Latest Results...

[IsaacM]

Sorry for taking so long to get back, but as promised, I will share the results of my most recent attempt to get the kilt approved for Prom.

After giving him a several-times-rewritten letter, sweet and to the point, I popped in to my Principals office during lunch break a few days later. I felt mentally prepared for whatever was to come. I sat down, and listened to him as my heart hit my gut.

Basically, from what I could discern from him; although he respects the kilt, it has no place in our school's prom, or in our school at all. Yes, kilts are fancy and good for formal occasions, but it's not fit for an event like Prom. If I want to express myself by wearing a kilt, do it somewhere other than our school. If he (the principal) were to allow somebody to wear a kilt because it's special to them and ties to their Scottish heritage, then he would also have to allow someone to wear a loin cloth to prom because it's special to them and it ties to their Native american heritage.

Although I despise his decision and don't like his reasoning, I can't really put much against him anymore. It's hard to explain the situation without knowing the principal and the location I live around. Basically, what I'm asking him to do is to make an exception to the school dress code, which he will never do. (What does that leave? Changing the school dress code I guess... )

Although you never know with out principal, it's hard to tell whether his answer was an "absolutely not" or a "No, I'm not convinced". I hate to make such a big deal over this, it doesn't seem like a big dilemma from my point of view.

Who knows, I will hope for the best and look out for an opportunity, but the chances are looking very slim.

Thanks for your support guys.

[Bigkahuna]

Change after the Prom.

[xman]

If he (the principal) were to allow somebody to wear a kilt because it's special to them and ties to their Scottish heritage, then he would also have to allow someone to wear a loin cloth to prom because it's special to them and it ties to their Native american heritage.

That's BS. It's a logical fallacy called the Slippery Slope. He can make the call, he has just decided to disallow you the opportunity to wear a kilt is all. Aloin cloth is not formal wear by any standard.

When I graduated highschool there was a young honour student who had turned punk and dressed as such every day for the last two years of school. On awards day she showed up dressed in her usual punk finery and was told by the principal to go home and change out of the ratty jeans she had on. So she went home and came back in a punky skirt. At that point it was too late and she was to receive three awards so there was nothing that could be done.

I suggest you consider contacting the media, PTA, local Scottish society and whomever else you think might have an interest in this and push for your your rights. You may still lose this round, but you may also win and even if you lose you will create an embarrassment for the narrow minded principal and perhaps make things easier for the next lad who wants to dress up well in a kilt.

Sincerely and with all my support whatever you decide to do,

X

PS. This is proof that the old adage, 'It is better to beg forgiveness than ask permission' has some weight to it.

[Strider]

You could explain to him that a there is a difference between wearing a kilt and wearing a loin cloth.

Yes I know every school and principle is different. However he should look at logic. As xman said a loin cloth is not formal wear however a kilt is formal attire. Or you could pull the type of move that I would do and wear it anyway and if someone tries to tell you that you have to change make a sene about it but in a respectful manner. I wouldn't suggest this unless you wish to get suspended. Making a fool of the principal is a good way to get suspended two.

I would go with the first idea of using logic or going to the media as xman suggested.

[NewGuise]

I don’t know whether or not your principal might be the sort who cancels prom rather than letting one ‘deviant’ in – it certainly happens, even now – but, if not (and likely regardless), XMan is right. The principal has made a false analogy, and a false argument. He should be called on that. It’s pretty simple, in that respect. So, if there is any local Scottish organization, talk to them. If not, got to the press. Be nice, gentle, and persuasive. Tell them what he told you, and explain your position. Note that – while you respect him and his position on this – you cannot understand how you might offend anyone. You want to be well-dressed for prom, and this, for you as for countless others of Scottish heritage (not to mention folks such as myself, a non-Scottish professor of medieval and early modern literature and culture), means going kilted. Of course you don’t want to be pushy, or negative, or hurt anyone’s feelings, but there is this large international group of kilt aficionados pressuring you to stand up and be kilted, and you just don’t know what to do ...

[Nighthawk]

I'm with everyone else here. If you were my son, I would chaparone the prom with a camera. If I saw anyone wearing anything ethnic, I would take lots of pictures. I would get his response to your request in writing, take the photos from prom, and then I would personally go to the media, and press discrimination charges, because that's exactly what it would be. We all know perfectly well that anyone of African or Latin American heritage would be allowed to wear their ethnic clothing, and don't pretend for a minute that they would ask. They know perfectly well that we shouldn't have to! They've been fighting for and winning their right to keep their culture for 100 years or more, as have Native Americans. And that's how it should be! Those of us of European ancestry, for some reason, feel we need to ask, and we set ourselves up for the same discrimination that other ethnic groups are finally starting to break down. Get your answer in writing and take lots of pics of the FUBU gear...

[Zardoz]

If you were my son, I would chaparone the prom with a camera. If I saw anyone wearing anything ethnic, I would take lots of pictures. I would get his response to your request in writing, take the photos from prom, and then I would personally go to the media, and press discrimination charges, because that's exactly what it would be. We all know perfectly well that anyone of African or Latin American heritage would be allowed to wear their ethnic clothing, and don't pretend for a minute that they would ask. They know perfectly well that we shouldn't have to! They've been fighting for and winning their right to keep their culture for 100 years or more, as have Native Americans. And that's how it should be! Those of us of European ancestry, for some reason, feel we need to ask, and we set ourselves up for the same discrimination that other ethnic groups are finally starting to break down. Get your answer in writing and take lots of pics of the FUBU gear...

