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7th April 09, 01:27 PM
#1
bit of a jolt, and I don't get it.
We picked up moms ashes the other day. It was Sunday afternoon. I made some noise outside the establishments door, blowing my nose, as my allergies were full-on, full-force. The door opened and one of the proprietresses of the establishment asked if we needed anything.
I haven't seen that much cleavage in a LONG time. Yes,she was wearing nice black slacks and yes the blouse was nice, but ...ahhh.. Right. Oooohhh-kay.
We went inside. The woman was perfectly helpful, no issues there at all. The office was right across from the little chapel, and I glanced in. Obviously, there was to be a viewing, as the casket was right there. The families choice of music was playing over the building sound system.
Garth Brooks, I think was one of the singers. Hank Williams, Jr. was another and I was sort of OK with it until the song "Cheater, Cheater" came on. That's right, the song with the lyrics....
oh never mind, just go to YouTube and look it up. It's actually kind of funny, but you know...like in context, maybe?
As we were leaving, the guests were entering for the viewing. All of the men wore blue jeans, most had on t-shirts. some were more or less clean, some weren't. Out in the parking lot a couple of girls in crop tops and tight jeans were smoking and screaming at each other, using a lot of four letter words.
And I just had to think....
We're going to have a memorial open house for Mom. I loved my mother in law, I miss her and when I gather with my family and friends to remember her, I'm for hella sure not going to be playing "Cheater, Cheater" on the family stereo, and I'm going to put a little effort into looking decent. Heck, Joans brother Marc actually went out and bought a new jacket, tie and shirt combination just for the Open House. He's a handsome guy, he'll look nice.
It's not going to be stuffy. We'll look at Moms art, and I know Joan will cry and I'm going to stand in the room in which she died and remember our last words and hugs. I'm going to look at pictures of Mom, sweaty and dirty on family backpacking trips and covered with clay as she worked on her art in the garage. Mom's art friends will be there, including some of the models that pose for her figure drawing class, and the young women and men...now not quite so young, that were her students. We will laugh and remember.
Just because I will look decent doesn't mean it will be boring and stuffy.
I dunno. I'm sure those folks in the muscle shirts and crop tops were nice folks. I'ms ure they loved their granddad. But I dunno. I don't get it.
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7th April 09, 01:32 PM
#2
Well brother look at it this way;;; "To each his own".
I have a saying I go by and It works well for me::
"I don't care what others do in life as long as it doesn't interfer with ME and MINE!"
I don't believe the idea is to arrive in heaven in a well preserved body! But to slide in side ways,Kilt A' Fly'n! Scream'en "Mon Wha A Ride" Kilted Santas
4th Laird of Lochaber, Knights of St Andrew,Knight of The Double Eagle
Clan Seton,House of Gordon,Clan Claus,Semper Fedilas
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7th April 09, 01:40 PM
#3
 Originally Posted by JolyStNicholas
Well brother look at it this way;;; "To each his own".
I have a saying I go by and It works well for me::
"I don't care what others do in life as long as it doesn't interfer with ME and MINE!"
Exactly. Those folks have every right to have the sort of viewing and funeral that they want to have. You bet they do. I have no doubt that they loved their Dad, or granddad, or whoever he was.
And lord knows, we don't all have to be the same. It'd be boring if we were all the same!
It's just that it was sort of a surreal 40 minutes to me, starting with the door opening and being greeting by "the girls" and proceeding from there, and it got me thinking. I don't claim this post to contain any semblance of logic!
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7th April 09, 01:47 PM
#4
That reminds me of a story an old attorney friend told me....
One of his first cases, he was defending his client for a jury trial. He had planned to meet him early on the first day of trial. In walked his client in torn jeans and a dirty old Budweiser t-shirt. His jaw dropped to the floor - he couldn't let the jury see him like this...He figured he would be sitting for most of the first day and jeans would not get much viewing -- but the shirt!!
He pulled a twenty out of his wallet and told him to go to the store across the street and get a new shirt.
Ten minutes later, in walked his client with (you guessed it) a "NEW" Budweiser T-Shirt!!!
I have given up trying to figure out what makes some people tick.
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7th April 09, 01:36 PM
#5
Well, Alan, if it makes you feel any better, I have a black suit and tie spacifically (not exclusively) for funerals. I have lost friends who requested that people not dress up for their funeral, though. It's a cultural thing...
I tried to ask my inner curmudgeon before posting, but he sprayed me with the garden hose…
Yes, I have squirrels in my brain…
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7th April 09, 01:49 PM
#6
That is a 'curious' song to play at a viewing....
On a similar note, I attended a viewing on Friday evening for a gentleman whom I have known for years. Over 600 people attended and there was not a pair of jeans in sight. The closest was the 200 or so boy scouts all in uniform to pay their respects.
Back on topic though, I am sorry to hear of your MIL's passing and my deepest sympathy to you and your bride.
Last edited by Splash_4; 7th April 09 at 01:50 PM.
Reason: Spelling erro
"A veteran, whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve, is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including my life." That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it." anon
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7th April 09, 03:28 PM
#7
I am sorry to hear of the passing of your Mother in Law. Please pass along my condolences to wife.
I find the nicest (if you can put death in that way) funerals and memorials are ones that reflect the sprit of the person who has passed. It gives those left behind that ability to share with others what that person brought to their own lives.
Your Mother in Laws Memorial sounds very fitting and I hope all find peace and enjoy sharing stories about her.
Sara
"There is one success- to be able to spend your life your own way."
~Christopher Morley
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7th April 09, 04:15 PM
#8
Oh, sorry, Alan, I didn't quite folow what you were saying. I understand how things can do that in those situations.
I tried to ask my inner curmudgeon before posting, but he sprayed me with the garden hose…
Yes, I have squirrels in my brain…
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7th April 09, 04:25 PM
#9
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
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7th April 09, 04:29 PM
#10
I tend to agree, to each their own. Personally I would be presentable. but again that is up to the will of the deceased and it's up to the family who knew them best.
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