Stay-at-home parenting

[lucienrau]

I'm about to transition from being working for other people to being an at-home parent. I see that we've got a few around here and wanted to ask for any advice people have. I've held down a job since I was 12 (20 years) and the prospect of not working for someone else is slightly daunting for me. Exciting too.

Of course changing diapers is much more exciting than my current job, which helps.

[Panache]

Congratulations and good luck on a very different type of new career

As a stay-at-home Dad for a few years I suggest that you remember:


(1) To take pride in raising your family

(2) That being in charge of a household is more than just taking care of a baby. When your spouse comes home they should expect that home to be clean and neat. They should expect that the laundry and dishes are done and that dinner is ready

(3) If you don't know how to cook I highly recommend Alton Brown's Food+Heat=Cooking . Cooking for a family isn't very hard at all once you get a few basics down

(4) Make sure that you get a day off every once in a while. You need to recharge your batteries and will appreciate your family more for it

(5) Enjoy the special moments that only you will get see as your children grow and develop, it really is a privilege

Cheers

Jamie :ootd:

[lucienrau]

Cooking is one of the things I'm looking forward to. I'm a pretty decent cook but my current commute takes up most of the meal preparation time. I keep getting told that I should open a restaurant, but I can't be bothered with the amount of work. I'm looking forward to having more than 15-30 mins to get food together for us. Good Eats certainly helped bring my cooking to a new level, even if I don't agree with some of his recepies, the science bits are great.

As far as taking care of the house etc... Well, I do all of that anyway, my wife is a graduating resident in OB/GYN so I've had all the housework duties & a full time job since we got married (med school and residency are tough on spouses too.) Now I just don't have the full time job as well.

A day off? What's that like? Hopefully that'll come with time.

[Kerr the Walker]

I admit that being stay at home dad is my dream job. I think the duties of keeping house and home would be infinitely more rewarding than any job I could ever get working for someone else.

Best of luck! Hopefully I'll be there with you one day.

[ali8780]

were you looking for a woman's perspective?

if so, I thought I'd offer a thing or two.

I have to say that the transition of working full time in an office comprised of other adults to staying at home alone with a baby (and later, kids) was very challenging for me. So here's my advice:

1. You will watch daytime TV for the first day or two--or week or two just to drown out the silence, until you realize how stupid daytime TV is, and then you will narrow it down to a show or two and get used to the silence. Unless of course your kids are not in school, in which case, you will be watching whatever they want to watch (I guess that's more of a prediction than advice)

2. Find friends. The kind that do what you do day in and out. This will require effort on your part--more than you realize, but you'll need them. The hardest part for me was not having an instantly occurring social group to belong too, and I felt very lonely once I quit.

3. keep your interests, and develop them continuously. It's very easy to lose yourself in the day to day self sacrifice of parenting, but if you do you'll resent your kids and your decision to have them or care for them, and that's not good (obviously).

4. (this one comes from my Grandma ) Right before your spouse comes home, put a pot of water on the stove to boil and tie on an apron. They'll never know you spent your day watching TV and eating bon bons

Welcome to the most rewarding and difficult job in the world.

[socalferg]

I raise my three children solo for some time. I left a management position in aerospace to be a full time stay at home (years ago). I too worked since I was a teen. For me the transition was a big relief. I was done taking care of the "children" in the work place (generally my superiors). I was able to focus on my family. It was tough in that I had to still make a living (started an at home business) and there were a few times when I was a bit hungry in the early days, but....

I would not have traded it for anything. It was great to be there for them and got to go on plenty of field trips for their school.

When the younger two were in high school I went back to work. I hadn't missed anything, it's still the same in the workplace.

My advice, just enjoy this opportunity.

[lucienrau]

I raise my three children solo for some time. I left a management position in aerospace to be a full time stay at home (years ago). I too worked since I was a teen. For me the transition was a big relief.

My advice, just enjoy this opportunity.

I'm anticipating the relief. I'm currently in a position where I have to fix most of the problems that come about by laziness further up the line. It's in educational publishing so the busiest times of year are the summer and December. I can't wait to get outside this summer and enjoy it and to enjoy the holidays rather than being stressed and working long hours.

Just think--When the baby's asleep and everyone else is away, you'll be able to hang out on XMTS for hours and hours on end ...

Right on. Though I'll have to do it one-handed for a while since she isn't that fond of her crib right now.

Ali, a woman's perspective is always appreciated. I'm a bit worried about the friends issue. I've always found it hard to make friends so it's something that I'm very aware of. I'm looking into taking some classes that I've wanted to take for a while to start meeting people (Tai Chi, family yoga, Indian cooking etc...) and to get out of the house.

I'm looking forward to getting out of the house too. This is the first desk job I've had in my life and being in the same place all day, every day has been soul deadening. Walking to the park on weekends does so much to relieve that.

[Aldisimo]

Just think--When the baby's asleep and everyone else is away, you'll be able to hang out on XMTS for hours and hours on end ...

[JolyStNicholas]

Between the wife and I we have 6 grown children, and all the stories that go along with raising them, now we have 14 grandchildren{they're a totally different trip all together} 5 years ago we adopted our 6 year old grandson{#12} and he is now 11 years old. I'm the stay at home dad, being retired.. You've got lots to look forward to.............................Ha! !