Fly plaid etiquette?

[Cyd]

I thought I knew all the "do's and don'ts" of fly plaids, but apparently not. There seems to be an entirely different set of criteria for when this accessory is appropriate here in the United States. Can someone please comment and enlighten me? I have seen more fly plaids in the past year than I did in the previous 27 in Scotland. I actually like the added colour, but when is it appropriate here?

[Father Bill]

My observation seems to be that in the Excited States anything and everything goes. Less so in Canada, much less so in Great Britain.

I'm SURE that I'll be corrected, but it seems to be a sliding scale.

[Tomak]

Two years ago when I decided to wear the kilt, I came here first to find out what is "proper" when wearing the kilt. As a result, I was under the impression that it would normally only be worn at my wedding. Imagine my surprise when I attended a Burn's Supper and fully 60% of the men attending were wearing fly plaids. My wife LOVES how the fly plaids look, so when I ordered my 8 yard wool kilt, she bought me a fly plaid as well. The only occasion I have worn it, was this year's Burn's Supper where again 60%+ were wearing them. So I would agree with Father Bill (from my admittedly limited observations), here in the states the rules seem to be a bit different.

[Cyd]

Thanks Tomak. You are smart to purchase a plaid with your kilt to make sure they match in colour and sett. I do the same, I just don't generally find an event where I am important enough to justify the plaid.... at least until now after I have moved to the US, when it looks like I can wear it. I just need to figure out when.

I know the rules are different. Just trying to figure out what the rules here are. I had a similar experience to you at your Burn's supper. That would never happen in Scotland! When I graduated from University (English) the first time, no fly plaid. When I graduated from university the second time (Ph.D., Scottish) fly plaids were expressly prohibited. Only the Chancellor and vice-Chancellor wore fly plaids. When I graduated from university the third time (law, American) nobody cared.

Similar for weddings. I attended a wedding in Missouri. The groom was Scottish and at least half the male attendees wore highland dress, most with pc and at least half with fly plaids! In Scotland, showing up the groom like that would be the height of poor taste. Only the groom and those he elects are supposed to wear fly plaids. It is a different world, and it is somewhat amusing to read the threads on dress etiquette here when it obviously varies so much from country to country.

I'm not looking to make or change rules, just follow them. I don't want to feel under/overdressed and I don't want anyone cringing when I walk into the room. The take home is be aware of local custom and when in doubt, ask. So I am asking.

[Damion]

In Scotland, showing up the groom like that would be the height of poor taste. Only the groom and those he elects are supposed to wear fly plaids.

I've always been of the opinion that if the bride and groom can so easily be outdone by a guest then they didn't put enough effort into their own clothing.
In regards fly plaids, if someone can feel they're being upstaged by a piece of tartan draped over the shoulder then their own efforts must be minimal and perhaps that is what needs to change - away with the bare minimum and in with some real traditional attire.

[Cyd]

Setting aside for a moment how "traditional" a fly plaid might be... If you insist on wearing traditional garments in a non-traditional way, whether in the name of personal freedom or otherwise, you are mocking the tradition.

[Cyd]

That is consistent with my observation. Again, no judgement call here, but I have seen things here in the US that would make people back in Scotland cringe. The thing is that if I fall back to the more conservative approach, I am decidedly underdressed here which could elicit the same cringe effect!

It is not so much "what is correct" but what is correct for the society you find yourself in. I would rather know the respective rules so no one is cringing or feeling out of place regardless of the venue.

[usonian]

I have not been to a lot of specifically Scottish-themed events (Burns suppers or Highland Games for example) but what I've observed in my neck of the woods in the United States is that there are two extremes of kilt-wearers... there's a pub not too far from me that has a weekly kilt night. The few times I've been, it's been well-attended but most of the participants seem to have basically gone out and bought a $50 acrylic kilt that they wear with their usual t-shirts, scrunched down sweatsocks and sneakers; no sporran, belt or other specific accessories.

On the other hand, when I see someone wearing a kilt in a dressier situation there does seem to be a tendency to go over the top with prince charlie jackets, fly plaids, ghillie brogues, dirks, clan crest pins, belts and waistcoats at the same time, brooches, etc. In both cases it seems like the result of a limited interest or attention span for learning about highland dress; it's easy to go online and either buy a cheapo kilt for $50, or a super-deluxe "authentic" complete highland package with every last bell and whistle for hundreds/thousands of dollars, and never give it another thought. It's easy for us to forget that most people don't really know or care about all the minutia that gets obsessed over here.

For those who buy a one-stop super-dressy package, I expect it's also a case of "I'm only going to wear this a couple of times a year, so I might as well make it count;" X-Markers aside, I don't think many American kilt wearers would ever bother putting together a full range of daywear/semi-formal/formal highland outfits and accessories.

[masonpiper]

I have 3 Plaids, 2 fly and 1 Piper. One Fly Plaid was part of the uniform of an organization I was Head of for a year. The top 3 officers and past heads are expected to wear the fly plaid as part of their attire at a meeting. That plaid is also the same set as my only "family" tartan so it will come out on very formal affairs, maybe 1-2 times a year. I have a Pittsburgh Steeler Plaid to go with my Steeler Tartan kilt and wear it with a guillie shirt to the pubs on game day, its all about black and gold. As for the Wallace Piper's Plaid, I wear it some times for solo piping.
All of that said, I find them a pain as they are always catching on something or are getting in the way

[Cyd]

usonian you are undoubtedly right. There is a large population in both directions that just doesn't give a damn. The funny thing is that even amongst those that do care there is quite a disparity. I have seen posts on this very board display 18th century paintings and lithographs of some really outlandish outfits and claiming this is a basis for similar attire on a formal occasion without the slightest bit of consideration that what they are looking at is a painting and the center of attention IS the guy in the painting who therefore is quite entitled to include every bauble and trinket in his attire. It is hardly proof that this is appropriate for your average white tie attendee!

Or maybe in the US it is. Which is fine. I just want to know because I do care about appropriateness and I would be just as upset to turn up to an American function following Scottish etiquette, being under dressed and risk offending my host, as I would be to attend a Scottish function following American etiquette, being overly dressed and risk offending my host.

Pub nights are quite a different issue. I am pretty sure the only rules anywhere are don't drink and drive, with even fighting being optional at some events.