Too much coffee

[WeaselMender]

Just for the Wizard of BC
you might have had too much coffee

You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
- Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Weasel :ootd:

[george7]

Just for the Wizard of BC
you might have had too much coffee

You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
- Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Weasel :ootd:

- The first thing you look for in an MRE is the instant coffee.

[Dall_Piobaire]

If you really want to feed that monkey, you gotta try Peet's. It's become an addiction!

[ghostlight]

You might have had too much coffee if you've hand sewn a tank...

...of the M1 Abrams variety.

[Livingston]

you might have had too much coffee if:

You use instant coffee instead of sweet n low

[GMan]

Oh dear, I actually roast my coffee beans.

[JolyStNicholas]

Well done one and all.

[Old Hippie]

Oh dear, I actually roast my coffee beans.

Hopeless.

I've actually grown, harvested, fermented, dried, roasted, ground, and cupped my own coffee.

:ootd:

[The Wizard of BC]

I'm sorry, I don't understand this thread at all.

I don't understand "Too much Coffee".

How can there possibly be too much Coffee?

And I beg to differ, but the picture on my coffee mug is not of my coffee mug. It is of the Chemical diagram for Caffeine.

In my world the only Capital Offense is throwing out a perfectly good cup of Coffee. Just scrape the scum off the top and it's drinkable.

And I know, they are everywhere, but I'm sorry, Starbucks is not Coffee.

[The Guy in the Kilt at UC]

-You short out motion detectors
-Your coffee mug has a picture of your coffee mug on it
-You use your teeth to grind your beans


In the doctor’s office, a patient asks for advice,
"Doctor, what should I do?
Every time I come home from work, I see some strange man in bed with my wife. When I start yelling at her, she just locks me in the kitchen and tells me to calm down and drink a cup of coffee. This has been happening every day for the last four months."
The Doctor replies, "So how can I help you?"
"I just want to know - am I drinking too much coffee?"