Poetic Gems of McGonagall

[Lallans]

Poetic Gems Selected From The Works Of William McGonagall, Poet and Tragedian- how to describe this work using mere English? Well, I can't. But here is a tribute:

Born in Ireland and moved to Dundee
He composed very much poetry and with no thought for fee
And wrote that a lot using many a plot
And real estate and some other things, happening or not.

And of him the Magazine Punch one said
He was "the greatest... Verse writer of his Age!"
Because he wrote from his head or sleeping, p'raps lying in bed
And his poems, they were lengthy and manly and sage.

And I weep to read of the peas
That were thrown at him by rude publicans
When he first read his poems aloud and publicly
For as I said he asked for no fees
But wrote for honour and art, not for peas or for publicans.

So! I cry out most loudly not with distain, but to say and proclaim
That this book and his others are well worth the price
That in them you will find much good and no vice
And that reading them aloud in your home, will remove all your mice.

For his ear was not of flesh but of unmelted gold
And that most solid and unbending to mere
Meaning or rhyming or sense for as was fore here told
He was no mere mortal, McGonigal, that once stood quite near
To where other poets lived and trembled in fear of his ear.

[Macman]

Great stuff! His poem on the Tay Bridge disaster is, well, indescribable!

[McClef]

Maybe we need McGonagall Suppers!

[BEEDEE]

Our local Scottish Heritage Society used to have McGonagall readings at the St Andrews Ceilidh.

Brian

[Macman]

Maybe we need McGonagall Suppers!

A little bit of McGonagall goes a long way; it reminds me of Vogon poetry!

[O'Callaghan]

But Canuck's poem is too good. It falls far short of the true awfulness of McGonagall.

[McClef]

But that's the whole point of William Topaz's verse - it's so awful it's good!

[Lallans]

But Canuck's poem is too good. It falls far short of the true awfulness of McGonagall.

See, that's the thing- any coof [favorite Burns word] can write bad poetry but McGonagall had that spark of genius that eludes ordinary mortals: a regular person can no more fully imitate him than they could Shakespear or Burns. Mind you, the McGonagall genius was to regular poetic genius what anti-matter is to matter- he was if you will the Bizarro World version of Walter Scott, who I tend to think was the poet that most influenced him (sorry Sir Walter).

Anyway, it seems unfitting that McGonagall does not speak for himself here, so I am attaching the thundering conclusion to his above-named epic poem "The Tay Bridge Disaster":

"... I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
That your central girders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed."

Genius, I say, genius!

[Tony]

A little bit of McGonagall goes a long way; it reminds me of Vogon poetry!

In Pratchett's Discworld, the Nac Mac Feegle take to war with a Gonnagle, a battle poet with poems so bad it strikes fear into the heart of the enemy. Coupled with the mousepipes, the oppostion has nae chance.