The world's greatest minds defend beer.

[Lallans]

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Babe Ruth
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Lyndon B. Johnson

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Horning

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
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Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group -Salvation in a can!
Leo Durocher

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:

"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

[Chirs]

The more beer I have, the more true that becomes.

[Spartan Tartan]

[T-Bone]

BEER
makes
me
Awesome!!

[cruiser348]

I never knew Cliff on Cheers to say anything that sounded at all correct; however I have now been shown the light so to speak. Of course it could be from the beer I put down just before clicking on this thread (and maybe had a little to do with it's friends that went before it).

[cruiser348]

Guess I should add the irony of drinking a beer called "Twisted Kilt" while on this site to begin with.

[Korvyn]

Alltime favorite is from bagger Vance:

Rannulph Junnah: Now, the question on the table is how drunk is drunk enough? And the answer is that it's all a matter of brain cells
Hardy Greaves: Brain cells?
Rannulph Junnah: That's right Hardy. You see every drink of liquor you take kills a thousand brain cells. Now that doesn't much matter 'cos we got billions more. And first the sadness cells die so you smile real big. And then the quiet cells go so you just say everything real loud for no reason at all. That'ok, that's ok because the stupid cells go next, so everything you say is real smart. And finally, come the memory cells. These are tough sons of bitches to kill.

[jgcunningham]

What's the difference between being inebriated and being drunk?

If you can still say "inebriated" then you're not drunk.

[CDNSushi]

You forgot one:

"Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems."

-Homer Simpson

[ForresterModern]

I may be drunk but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I'll be sober, but you will still be ugly.
Anon.