No more kilts for me ladies and gents - I am sick and tired of the astronomical costs, the endless countless pointless accessories, the waves of public ridicule, and my complete inability to afford an real honest to gosh 20 yard Cashmere quadruple box pleated kilt sewn by an ancient highland pictish monk using the finest thread from Jason's golden fleece!!!!!!

No sir-eee, no more kilts for me, I'm going back to trousers. Give me those long skinny tubes designed for boobs than bind and twist at my fiddily bits until I can sing castrato.

Let me blend in with the sheep and forget the swish, swirl, and sweep of tartan pleats on parade. I'll wear my baseball cap backwards, pull on my white gym socks,and totally disappear from view. No more cabers or dirks or chanters for me - and oh how happy I will be just to copying the fashions from M - T - V!




Happy April 1st.