handfasting

[Tenire]

So, I found the lass of my dreams.... we have decided that we want to have a handfasting and a wedding when we buy our home. (She's so sensible that way!)

My question is this. Since I haven't been able to trace my lines further than the Depression to my ancestor's crossing, would it be wrong of me toadopt HER family's tartan, or to adopt something modern like TX Bluebonnet or an American tartan as my own?

I recognize that this is a deeply personal thing, and therefore am a little nervous about how to proceed.

My next question is on how to dress. Exactly HOW fancy should one dress for this?

I am grateful for any insight this forum can share with me...

[B R Gordon]

From the little that I know about the handfasting ceremony, it may be any level of formality. The level of formality is determined by you and your wife, to be.

[davidlpope]

I'm not acquainted with "handfasting", so can't be of help there, but in America the formality of a wedding is determined by the time of day in which it occurs. Formal (black tie) at noon and after six, informal (suit) otherwise.

[SlackerDrummer]

I'm not acquainted with "handfasting", so can't be of help there, but in America the formality of a wedding is determined by the time of day in which it occurs. Formal (black tie) at noon and after six, informal (suit) otherwise.

In America, you will see black tie being worn by the wedding party at all times of day by the vast majority of people. The notion that "formal" weddings are for noon or after six has not been the case for more than 30 years. I don't believe it can any longer be considered "traditional" in the sense of ongoing tradition.

[davidlpope]

In America, you will see black tie being worn by the wedding party at all times of day by the vast majority of people. The notion that "formal" weddings are for noon or after six has not been the case for more than 30 years. I don't believe it can any longer be considered "traditional" in the sense of ongoing tradition.

Perhaps it depends on where one is located. At the recent weddings that I've been to during the morning and afternoon the groom and attendants have worn morning dress.

[SlackerDrummer]

Perhaps it depends on where one is located. At the recent weddings that I've been to during the morning and afternoon the groom and attendants have worn morning dress.

Maybe, but also I think it must depend on where you glean your advice. I have been to many weddings in the Eastern US mostly in Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky. With two exceptions (one of which was a second marriage and low-key; the other a high-society wedding and morning dress) all were black tie for the wedding party regardless of the time of day. I did go to a wedding in Cape Cod where the men were in khakis and sport coats, but it was also on the water and the bride wore a flowered cocktail dress. Any time spent looking at the work of wedding photographers, brides' magazines, bridal shows, etc. will inform you that the tuxedo in various forms is the go-to attire for a wedding party in modern America. I never suggested that morning dress was a dead tradition, but it is the exception to the rule. I understand that you wore morning dress at your wedding and likely you and your friends (assuming you did not crash the recent weddings you attended) have been informed by the same influences. I don't know why you shy away from the idea that you are not commonplace.

[ScotFree]

A handfasting brings to mind more of a Jacobite style of dress rather than the formal Prince Charlie getup. But, we need more details to give a more specific answer, such as where is the wedding to be held, what time of day, how will your lady be dressed ... stuff like that.

[Tenire]

Heaven knows I'm not a suit-guy!!

Were I to leave it all up to her, we'd be sneaking into the chapel at Tx Rennaisance Festival with the High Priestess and our dearest friends and having it there, or back at camp with our friends. This would, unfortunately, leave out several important family members who just plain wouldn't DO TRF and would be severely butthurt about being excluded. Ergo, the date and time and place are still up in the air. It will most certainly be held outdoors. After that, likely in the afternoon, and probably in the fall. TX hill country if I can get away with it.

[Zardoz]

The Handfastings I've presided over have been pretty informal do's in camp at faire. But I've attended some more formal ones including a "mixed marriage" ceremony in a church that had a priest, rabbi, and wicca priestess as officials. Me, if I had to do it again it would be in the Seven Sisters at Sherwood Forest Faire.

PS- I like the idea of using the Bluebonnet tartan, that is likely what I would go with. But you don't have to use tartan cloth, cords of colors significant to the couple are often used.

[kilted guys wife]

I will let the gents help you with your tartan choice but as for the rest of of it unless you are trying to be historical or traditional do what you want. It's your day (and your lady) together the two of you will come up with something that speaks to you and when you find it you should not worry about what some protocol stickler thinks.me and mine did a handfasting outdoors in the afternoon but we went full formal me in the big whit dress and him in his kilt with the prince charlie jacket.