Help wanted

[toadinakilt]

Guys, I'd like some help or suggestions or something...

I only own one kilt right now, the SportKilt. I've been slowly saving (I'm in college) for a Stillwater Standard (Black Stewart, for the record), and I'm probably about a month away from having the needed dough...

But, acting on a hunch, I straight up asked my girlfriend what she thought about kilts...especially because I would love to eventually have enough kilts for everyday wear, and give up pants (almost) entirely...

She really thinks the whole kilt thing is weird...and though she doesn't mind me wearing one occasionally, she's not really into the whole "boyfriend/husband in a kilt every day" idea.

Guys, I love her very much. It took us forever to get together because neither of us wanted a flash-in-the-pan relationship, and when I really think about it, it doesn't seem like my personal preference in clothing is important enough to fight for...after all, she's okay with it occasionally. Or maybe...I should just passively resist and break her in slow? I don't know.

She's an amazing woman, and I have no clue where I'd find another like her. And really, I'd rather not dump her, so if that's your only suggestion, please don't post. I need to find a way to keep her and kilts.

Thanks, guys.

[davedove]

Most people just have to get used to the idea. Since she's okay with the kilt occassionally, just wear it once in a while at first, then slowly increase the frequency. Before you know it, you'll be wearing kilts most of the time and odds are she won't even notice.

[Andrew Breecher]

I love wearing kilts, and do so every day. But seriously, if you have to choose between the girl and the kilt, take the girl, dude.

Andrew.

[toadinakilt]

But seriously, if you have to choose between the girl and the kilt, take the girl, dude.

Believe me, although it sorta hurts to say it, I will drop kilts before her. Man, I love this forum.

[Archangel]

Believe me, although it sorta hurts to say it, I will drop kilts before her. Man, I love this forum.

ahem, is that what you meant to say? I thought you could only afford one. Sorry, it's the way my mother raised me.

[GatorUK]

The Stillwater will be quite a step up from the SportKilt. Perhaps when she sees you in it with a nice shirt, belt and sporran she will warm to the idea.

[Rigged]

I'm old enough to remember when women first started wearing pants in public.

Some women were beaten by their husbands and boyfriends. Some women were harassed and even beaten by strangers in the streets.

Most of us are having a pretty easy transition from pants to kilts.

As for how to deal with your girlfriend, ask yourself what she would do if the situation was reversed.

[Jerry]

I love wearing kilts, and do so every day. But seriously, if you have to choose between the girl and the kilt, take the girl, dude.

Andrew.

I'm not so sure about that. After all, a kilt will never cost you child support or alimony.

[MACKAY]

First time she gets a look at some cutie giving you the eyeball when wearing your kilts will change her mind in a hurry. There are a few members on this board who will tell you the same.

My wife was ambivalent at best, even though she married me with full knowledge of my heritage and occasional kilt wearing. But it wasn't until we went to a non-Celtic event while I was kilted and she was witness to the "Oh my god, you look so good in a kilt" from some young hottie that the lights went on!

Now I have her nudging me to wear them when we go out on the weekends. I even caught her browsing the Stillwater site just the oter day mentioning my birthday and Christmas :-)

Give it time and hang in there ....

Brian

[Shay]

From a woman's persepctive, there's a couple problems that might be cropping up in her mind that you would want to reassure her one:

Is my man a cross dresser?
Will he be flashing people?
Will he look like a total dork and I'll be embarrassed?
Will his legs be better than mine?

Options one and two, you can easily reassure her on- show her the forum, pictures of men in kilts, wear underwear, (I understand the whole 'going regimental' thing, but if you wouldn't want your girlfriend going sans panties in a skirt to the grocery store, she's probably not into it for you, either- it's a comfort level here, not a control level) ask her to nudge you if she sees the kilt creeping up (even thought it hardly ever, ever happens) etc.

Option three is something she's either going to get over, or won't. Not everyone likes kilts, just like not everyone likes sneakers or tank tops on their mate. If it's important to you, though, I say wear it anyway- once you've reassured her (or not, let's face it, cross-dressers can wear kilts when not in drag) then why do you need her approval?

I really wouldn't recommend saying something like, "It's sexist that you wear pants and skirts and I can't wear a kilt," because like it or not, that's a little like a white guy complaining to a black guy that he's tired of the stereotype that white men can't jump*. It doesn't really help your case with many people.

Option four- that's all you, buddy.

Good luck, if she wants, she can e-mail me, my husband's worn kilts off and on since we've been married and I might be able to answer questions she doesn't want to ask you or whatever. I won't be back for a week but I'd be happy to talk to her then- my e-mail is shaysNOSPAMdays@gmail.com, take out the NOSPAM.

*I'm not trying to start a fight here, just trying to give you a little perspective about how women often think when men bring up that things are sexist against what a male wants, mmkay?


EDIT: BTW- a lot of this could have been avoided by just wearing the kilt and not asking her what she thought until after it was a more normal thing- now all the focus in on the kilt when you do wear it as a source of tension rather than something you wear to be comfortable.