Found this article online, thought it was interesting and wandered if any of us have had this happen to them? Mods: Sorry if its in the wrong area, feel free to move it.



School Officials Ban Kilt at Prom Because It's "not Normal"


By Piper Weiss, Shine Staff | Parenting – Thu, Mar 29, 2012 6:30 PM EDT
At 19, William Carruba is old enough to serve in the army and vote. But according to his school administration, he's still not allowed to dress himself for prom.


Carubba, who's of Scottish descent, was planning to don a kilt with his family's tartan, instead of a standard old tuxedo on his big night out, according to the St. Louis Post Dispatch. Even his date was excited about his outfit. (She has a crush on fellow Scotsman Gerard Butler).


But when the school board for Carruba's Missouri high school got wind of his plan, hub-bub ensued.
"It's not what we call normal wear," his school superintendent said at special meeting addressing the great kilt conundrum. "We must adhere to our [dress] policy, to do otherwise would be reckless on our part."


A kilt with a family crest is reckless but a tux with blue ruffles isn't? Explain that logic.


It's assumed that "recklessness" is code for cross-dressing , after comments were made about how "men should dress like men" for the prom.


While progress has been made in the past few years, prom brings out the worst in school officials. All the tolerance and anti-bullying messages go out the window, when one night a year, school leaders ban same-sex dates and thwart transgender or non-conformist kids from just being who they are.


The top-down mandates breed student cruelty too, as evidenced by Constance McMillan , shut out of both her high school prom, and later, her grade's "private" prom , simply because she wanted to bring her girlfriend as a date. It's up to officials to set the precedent of tolerance in a school, and when they don't it's even harder for kids to accept each other.


But this generation of high schoolers are already more tolerant than those who came before them. It was students who elected the country's first ever transgender prom queen last year. And students who supported the high school senior who fought for the right to wear a tux to her prom.


In Carruba's case, he had the backing of several fellow students and his date when he challenged school officials for the right to wear his kilt.


He made a great case too: "One of my great-grandfathers came to this country in the 1700s for freedom," Carubba said. "Saying I can't wear my kilt ... is a pronouncement that I cannot honor my family."


Still, the school board was unmoved, and backed up their decision to ban his kilt with the world's most infuriating reason: "attending the prom is a privilege, not a right."


When it was all over, Carruba said he understood "full-heartedly" and apologized for any fuss that was made over the issue. He added simply, "I'll just wear pants."

Racist school board!

Typical of small minded people everywhere...if you're just a little bit 'different'...

Post deleted.

You can't legislate common sense (or intelligence) when the societal norm is to make a rule for everything and follow it blindly. This kind of un-thinking thinking blows my brain!

And it is surprisingly NOT unusual. In my years as a forum member I recall probably one case per year that we have heard about similar circumstances. Sometimes it involves teacher/parent groups in smaller cities and sometimes large. The common thread is always a good kid wanting to express a love of their family heritage and a little individuality running into a wall erected by supposedly better knowing adults.

When you look around many instances of some form of discrimination become evident. As a large, white, bearded and tattooed male I have been subjected to numerous delays going through customs because I have been "profiled" as a biker type. When I wear a kilt while travelling, I become a customs officers worst nightmare.

And to the original question, yes they are that scared. Scared that something, somewhere, sometime, somehow will cause an incident. I know their jobs are to avoid such incidents, but they always seem to imagine any little deviation will automatically cause a worst case scenario.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TheOfficialBren

It was in Missouri...what do you expect?

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Hmmmm... Now y'alls sayin' we's rednecks or something?

It was sadly reported on the forum last year when it happened. Can't say I was impressed with the guys commitment to wearing it... International civerage and he uses his girlfriend as an excuse to just wear trousers...

I hear stories like this every year and it always makes me sad. In my state, there are a group of students trying to arrange a separate homosexual-free prom.


But then you hear of progressive proms where all are accepted, and it gives me a little more faith in humanity.

I have no doubt that there are plenty of common-sense, even progressive, school administrators out there but they're not the ones who make the news with stories like this. The job seems to attract a certain type of petty tyrant. When I was in high school the great moral panic was not kilts at prom, but Bart Simpson t-shirts.

Heck, I'm so old that when I wore a nice pair of wool slacks to school one cold winter morning, I got to spend the day sitting in the office because girls were required to wear skirts! (They would have sent me home to change clothes but I rode the bus, so that was not an option.)

