dileasgubas]

What is the difference between onions and bagpipes?

--- Everyone cries when you cut up onions.

Experience has taught me that pipers know most of the jokes.

[KD Burke]

Playing pipes is like throwing a javelin blindfolded. You don't have to be very good to get a lot of attention!

[Lake Mist]

That would be on my chanter. Heads turn, women gasp, and small babies cry.