My Turn To Deal With A Dress Code

[Riverkilt]

As a reminder, I work as a professional counselor in a rural town of 7,000 that adjoins the Navajo Nation in the Canyonlands of Arizona. The agency is a non-profit governed by a Board of Directors who hires the CEO who hires the rest of the staff and runs the agency.

Our "dress code" has always been, "Don't make me write one."

Two things have occured in the past six months. The CEO hired a new clinical supervisor (my boss). And, administrative staff, and some therapists have been coming to work very very casually dressed...sweat suits, warm ups, clothes that folks locally would wear to work in their yard, go camping, work on the car....grubbies.

Next week, the agency is hosting what they call a "meet and greet" for the employee assistance folks at one of the largest local employers. We want to get their business.

My new supervisor put out an email directing how staff should dress for this event. It didn't say, 'no kilts,' but it did say 'slacks.' So I didn't panic and sat on it hoping for clarity. That came. My boss doesn't want me wearing a kilt to the function because she feels its "unprofessional."

Rather than be stupid, told her okay, I gave all my pants to our Detox after two years of wearing kilts with no problem, but I may be able to find some that still fit, or I can buy a pair. I actually thought showing up at work in pants after two years in kilts might help emphasise how good kilts look.

Out of those discussions came the revelation that management is working on an agency dress code - apparently with no employee input so far.

Though it was at first incredulous to me that my new supervisor, a lady social worker who wears pants to work every day, is a champion of things liberal, no doubt recalls the fight for women to wear pants in the office, is not okay with my continuing to wear kilts, and dead set against it.

It does not seem to phase her that our walls are full of signs proclaiming how the agency honors and respects cultural diversity. She keeps asking me, "Don't you care what other people think of you?" And she struggles with my answer.

I did prepare an extensive history of kilts, the current kilt fashion boom, kilts in the workplace, and even the informaton about clans threatening civil rights lawsuits for banning kilts. She dismissed it saying it just doesn't apply to this agency. And she has no empathy for the comfort factor for males that sit for a living.

In preparation for the possibility that yesterday might be the last day I'll wear a kilt at work I've worn my hand sewn kilts every day, trying to look my best in a kilt.

Ironically, there have been some more intense issues presenting management than a dress code. I have been intensely involved in those issues. But its obvious management is concerned about how I'll react. The CEO and Finance director have gone to great lengths to assure me that they want me to stay with the agency. I've made it clear that it would help if my supervisor would address my kilt information presentation rather than dismiss it.

My supervisor told me that my wearing kilts has been disruptive at the agency for the two years I've been doing it and that I just don't see the disruption and others have been afraid to tell me. I checked that out with upper management and they say that's not true.

The dress code is not written yet, its a project underway. The only issue is Tuesdays meeting. I have agreed to wear pants on Tuesday. I did press for what I could wear on Wednesday. My supervisor said it is okay if I wear a kilt on Wednesday. My understanding now is I may remain kilted until the dress code is hammered out.

I have made sure that management knows that if for some insane reason kilts are banned at the agency I would like exceptions for wearing kilts on cultural holidays.

What troubles me more than anything is that this pant wearing lady liberal can't see the discrimination in a gender specific dress code.

This adventure has given me much deeper understanding and empathy for those of you who've deal with similar supervisors.

Hopefully, as the dress code development progresses I'll have some more receptive management ears to work with.

Ron

[Panache]

Ron,

I'm sorry to hear that the new clinical supervisor obviously has an issue with your kilt wearing. It sounds like you are handling things in a smart, polite, and professional manner. I think it's very wise that you are already setting up a back up plan in case kilts can't be everyday work wear (start compliling that list of Celtic holidays). Good luck and keep us posted on this.

And thanks for showing us an excellent example of showing grace under fire.

Cheers

Panache

PS: Let us know how shocked your co-workers are when they see you in pants!

[BEEDEE]

Ron,

I think it's very wise that you are already setting up a back up plan in case kilts can't be everyday work wear (start compliling that list of Celtic holidays). Good luck and keep us posted on this.

You might like to use this as a list of occasions to wear a kilt!

http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/s...light=holidays

Good Luck!

Brian

[arrogcow]

I would personally do everything possible to get the dress code to forbid women from wearing pants. See how far that goes.

Adam

[Martin S]

I would personally do everything possible to get the dress code to forbid women from wearing pants.

Adam

That does not appear very logical to me.

Would it not be better to try to get a dress code that forbids non-bifurcated garments for all employees?
Granted, that looks like the opposite of what we would like to happen, but I'm quite sure that the women, who like to be comfortable in skirts once the weather warms up, would be up in arms over a dress code that denies them the freedom of choice.

If they then get the dress code changed to regain the right to wear what they want on the basis of mere comfort, what argument could there be to deny that freedom of choice to men?

Martin

[Kilted KT]

I would personally do everything possible to get the dress code to forbid women from wearing pants. See how far that goes.

Adam

interesting thought there...

Anyway, having been the target of exactly the same type of single-mindedness, I cannot express how very much I hope this new supervisor is either not your supervisor for long, or is given the "come to jesus" talk by her managers. Either way, for you to no longer wear the kilt at a job you have held kilted for years would be a travesty.

To that end, I'll be wearing my kilt on tuesday in support of your efforts!

[Ayin McFye]

You might like to use this as a list of occasions to wear a kilt!

http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/s...light=holidays

Good Luck!

Brian

Thanks for the Great list of holidays. They will most definitely come in handy for me in the future.

Keep fighting the good fight! I was told 3 years ago at my company when I asked to wear a kilt to work on St. Patrick's day that it's not "Business Appropriate" I was fairly new at the company so i didn't want to pick a fight, but I just might wear it next year, since this year it's on a Saturday.

[macsim]

It's always nice to win but to win with style and grace is even better. Congratulations!

[Abax]

Ron,

Congratulations on a positive outcome. Can you speculate as to why your supervisor changed her mind about kilts? Was it something you said or did, or did she change her mind for some other reason?

Abax

[McClef]

Gender specific dress codes can be full of anomalies and inequalities, based on common expectations. Women get away with pants because so many of them wear them and indeed this time of year it's rare to see them in anything but.

Because kilts, alas, are not a common sight in the general male population it's an entirely different situation.

So women get the "best of both worlds" in choice whereas management/supervisors think it's OK to discriminate about what men should wear because of what most men wear.

They end up being able to give vent to their own prejudices and subjective opinions and the letter, rather than the spirit, of a dress code only helps to reinforce their prejudices.

It's not helped when so many have an idea that a kilt is only for special occasions, conducted in leisure time. Would that we could point to kilts being visible in every type of situation, including the workplace. But as this is far from being the case even in Scotland it's left to a few individuals to bear a lonely witness as and when they can in the frequency of their wearing in situations where a kilt isn't usual or expected.

I would presume that this lady is not keen on kilts herself in any circumstances or she would be taking a more conciliatory and sympathetic view to begin with. The viewpoint of the line manager is so often a lottery and it's often them, rather than the company one is working for, that tries to dictate such situations.