It's 3:35 AM.

[Dreadbelly]

I can't sleep because I am in so much pain. RA is really flaring up, most likely because it rained. I have remained for the past few hours in a constant state on being on the verge of puking, my head is swimmy, and I am seeing doubles of everything. RA is eating up my spine pretty badly. Right now, it feels like somebody is slamming a red hot hammer repeatedly in to my lower back and in between my shoulder blades. It is unbearable, yet there is nothing I can do but accept it. It is extremely difficult to type, but here I am, trying to distract my self from the pain. I don't take pain killers... I would rather suffer in body and have a clear mind than be a zombie. I can even feel the dull tooth achy feeling of RA in my jaw, especially where I had my jawbone fractured from being hit in the head with a crowbar. Ever had a really bad toothache? You know, the kind where if anything hot or cold, even just a breeze hits your tooth it makes every nerve ending in your body sing with pain? And that dull throbbing thudding ache? Yeah, that. All night long. And I can feel it just below my bad nearly blind eye where my face got caved in. It's nights like this where I am reminded of all the abuse my poor body has taken. I feel each place where I have taken blows, had fractures, been crushed, smooshed, or smashed. The place where my pelvis broke feels like somebody poured gasoline inside my hip and lit it on fire. I am at the point where I can't help but think about sawing off my gimpy badly damaged leg... I try not to, but my mind thinks of it. Sawing it off would hurt like hell, but for some reason my brain seems to think it's a good idea to get rid of the horrible pain shooting up and down my leg. That place on the back of my skull where they had to saw it open and stick a couple of pins down in my neck is giving me fits. It's now 3:49. The foot that got crushed and burned under the motorcycle and now looks like a deformed raisin... It hurts like hell. Feels like it is being burned all over again, just like when the block cracked and spewed boiling hot oil all over my leg and foot and skidding over the pavement with the motorcycle on top of my leg had chewed off my boot and most of my pantleg... God, if I had known I was going to live this long, I would not have done most of the stupid things I had done and I would have taken better care of my self. I hate nights like this not only for the pain but for the nightmarish memories of many of the injuries... I hate flashbacks. I am loney, my wife is asleep, my dog lies snoring, all my birds are sleeping. I am all alone with a head full of bad memories and blinding pain.

3:55.

I hate nights like these.

Please forgive me my grumbles. I am not even sure why I posted. Just a way to pass the time I reckon and distract my self.

[macgreggor]

hey Dread,

I haven't done anywhere near that ammount of damage to this old body and it still acts up in the wee hours.

3 a.m. and all alone in your own head can be a REALLY ugly place to be!

just a short note from another night owl.

macG

[Big Paul]

I hope you feel better soon Dread..

[Archangel]

sorry I missed this earlier. really hope you're feeling better. not much point passing on painkilling techniques, you're probably fully aware of them better than me.
anyway, posting is one of them, just watch your posture best you can.

What kind of bike, if that's not insensitive?

[Dreadbelly]

That's not insensitive at all. I remember that bike fondly despite of it's end. I was 17 years old. The bike was a 1988 Honda CBR 600. Some of you will know what sort of bike this is. Stripped down for speed, not the least bit street legal. A lot of the faring had been stripped away. I loved this bike because it was my first real cafe racer. It was throaty, it was fast, and it was freedom. And it was a heck of a lot better than my very first bike, which was so awful that you had to reach down and shift gears with a screw driver jammed in to the shifter. This bike allowed me to see the world. It was like being in love for the first time with a girl. Intoxicating and dangerous.

Somebody plowed through a red light and clipped my hind end. I lost control. Ripped the bike in half just about. Not sure how, but the engine cracked, possibly when it flopped over and hit the road. And I did the one thing you just don't do. I failed to stay on top of the bike. Happened to fast, bike folded over and layed down with a leg under it as I went skidding down the road. The road was freshly paved, with grooves in it, hopefully somebody will know what I am talking about. It's very sharp and gritty and unfinished. Cheese gratered most of my boot right off and my pant leg. I saved my ***... I knew I was being cheese grated and I arched my back up to keep my fleshy *** off of the blacktop. Leather jacket got chewed up a bit, but saved most of my skin. Kept my hands in the air too. Leaking oil boiled my leg, as well as all the heat from the friction of the cheese gratering.

I'd do it again! I miss riding motorcycles. HST was right you know... All you need in life is a warp speed hunchbacked cafe racer.

And yes, I did hear the Song of the Sausage Creature when I went down that day. I didn't know what it was at the time, but would come to find out later.

[Rob Wright]

Dread, sending all the positive vibes I can your way

I have to order some of the pepper's for your recipes through work because surprise, surprise, the only grocery Wal-Mart doesn't carry them.

I look forward to sampling your creativity brother

Rob

[Archangel]

That's not insensitive at all.
I'd do it again! I miss riding motorcycles. HST was right you know... All you need in life is a warp speed hunchbacked cafe racer.

And yes, I did hear the Song of the Sausage Creature when I went down that day. I didn't know what it was at the time, but would come to find out later.

Know the bike, sounds cool.
Raced mx for way too long.

HST??

Was walking with wife one time, saw stupid sequence. Traffic jam, stopped at light, car decides to go shopping, rams it in reverse to cross street, plows into bike behind him, stunned rider rolls up trunk and back down onto road. People look after him, I go check out the bike. He comes to, I tell him how his bike. Wife and people say he doesn't care right now. He looks over at me, "thanks, man." Bikers.