Trying not to get angry at co-worker

[bricelythgoe]

I am really to the point where I want to strangle one of my co-workers. Today, for valentines day, this person brought me a gift bag with pom-poms in it. He said that I could use them when I put my “skirt” on. Even his girlfriend, who was with him at the time, said I could give them to my son and he could cheer for me in his “skirt” (I plan on getting my 3 ½ year old a kilt soon). They think this is so funny, but I am not laughing. There were students present when he gave it to me, so I had to hold back a little bit. I would like to know what you guys would have done in this situation. I have to work with this guy, so I don’t want to make a big deal. However, maybe I should. Let me know what you think!

[Panache]

"How considerate of you! Unfortunately the toories on a proper Scottish bonnet are a wee bit smaller than this. Still I will look at these and think to myself that you are cheering on my Highland attire. Good day"

Cheers

Jamie

[beloitpiper]

I would've just muttered "thanks" then dropped them in the trash.

[Adam Pound]

Take a photo of his girlfriend and pin the pom poms on at strategic locations.

[cavscout]

Repackage the the pom poms and leave them on his desk with a big, easy to read from a distance note that says, "You left these at my place last night. Love Big Al"

[Mipi]

Repackage the the pom poms and leave them on his desk with a big, easy to read from a distance note that says, "You left these at my place last night. Love Big Al"

That would be something.

[DWFII]

If you can't laugh with them, you are setting yourself up for more ridicule. On the other hand, if you can't laugh at yourself, maybe you shouldn't wear a kilt. No criticism there just sayin'...take it easy.

[Nighthawk]

If you can't laugh with them, you are setting yourself up for more ridicule. On the other hand, if you can't laugh at yourself, maybe you shouldn't wear a kilt. No criticism there just sayin'...take it easy.

The problem with that is that there some people who just won't stop. You can only laugh with them for so long. I understand that some people will poke a little fun. My best friend in this life is a Native American and he and I give each other a hard time all the time on cultural issues. He'll tell me to quit wearing a skirt and I'll tell him that he should stay away from it because it's a blanket infected with malaria! (Funny aside- when he and I went camping after our high school graduation, I had bought a Coleman white gas stove. I couldn't figure it out. He took it, put it together, looked at me and said "The white man invents it; the indian has to teach him how to use it!" I've never forgotten that!) But this kind of thing is teasing between brothers, and we know when to to quit and what lines not to cross. Coworkers are a completely different situation. There comes a point where good natured teasing stops being so good natured and starts to get offensive, and can start to effect your state of mind. That's when you have to say "Hey! Enough is enough! It's not funny any more. I laughed along with you, now it's time for you to get the heck over it."

[bricelythgoe]

The problem with that is that there some people who just won't stop. You can only laugh with them for so long. I understand that some people will poke a little fun. My best friend in this life is a Native American and he and I give each other a hard time all the time on cultural issues. He'll tell me to quit wearing a skirt and I'll tell him that he should stay away from it because it's a blanket infected with malaria! (Funny aside- when he and I went camping after our high school graduation, I had bought a Coleman white gas stove. I couldn't figure it out. He took it, put it together, looked at me and said "The white man invents it; the indian has to teach him how to use it!" I've never forgotten that!) But this kind of thing is teasing between brothers, and we know when to to quit and what lines not to cross. Coworkers are a completely different situation. There comes a point where good natured teasing stops being so good natured and starts to get offensive, and can start to effect your state of mind. That's when you have to say "Hey! Enough is enough! It's not funny any more. I laughed along with you, now it's time for you to get the heck over it."

I agree. When my brother-in-law pokes fun, I know that it is just a joke. We get a long really well and he means well. I do believe this has gone beyond just a joke. I think what I will do is wear my kilt more often, just to get him riled up. Once or twice a week. What do you guys think?

[Nighthawk]

I agree. When my brother-in-law pokes fun, I know that it is just a joke. We get a long really well and he means well. I do believe this has gone beyond just a joke. I think what I will do is wear my kilt more often, just to get him riled up. Once or twice a week. What do you guys think?

One of those lines that my friend and I don't cross- ever- is making fun of each other's children. What kind of worthless coward does that? Seriously!

Next time you wear your kilt, have those poms handy so you can give him his little puff balls back. Tell him he should try to re attach them.

It never seems to end. Many of these same people would never buy a Muslim co-worker a new "Towel" for her head.

Would they make fun of any other national style of dress to the wearer's face? Why is it we live in a society that sees to think that it is okay to mock another culture?

This situation as described is the very definition of a hostile work environment. HR should have something to say about it.

The fact that it took place in front of your students makes it even worse. If your co-workers can not treat you with respect while in the presence of you students, how can the students be expected to treat you with respect.

I feel that you must demand respect from your co-worker. If they can not deliver, then you must take things to the higher level and file a formal complaint.

No, of course not. Those others are people with cultures. We're white- the only culture we have is the mayonaise on our white bread and turkey breast sandwiches. I was actually told that- that my kilt is not cultural because I'm white. And if you look at it, that's the general attitude of society. We have black this, latino that, but call something white (like a history month) and see what happens.