How to spot a Breacaneer.

**Dreadbelly** · 22nd February 07, 01:24 PM

And what is a Breacaneer? Why, it is a kilt wearing pirate you trooserlubber.

(Please note, when I came home from the bank, the wife suprised me with the camera. She was really quite taken with how I look. Gogo getting back to normal)

A Breacaneer is typically found wearing a Hawaiian shirt, usually in a loud and obnoxious print. Kilt is in a solid colour, although particularly viscious Breacaneers may wear a Loud MacLeod kilt with a bright yellow Hawaiian shirt. These individuals should be feared, respected, and kept at a distance. (And viewed through welding masks or eclipse goggles) Hair is typically dreadlocks or long haired, and big bushy scary beards are a common site. In this particular subjects hand, there is a bottle of fermented lemon kombucha brew. Nothing frightens a Breacaneer more than scurvy, the only known natural enemy of the Breacaneer. To keep this foul arch nemisis away, all manner of cures are assembled. Limes in ginger beer, rum, limes and lemons to eat, rum, limes and lemons in tea, rum, citrus kombucha fermented brews, rum, and pina coladas. (With rum) Scurvy is a deadly foe, and it is not to be underestimated. A Breacaneer will go to any length to defend himself (or herself) from their most hated foe. Also of note are the boat shoes, a light comfortable pair, open and airy, suitable for tropical climates. No socks. A devil may care grin and wide legged stance is also typical. A slight stagger or swagger is usually spotted during times of movement. (Sadly, the defenses against scurvy do not bring themselves) Some particularly colourful Breacaneers may even be afflicted with voodoo Calypso curses. Breacaneers give up worrying about being highlanders or lowlanders, and are instead content to be sandlanders.

The one thing you will never see a Breacaneer in is troosers. In this case, it is truly better to be a pirate than it is to join the Navy.

**Pour1Malt** · 23rd February 07, 03:23 AM

avast ye scurvy dug!

see ma Pirate Pairty Piccies here--

http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/s...ad.php?t=18684

**Dirka Skene** · 25th February 07, 07:12 AM

It looks like you're posing for a commercial. What's kombucha?

**cessna152towser** · 25th February 07, 01:24 PM

I like it Dread; good pictures with informative and amusing captions. You successfully combine the kilt and the hawaiian shirt to yield a very with it look.

**Fearnest** · 25th February 07, 03:03 PM

NOW I know what to wear next 19 September! (ITLAP Day)

**ccga3359** · 25th February 07, 03:19 PM

One question Cap'n Belly, does a Breacaneer loath or welcome a strong gusty blow? To fill me sails, or to rise me kilt 'tis but the quandry.

**Dreadbelly** · 25th February 07, 04:08 PM

Aye, a strong wind may expose yer mast and yer poop deck but that is to be welcomed.

**ccga3359** · 25th February 07, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by Dreadbelly

Aye, a strong wind may expose yer mast and yer poop deck but that is to be welcomed.

Being land bound in the winters, I'm sure mizzen that.

**Dreadbelly** · 25th February 07, 04:22 PM

I plan to unleash an unholy hell upon this earth. As soon as I have the working know how, some kind of pattern, and the bolt of the right cloth, I am going to make a Hawaiian Jacobite shirt. A nice tropical print in the classic Jacobite cut.

All shall look upon me and dispair.

**ccga3359** · 25th February 07, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by Dreadbelly

I plan to unleash an unholy hell upon this earth. As soon as I have the working know how, some kind of pattern, and the bolt of the right cloth, I am going to make a Hawaiian Jacobite shirt. A nice tropical print in the classic Jacobite cut.

All shall look upon me and dispair.

Gotta be hemp bro.