Immutable Laws

[Big Mikey]

I was struck by how many of the following I have experienced. Knowing that you all enjoy a chuckle, I share them with you.

Zappa's Law

There are two things on Earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.

Baruch's Observation

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Lowe's Law

Success always occurs in private, failure in full public view.

Thompson's Theorem

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Issawi's Law of Progress

A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Wellington's Law of Command

The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.

[auld argonian]

You got me looking at Zappa quotes...here's another that's pithy:

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.
Frank Zappa

Best

AA

[TheKiltedWonder]

You forgot Murphy's law!
As someone of Irish descent, I must say that I never understood why people said "luck of the Irish". Have they looked at Ireland's history? So it's only appropriate that a good Irish name would be associated with the idea that "anything that can go wrong will go wrong".

[Panache]

I would add to that


The Peter Principle:

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence

Cheers

Jamie

[Coemgen]

And then there's Godwin's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

And of course O'Toole's Corollary: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

One of my personal favourites is Nalon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

And who can forget Holfstader's Law?: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

And, finally, Parkinson's Law: Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

[arrogcow]

Fudd's first law of opposition: If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.

Teslicle's deviant to Fudd's first law: If it goes in, it will come out.

Adam

[haukehaien]

Seeing the title made this pop into my head:
"Now this is the Law of the Jungle—as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.

As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back—
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."

*goes off to reread some Kipling.*

[cacunn]

Cacunn's law - Do not try dual processing with a one track mind.

[McFarkus]

Something my mother taught me....at a party one night as people were getting progressively tipsy every one had to come up with a law and the only one she remembered she passed on to me:

"Never trust a woman" (this from my mother)

and the corollary is

"Always use a rubber" (moderators, feel free to censor if this is too sexist or off color).

[James MacMillan]

Marines First Law of Combat:

If the enemy is in range, so are you!