Kilted at a funeral

**KiltedCodeWarrior** · 4th February 06, 08:24 AM

First, I want to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who provided their words of encouragement and advice on this thread. The members of this forum are truly supportive of everything that happens in our lives, not just kilt wearing.

The remainder is going to be a little long, lots to say and share.

Anyway, I did not have any concerns about going to the funeral in a kilt, but when I went home to pack, my wife asked if I was going to wear my black pinstripe suit. I said no, and she asked what I was going to wear. I replied a kilt and and my Argyll jacket. She got upset and said that it was not about me and I should not call attention to myself. Which surprised me somewhat as I don't wear a kilt to call attention to myself. Anyway, she was concerned that I would not be perceived as being respectful to my uncle and would cause a distraction at the funeral. I did not respond then, but when I packed, I did include both my Blackwatch kilt and Argyll jacket, as well as the suit, which left my options open. When I got to Ft. Myers (where my uncle and family live) I spend my first few hours with my Dad, talking about the loss of his brother, how he was handling it, reminiscing, etc.. As I was getting ready to go to my hotel, I mentioned that I was planning on wearing a kilt and jacket to the funeral, but if he thought that would be a problem, I would not. He said that wearing a kilt was part of who I am and he would not ask anybody to change who they are to come to the funeral. Which made me feel very good. So here is the pic. My father is the one on the center left (greay shirt) and his older brother is next to him on the right (red shirt), and my uncle's 17 year old son is on the left side. He will stay with my Dad's older brother until he is old enough to be on his own. Good thing there is lots of family in the area.

I got no bad comments about the kilt, and was actually told by many people that they thought it looked good, and in talking with my uncle, I found out a surprising bit of family genealogy that I will post on another thread. I did have one older friend of the family, who has known me since I was 8 or 9, walk up and say Hi, then immediately ask "Blackwatch?", I said yes and then noticed that he was wearing a Blackwatch tartan tie with his suit! I did not have time to chat with him much, but I want to as he definiteley was familiar with kilts because the next question he asked me is if I was wearing a sghian dhub! I was not, don't own one yet, but was impressed that he knew enough about the kilt to inquire.

**cessna152towser** · 4th February 06, 08:35 AM

A very tasteful outfit, indeed. The black watch tartan is a suitably subdued colour for the occasion and is complemented by the black hose and black jacket. Nowadays I usually wear my black kilt to attend funerals, but like your wife, I used to think wearing a kilt to a funeral would look like trying to draw attention to myself. Then one day about ten years ago I went to a friend's funeral in Edinburgh wearing a dark trouser suit and there were about half a dozen guys there wearing dark kilts, so ever since then I usually wear a dark kilt when I go to a funeral. At wife's cousin's funeral in Fort William a couple of years ago there were quite a lot of guys attended wearing kilts, including the husband of the deceased who wore a kilt in his family tartan.

**Riverkilt** · 4th February 06, 08:50 AM

Ya done good KCW,

Think I've done three funerals kilted now and EACH time have that same fear your wife had. But what's in my heart is what's important and I've wound up going kilted.

EACH time I have been complimented for honoring the dead friend by wearing the kilt. Never been accused of wanting to be the center of attention.

At the last funeral a couple weeks ago the dead lady's father couldn't thank me enough. He was of Scottish descent and he felt it really honored his daughter. Ironically, I wore the X Marks the Scot tartan. He asked what tartan it was and rather than try to explain I just told him I chose it because it had the Alcoholics Anonymous colors of blue, yellow, and white. His daughter was an AA friend with 3 years sober when she died (Hep C) and he teared up at the honor.

If I would have gone in a dour suit, he would have missed that.

Ron

**pdcorlis** · 4th February 06, 08:55 AM

Beyond the clothes - which look very repectful indeed - I'm sure you were a great comfort to your family.

**mbhandy** · 4th February 06, 08:42 PM

Have to agree the Blackwatch Looks Great and it did connect with other members of the family.

MrBill

**michael steinrok** · 4th February 06, 08:47 PM

My condolences to you and your family. Your Da sounds like a good man.
Best wishes to all of you.

Slainte Miichael

**KiltedCodeWarrior** · 4th February 06, 09:29 PM

Ron,

Thanks, your view echoes my own. I was wearing the kilt because that is what I wear, period. I wore the USAK BW because it waf a formal kilt that expressed my resepct for my uncle.

And I am not one to get teared up myself, but your story about your lady friend and her father touched me, and got me there. Peace, brother.

RJI

**Alan H** · 4th February 06, 09:37 PM

Sometimes what we wear is almost irrelevant. It's who we are that counts.

Good on ya.

**NewKilt** · 4th February 06, 11:26 PM

I'm sorry for your's and your family's loss. Your attire looks very respecful, and you certainly wear it as such.

I'm afraid I'm going to be faced with the decision of whether or not to wear a kilt to a funeral. My father-in-law's health is rapidly deteriorating, and I would be surprised if he survives until the end of the year. Since, this is my wife's father, when the time comes I'll talk to my wife about how she feels about my wearing a kilt to her father's funeral, and will respect her wishes. If my wife is ok with it, then I'll wear the Irish National out of respect for my father-in-law. My wife and her family are have a strong Irish heritage.

Darrell

**Kilted_John** · 5th February 06, 01:17 AM

KCW, sorry to hear about your uncle's passing.

Anyway, the last funeral I attended was my grandmother's funeral in September of 2004. She was 100% Russian. That said, I wore my MacKenzie tartan kilt, with black hose, tartan flashes, a pair of black Doc Martens boots that were polished up, a black shirt and my black leather jacket. No one minded. Not even some Russian friends of my grandmother's. Only got positive comments.

Next time there's a funeral I have to attend, I will do it in the same manner as I did it last time, except, hopefully I'll have a black traditional kilt to wear, instead of relying on the MacKenzie kilt. That way, everything is black, and it won't be as casual as it would be with my black survival UK.
-J