A question of appropriate

[Drac]

Good day all,

A couple of the Bucket List items for Amy and I want to do are attend a Mardi Gras Ball and ride in the Mardi Gras parade. One of the Krewes, Pontchartrain allows this, though granted, it's not cheap.

While talking to the contact he made it clear that I would only be allowed appropriate black tie attire. I said I have it via my kilt. For referance I have a PC, matching waistcoat, hand tie bow tie, hand made hose, gillies, hand done tam and my Lamont tank.

He said he wasn't sure if that was black tie. He will take it to the rest of the board for the Krewe but I should be expecting to get a tux if I plan to attend.

Am I feeling petty for thinking that that is a deal breaker? It feels the same as if I was told that my full dress uniform is also not black enough for the Ball.

I am planning to send a pic from when Amy and I were at last years Navy Ball to see if maybe he wasn't picturing the kit. Afterall most people seem to picture pipers as the only people who wear kilts though I would think that most of the ones I have seen seem to be well dressed.

jim

[Jock Scot]

The golden rule is that your hosts decide what the attire is going to be and it is beholden for the guest(even a paying one) to comply.

Some dress guidance if often given on the invitation, failing that discreet discussions with those have attended in earlier years and failing that, ask the host. He/she/they would much prefer a first timer to arrive correctly attired for the event as it is better FOR ALL CONCERNED if you have got it right. Have fun.

[Zardoz]

I attend an exclusive black-tie only Marti Gras ball in formal kilt kit here in Houston every year with no issues. I never ask permission for anything, I just showed up one year, and nobody cared. There are usually one or two other guys in kilts every year as well.
If you need to give them some additional supporting evidence, reference the Black Tie Guide's section on Highland attire; http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Scottish.htm

[macwilkin]

I have a good friend who is a member of the Caledonian Societies of New Orleans & Baton Rouge; I'll send the OP to him and see what his reaction is. One thing to keep in mind; NOLA krewes are generally very "high society"/Creole elite and fairly rigid in dress codes, etc. That's one of the reasons why Harry Connick Jr. started his own as an alternative to Comus, Rex, etc.

T.

[Drac]

Thank you for the replies.

Jock, very nice way of saying "Yes, you're being petty." It is their party first and formost. I will hope that after I send a pic and Zardoz link that they decide that it is appropriate but I am not wanting to make this an internet attack at the Krewe.

As Cajunscot said these are normally closed orginizations and that Pontchartrain opens its doors to outsiders is a rarity.

Jim

[macwilkin]

I received permission to post my friend's comments regarding NOLA Krewes:

I'm not surprised, this is pretty normal for many of the Mardi Gras Krewes. I attended [a] Ball* a few years back and there were two of us who were allowed to wear Formal Highland attire. We were the the first men ever allowed to wear formal attire other than the usual tux with black tie. These Balls will turn you away if you are not correctly dressed. Usually military mess dress is permitted as an alternative BUT, I'd ask first! I'd suggest that the writer submit photos of himself in proper formal Highland attire. It wouldn't hurt to send photos of men in the usual tux with himself in Highland attire. This would show the legitimacy of what he is proposing.


Many of the Krewes are very "old school" and often a bunch of "blue haired" old ladies. Most just need educating about the interchangeability of Highland formal for a tux, or tails, etc. Some of these Balls are not really as "fuddy duddy" as they may seem and some allow men to wear festive vests and ties with their tuxes.

*direct reference removed.

T.

[Jay]

I don't think you are being petty. I think you are being childish. You are saying that you wont attend if you can't wear a kilt. Guess what? Most people don't recognize kilts as formal at all. If the dress code is black tuxedo, then you wear a black tuxedo. End of discussion.

Now that doesn't mean a kilt isn't formal. Just not recognized as such.

Please don't take this as an attack as it is not intended as such. More of a "devil's advocate" position

[AFS1970]

I do not think you are being childish or petty in any way. However Jock i=s right when he says that the host sets the dress code. You have done the right thing in asking and offering photos as clarification. In the end it will still be up to the krewe to decide what they will allow. I have a feeling that were the float part of the Caledonian society this would be a non issue, but it is not and so it remains an issue.

As for you not going if you can not wear the kilt, well that is a choice that I am not sure any of us can help you make. You have said this is a bucket list item and thus something of some importance to you. I hope you do not have to choose, but if you do then you have to decide if riding on this float is more important than wearing the kilt is to you, even if it is for just one night. Perhaps the fact that this is just for one night will actually make it easier to choose, as checking this item off your list will have little to no effect on your future kilt wearing.

[Phil]

As Jock says it is the host's prerogative to decide the dress code. If you don't agree with it then you don't go - simple as that.

[thescot]

Jock is quite right. havaing lived in NOLA myself, I can tell you that things work with their own rules there especially. However, it's always the host's perogative to require dress, just as it's the guest's perogative to either comply or send regrets. That's why I have a tux in the closet: just in case!

Photos are a good idea since kilts are not well known in NOLA. Personally, I'd avoid the thing like the plague since I never enjoyed Mardi Gras. But, a bucket list is a bucket list, and that is something I understand. I'm still holding out for that trans-Atlantic sailing event!

If you are accepted, I would counsel a fairly conservative kilted outfit; no tartan jackets or anything not basically black and white. It is not, afterall, a Highland event. It'll make things much easier, and, as stated, you could be turned away at the door if you are not in accord with preconceived ideas. In this sort of situation, I try to keep it plain when around those not used to Highland attire.