Yeah, they really taught me a lesson. . . following year I sat on a student committee that took a calm, reasoned approach and successfully convinced admin to revise the dress code LOL

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sydnie7

Heck, I'm so old that when I wore a nice pair of wool slacks to school one cold winter morning, I got to spend the day sitting in the office because girls were required to wear skirts!

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Inorite? When I was in school, girls were not allowed to wear trousers. When my granddaughter started school, girls were REQUIRED to wear trousers.

Heck, I guess Maine is a little more open minded.
Not only are boys allowed to wear kilts to school, at least where I work; Cony high in Augusta.
(I have only seen one student who does it and it is more of a punk/goth looking one) but we have
also had "Pirate girl and Vampire girl" who were allowed to express themselves as long as it didn't get risque'
The next town over my friends daughter wore antlers to her prom. sorry, I can't tell you more
about that...time travel was the theme.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TheOfficialBren

It was in Missouri...what do you expect?

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As a resident of Missouri, I have to say that this remark is simply "not cricket". If you're fighting for open-mindedness, making generalisations weakens your cause. Yes, we're in "Flyover Country", but quite a few of us have got the "book-learnin'" like you folks in Californey. :roll:

BTW, this story happened almost a year ago, it it was in Granite City, Illinois. :wink:

Back to the cracker barrel now...ma will have the vittles ready faster than you can say "lickety Christmas". :lol:

T.

"By Piper Weiss, Shine Staff | Parenting – Thu, Mar 29, 2012 6:30 PM EDT
At 19, William Carruba is old enough to serve in the army and vote. But according to his school administration, he's still not allowed to dress himself for prom."


Old News, nothing to get too excited by folks :wink:

Cheers

Jamie

As I recall from the final post in last year's thread about this, the school board ultimately reversed its decision.

EDIT: Apparently I did not recall that one correctly. Just went and looked it up:

http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/f...67/index4.html

But again, this is old news.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cajunscot

As a resident of Missouri, I have to say that this remark is simply "not cricket". If you're fighting for open-mindedness, making generalisations weakens your cause. Yes, we're in "Flyover Country", but quite a few of us have got the "book-learnin'" like you folks in Californey. :roll:

BTW, this story happened almost a year ago, it it was in Granite City, Illinois. :wink:

Back to the cracker barrel now...ma will have the vittles ready faster than you can say "lickety Christmas". :lol:

T.

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CajunScot, you are absolutely right. I sincerely apologise for my rude remark.

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Originally Posted by TheOfficialBren

CajunScot, you are absolutely right. I sincerely apologise for my rude remark.

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Apology accepted, and my apologies for the thin-skin.

T.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cajunscot

Apology accepted, and my apologies for the thin-skin.

T.

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No worries, my friend. Forgiven and forgotten.

In tradition, the kilt was gender specific to men. So, wouldn't that make me the cross-dresser? Again, little minds.

I'm interested to find the outcome if this if it was originally posted last year. Does anybody know?

Edit: I found where this was posted first and followed that. I'm still disgusted.

According to the article, the boy caved in to the demands of the narrow-minded, racist school board and left his kilt at home.

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Originally Posted by TheOfficialBren

Racist school board!

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You should look up the definition of racism.

The school board was discriminatory in their decision, but not racist.


*pet peeve

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Originally Posted by Big Mikey

I have been "profiled" as a biker type. When I wear a kilt while travelling, I become a customs officers worst nightmare.

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But Mikey, you're so nice about it! :twisted:

We just had a whole thread about a hosts abilitiy to set a dress standard for his/her function and a lot of posters agreed that if you can't fufill that standard, the polite and respectful thing to do, is not to attend. There is no mention as to what the actual dress code was in this matter, but obviously a kilt was not at the standard set by the hosts of the prom. A lot of people get hot under the collar if the wearing of the kilt is not permitted to a function. Please get real, the kilt is not acceptable or welcomed in every social situation.

To get back to my original point, the hosts make the rules, if you cannot or will not abide by them, perhaps you should not attend.

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Originally Posted by Downunder Kilt

To get back to my original point, the hosts make the rules, if you cannot or will not abide by them, perhaps you should not attend.

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That would have been my response. If I remember Prom correctly, it costs a lot to just go, not to mention the cost of taking a date out for dinner, etc. So to sound cheap or anything, but if they don't like it, I'll take my money somewhere else.