Nighthawk is on the money here. That pricipal does not "respect the kilt" comparing it to a 'loin cloth' shows he just thinks it's a weird costume. To say it plainly, If black students asked permission, or just showed up to prom in a Dashiki or Kaftan the powers that be would be scared to death to refuse them entry! They would have the news and your local black "community activists" camped out at the school.
I would go to the media. Proms seem to be quite the social battleground lately, and any media outlet you approach would love to cover you.

[denmcdough]

There's always two sides to a conflict. Many Xmemebers have voiced their opinions, and what side they'd take. Who will win? I hope our young lad will!! Maybe a compromise is the answer, whatever that might be....never a guarantee.

However, I feel that too many folks, here, are saying to give in! No way! If you truly think this is a battle worth the fight, then go for it! Too many people are willing to "give in" and not follow through. Yes, you might not win, and there might be repercussions, but did you follow your heart? It's one thing to follow through, just for being a trouble maker, but it's another thing when principle is involved! The founding fathers of the US, did they give in? Did Martin Luther give in? Did Joan of Arc give in? History is full of people who had a cause and followed through. Guess that's why they made history.

This kilted prom thing might not seem like such a big deal in the realm of things, but it's these little things that truly make life what it is, and worth fighting for.

As for the comments about the Chicago schools and their lawyers, well, I can not say how they operate, as I'm not in that state. But, in my state, which is in US Judicial District # 3, it might be a different story if it ever got that far.

As a product of the 60's, I'm the rebel with a cause. Had not my generation stood up to the US Government with all our protests, we'd probably still be in Vietnam!

Ok, just my .02 cents worth! Whatever happens, do what your heart tells you. Good luck at the prom.

[Nighthawk]

There's always two sides to a conflict. Many Xmemebers have voiced their opinions, and what side they'd take. Who will win? I hope our young lad will!! Maybe a compromise is the answer, whatever that might be....never a guarantee.

However, I feel that too many folks, here, are saying to give in! No way! If you truly think this is a battle worth the fight, then go for it! Too many people are willing to "give in" and not follow through. .

And that, sir, is my whole point. It's not just about that one night- it's about standing up for yourself and your rights! This is exactly why so many abuses of our rights take place- too many people just give in...

[wildrover]

It was, I believe, H. L. Mencken who said, "There is no point in arguing with a person whose paycheck depends on not being convinced."

I would suggest that a parent might sit down with the guy and calmly explain the situation (if one of your parents is an attorney, that'd be swell) and if the principal continues to use the "slippery slope" argument, the parent should just tell him to cut the excuses and explain what his real reason is. They might be able to come to an agreement but don't count on it.

I think that is excellent advice. It does sound like he's hiding something personal, whether bias or fear, behind official posturing. He may have an excellent, but non-PC or dubiously 'official' reason for saying no, and that reason may provide closure to the issue that officialdom cannot.

this kind of silliness over a kilt when there are meatier issues like us gays just wanting go to prom together?

I think you make an excellent point there...I wonder if the guy would be more offended by a gay couple in tuxes, or a straight couple with a guy in a kilt and a girl in a gown (with a tartan sash to match your kilt, btw! Gotta mark your territory ).

Weeeelll...the other side of things here is with guys like this, pressing the issue often has the opposite effect. Rather than pusuaded, they are angered and defensive next about your confronting the issue further. They are not only mired in their ignorance, but afraid.

Agreed. Also...it may be genuine fear of falling down a slippery slope himself, or drug bodily down it, by other special interests. If he would personally not be unhappy with your kilt, and would personally be ok with it, but feels tied by other responsibilities, you may be able to make him an ally rather than an opponent by offering to secure the approval of the people he may be afraid of. I do mean offer, not threaten.

Hard to say what the right thing would be to do at this point... It's very individual. However I WILL say that this time of year the news affiliates froth at the mouth for "prom stories." From CNN on down to the local TV station, around prom time they love to cover stories about teens who have been banned from wearing this, that or the other from their prom.

Yes they do. Also, while several people have mentioned that we have nothing to lose by encouraging you to loose the hounds, I would like to point out that this is high school, and high school matters little. Do you otherwise have a good relationship with this guy, or is he just a random administrator whose permission you needed to secure to do this? If the former, ally and don't make waves...you might find yourself asking for his recommendation in the future, and you'll be better off if his impression of you is of a professional young man willing to test the boundaries, rather than just another 21st-century media whore. If the latter, who cares? Make waves, it's only high school. Ten years from now, people will barely remember anyway, and it's not like it's part of a permanent record tattooed across your butt.

What about asking students to sign a petition saying that they'd like to see you in a kilt at prom? Take that to the school board along with your letter to the principle and a transcript of his 'reasoning'.

This is a good example of how to ensure that you have the principle's support, if he is willing to be an unofficial ally. Nighthawk's suggestion (and others) are good if your relationship with the principle and school administration is merely coincidental and you are just another punk kid.

Do you have your teachers' support? Parents? Parents of other students?

For all any of us know yours may not have been the only request to wear "festive ethnic garb"

True.

and the school's decision is based solely on a desire to prevent the prom from being turned into a costume party.

A costume party, as opposed to what? You seen prom kit these days? Prom is a costume party. As much as the Scots here hate hearing the C-word, when you dress up for the opera, the symphony, the grand poobah white tie ball, the ballet, etc...unless you are James Bond and wear a tuxedo to work, you are in costume. But that is irrelevant.

Ally with the principle somehow, or get some tartan accessories with a really top-shelf tux. How's this for a recommendation...get a tux, and get your cuff links, studs, and so forth in Burberry Check. No girl is ignorant of the look of Burberry Check, and there's a good chance you'll be more involved in preventing your date from making off with a trophy cummerbund, than you will in securing trophy panties . Also, all that kit will probably cost as much as a nice tank, so even your wallet won't feel left out .

-Sean