Musician Jokes

[KD Burke]

In another thread OC Richard mentioned a few classic musician jokes. It got me to thinking of the ones I appreciate...

For example:

What do you do if you find a drummer standing on your doorstep?

Pay him for the pizza...He'll leave.

Or:

What do you throw to a guitarist who's fallen overboard?


His amplifier.

Do YOU have any good musician jokes?

[ShaunMaxwell]

Here are a few of questionable quality...

What’s the difference between a lawnmower and a saxophone?

You can tune a lawnmower.

What’s the definition of a gentleman?

A man who could play the saxophone, but chooses not to.

What’s the difference between Northumbrian smallpipes and the great Highland bagpipes?

The Northumbrian smallpipes burn hotter, but the great Highland bagpipes burn longer.

There was an accordion player who was going out for a drink after a show with his friend and was nervous about leaving his instrument in the car as he didn't want to get it stolen. His friend told him it was alright and nobody would try to steal an accordion. After a night of drinking they walk back to the car and notice a window is broken. The musician is mad at his friend for letting him leave the instrument until they get to the car and find two accordions.

[Katia]

Why is a viola called "bratsch" in German?

Because that's the noise it makes when you sit on it.


(Yes, I play viola. I'm allowed. )

[Macman]

We'd need a whole new thread for viola jokes!

[KD Burke]

How does a soprano change a light bulb?

She holds the bulb up, and the world revolves around her.

[Ninehostages]

What else do you call a Saxophone?

" ... an ill wind that nobody blows good."