The adult, and not whiny, sniveling BureauRat thing to have done, would have been to poll the kids, who were probably not given any input into the matter at all...further training them to be good little sheeple...just keep your head down and your mouth shut, there little jimmy, and keep doing what you are told...
Sorry...I have issues with enforced conformity...to a point of course, there is nothing wrong with a dress code, minimum acceptable stadardds..gotcha. But I would react to this sort of treatment no differently being told that I could not wear my Navy choker whites to an event as being told I could not wear full formal highland dress...mostly...I would go ballistic a whole lot quicker being told I could not wear chokers. I EARNED that one. And they are both acceptable levels of dress equivalent to a tux...Butt comma, however...Taking one's money somewhere else is also good. I will point out that there was a local high school principle that pulled something dumb like this, and it was the last straw...the entire school district rose up in an angry mass of pithed off student and parent, and the Super and principal went away. It was BEAUTIFUL!

Having read the afore mentioned conversation re: standards of dress, and this conversation, I understand, appreciate and am willing to "obey" (for lack of a better term) the wishes of the host to a point. Once those wishes isolate or exclude a member of the party to which the function seeks to include, I diverge.

I often wonder what the district would have done if the student in question was a recent emmigrant from Perth? Not unreasonable...one of his parents is an engineer transfered to work at Mizzou. They have only just arrived in the USA within the last 3-5 yrs. Like Llwyd says, Highland Evening Dress may be exactly what the young man deems a tuxedo. Is the School Leadership confortable shutting him out then? Would they do the same if it was an African exchange student in Formal Dashiki?

As I progress through the Hierarchy of Aikido, I've seen senior traditional Uchideshi wear Kimono-Hakama ensemble side-by-side with contemporary "silk" interpretations of the classic Tux among "NextGen" Aikidoka at the same Black tie events.

It just makes me wonder who/whom the District Leadership think they're serving?

Post deleted to avoid controversial subject matter.

We started discussing a reported case, in fact, the lad did the right thing he asked the question, pleaded his case and the powers to be did not accept his argument and said no. He accepted their decision. Now posters are delving into the game of What Ifs.

What if he was a Scot from Perth (and I presume you mean Scotland, not Australia)
What if he was a Latinino
What if he was an African Kid
What if he was a Sikh
What if he was Japanese
None of these have any bearing on the case up for discussion. What is it that people find so hard to understand? The kilt is not acceptable for every occasion. Jeans are not suitable for every occasion, as with suits, military uniforms, swimming costumes, track suits, the list goes on and on.
If you want to go to a certain event, whether you are 15 or 50, and there is a dress code, by all means ask questions and plead your case but don't play the racist/ discrimation or I earnt it card if the host/s say no

Fair enough. I retract my previous post.

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Originally Posted by Downunder Kilt

We started discussing a reported case, in fact, the lad did the right thing he asked the question, pleaded his case and the powers to be did not accept his argument and said no. He accepted their decision. Now posters are delving into the game of What Ifs.

What if he was a Scot from Perth (and I presume you mean Scotland, not Australia)
What if he was a Latinino
What if he was an African Kid
What if he was a Sikh
What if he was Japanese
None of these have any bearing on the case up for discussion. What is it that people find so hard to understand? The kilt is not acceptable for every occasion. Jeans are not suitable for every occasion, as with suits, military uniforms, swimming costumes, track suits, the list goes on and on.
If you want to go to a certain event, whether you are 15 or 50, and there is a dress code, by all means ask questions and plead your case but don't play the racist/ discrimation or I earnt it card if the host/s say no

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Respectfully, these examples have everything to do with this discussion. As well, your tone conveys a snarky frustration which belies your contribution. What appears hard for anyone to understand is some may disagree with you. Take that for what it is worth.

You insist on contributing to a false justification for exclusion by isolating the specific article of clothing among an entire ensemble - the kilt - as "inappropriate". Many scholars on this site, more knowledgable than all of us, have routinely stated the kilt should be treated effectively as "slacks" amidst the larger outfit. Hence, Daywear containes virtually the same tweed "sportcoat", vest, shirt, tie, etc, that Saxon dress might find - only with kilt instead of pants.

The event in question, a prom, generally calls for a "Tuxedo". A bi-product of the United States is multi culturalism, any institution here is virtually guaranteed to receive multicultural "tuxedo's". As stated in another thread, unless the invitation specified "Saxon" Tuxedo - whom do you decide is inappropriately dressed, so long as they are formally dressed?

Back to our japanese exchange student...he brings with him for prom, his Kimono-Hakama. He is then informed, "Young man, you may not attend because we've decided that, although it is perfectly ok for you to date our girls, play our sports, learn in our schools, eat our food, watch our tv that 'dress thingy' you've got on is just to abnormal for our tastes. Sorry."

This is ignorance masking for guidance and nothing more. It is not a matter of whether a "kilt" is right for any occasion. It is a matter of whether the ensemble, i.e. level of dress, is right for the occasion & the kilt being but a part of it. The School Leadership had a preconceived notion of what they deemed an acceptable "tuxedo". Once they established the schema, I hope they applied that standard judiciously. Rest assured there were students who attended the event wearing sport coats and slacks. I doubt they were informed of their "fau paux".

Slainte,
Domehead

School functions are a special case. Attendance at school is compulsory, so IMHO it is the school officials who should have to put up with the school pupils being as they are, within reason. This should extend to after school functions, when by all means they might have to dress more formally if the function is formal, but the officials get no say in who the attendees are. School officials are not hosts who get to choose the guest list, because they have to educate everyone in their cachement area, so if they throw a function for them, they can't choose who gets to go.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Downunder Kilt

We just had a whole thread about a hosts abilitiy to set a dress standard for his/her function and a lot of posters agreed that if you can't fufill that standard, the polite and respectful thing to do, is not to attend. There is no mention as to what the actual dress code was in this matter, but obviously a kilt was not at the standard set by the hosts of the prom. A lot of people get hot under the collar if the wearing of the kilt is not permitted to a function. Please get real, the kilt is not acceptable or welcomed in every social situation.

To get back to my original point, the hosts make the rules, if you cannot or will not abide by them, perhaps you should not attend.

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I have to agree with Domehead. In this day and age, there is not much excuse for this sort of thing...can see holding to a reasonable standard of formality, but not to the exclusion of the choice of dress....nobody blows a gasket if a young lady wears p@nts to the prom...there is a strong undercurrent in this country of people whose drive in life is to run everybody's lives around them...

My problem with the School Board in this case is:
This public school accepts Federal funding, I pay Federal taxes, I do not want my money [even a small amount] supporting a discriminatory act.
Rondo

Sorry gents but you have missed my point. You get and invitation, it has a dress standard, you question that dress standard and put forward your argument, the hosts/organisers say no, that is not acceptable. The student in this case is not compelled by the school to attend the function. As i have said he did the right thing and agreed with the decision. The student in this case was 3 genrations removed from Scotland and now we are starting to talk about exchange students. Maybe if the exchange student put his case to the hosts/organisers, then because he is not an citizen, and is still "living his culture", the organiser may say yes. Who knows with "what ifs"

As for the situation of this lad being at school, his stated age was 19 ( a non compulsory age to be at school in most US states). There was no indication that the function was a compulsory one and the organisers/host certainly have the right to choose who could attend and who could not, say in the case of a suspended student.

I certainly stand by my statement that the kilt outfit is not suitable for every occasion, just like any other piece of clothing and that hosts/organisers have the right to declare a dress code, however strict.

Domehead unless you were there, then your statement " rest assured there were students at that event who were wearing sport coats and slacks. Doubt they were informed of there error." is a fabrication/wish and holds little weight in your argument. And yes I used the word kilt when I should have said a formal kilt outfit.

Everytime this question comes up, and it has on a number of occasions, the shrill of racism, descrimination, not fair, gets bandied about. I love wearing a kilt and the associated accoutrements as much as anyone, but there are times when it is not appropiate. Sometimes questioning a dress code goes in ones favour sometimes it doesn't.

Domehead, O'Callaghan, Llwyd, and Rondo:

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Downunder Kilt

Sorry gents but you have missed my point. You get and invitation, it has a dress standard, you question that dress standard and put forward your argument, the hosts/organisers say no, that is not acceptable. The student in this case is not compelled by the school to attend the function. As i have said he did the right thing and agreed with the decision. The student in this case was 3 genrations removed from Scotland and now we are starting to talk about exchange students. Maybe if the exchange student put his case to the hosts/organisers, then because he is not an citizen, and is still "living his culture", the organiser may say yes. Who knows with "what ifs"

As for the situation of this lad being at school, his stated age was 19 ( a non compulsory age to be at school in most US states). There was no indication that the function was a compulsory one and the organisers/host certainly have the right to choose who could attend and who could not, say in the case of a suspended student.

I certainly stand by my statement that the kilt outfit is not suitable for every occasion, just like any other piece of clothing and that hosts/organisers have the right to declare a dress code, however strict.

Domehead unless you were there, then your statement " rest assured there were students at that event who were wearing sport coats and slacks. Doubt they were informed of there error." is a fabrication/wish and holds little weight in your argument. And yes I used the word kilt when I should have said a formal kilt outfit.

Everytime this question comes up, and it has on a number of occasions, the shrill of racism, descrimination, not fair, gets bandied about. I love wearing a kilt and the associated accoutrements as much as anyone, but there are times when it is not appropiate. Sometimes questioning a dress code goes in ones favour sometimes it doesn't.

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Unless you have large amounts of discretionary cash, you can't choose where you go to school.

Sure, the age for compulsory attendance is probably 16 most places, but unless you stay two years beyond that, you end up with nothing under the US system. I don't think that's a good system, but it's the one in operation. Everything hinges on a thing called a high school diploma, issued at the end of the whole process, and whilst it isn't sufficient to get a really good job, the lack of this diploma will really screw up your career plans, and alternatives issued by somewhere other than a high school carry a stigma with them. To get into college you have to take apptitude tests, but you still need that diploma as well.

In England we had O level tests at 16 (now called GCSEs) and A level tests at 18. GCSEs will get you an entry level job that might need a high school diploma in the US, provided you have several of them and they include English and Maths and they are at least grade C (Ds and Es are called certificate grades and are worthless, sorry). 2 A levels (even Ds and Es) will get you into some college somewhere. IMHO it is a better system, because it is not "all or nothing". Scotland has a slightly different system, which I won't explore in all its boring detail, but still based on successive subject tests at different ages, similar to England. No doubt Australia has something else yet more different.

But I digress, in the US, for the ordinary people, the county tells you where to go to school, and if you leave before 18 you leave empty handed. Being theoretically able to leave at 16 is irrelevant, for the most part. Of course, after school functions aren't compulsory, but where do you think all your friends will be? At the prom? Most likely, as it's a big deal, the last big such function before you leave school. So, being told you can't go is a big deal. True, all he has to do is put on trousers, but where is the justification for such a rule? I find it hard to come up with one. Do they expect it to cause a riot? No, they are just school officials being petty in the way that only they know how.

Fortunately, they aren't as petty as that where we live, although they have other shortcomings all of their own. My son graduated high school already, but chose not to attend prom, and has no interest in wearing a kilt anyway. My daughter has a couple of years left to go.

O'Callaghan, you nailed it. Spot on.

US schools are all about money. Oeriod. Education means zilch. A few great teachers are the thin line between education and babysitting for most students.

I went to private schools until high school. I can honestly say that academic performance and socialisation is CONSIDERABLY better in those sxhools than the dreaded California public school system (which is, on the whole, abysmal).

We as Americans tout our freedoms from on high...loudly and often...but are the first bunch to step on the other guy's toes...many of my more conservative friends were very very quick to denounce the occupy movement as being a bunch of worthless slackers...and were loudly proposing to have them all arrested for public nuisance....and now that the gun control fiasco is the shiny thing du jour it goes exactly the opposite direction...the same folks screaming about their rights....and much the same behavior on the other sode of the fence. Me, I enjoy alternately sitting on the fence amd gleefully pointing this out....or switching sides and playing devils advocate.....and I am more than just a little bit rebellious to convention and being told how I am going to do things....I am descended from a bunch of Scots and Englishmen who are on this side of the pond for those very reasons....lol

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Originally Posted by Downunder Kilt

Sorry gents but you have missed my point...

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No, I have not.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Downunder Kilt

Domehead unless you were there, then your statement " rest assured there were students at that event who were wearing sport coats and slacks. Doubt they were informed of there error." is a fabrication/wish and holds little weight in your argument. And yes I used the word kilt when I should have said a formal kilt outfit...

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Considering I have a Bachelor of Science in English Literature / Secondary Education Teaching Degree, did teach in our city school district (albeit briefly) and was a Junior Varsity & Varsity Baseball Coach at my High School Alma mater, I've attended and chaperoned these events. I know of what I speak.

Away to the Dojo to train and teach