Navajo Women

[Riverkilt]

This is kind of culturally complicated, and it was negative, so I hesitated to post it. But after Derek's post about the old miners, figured what the heck so here it is.

The reality of kilt wearing is there is the occasional negative comment or situation. This one was more complex than most.

To help understand you need to know that Navajo culture is at its core a matriarchy and women are very powerful, and used to wielding that power.

My girlfriend and I were deep on the Navajo Reservation last Saturday. We stopped for lunch at a diner. Seating was about what you'd expect in any diner/restaurant. I'm in my RAF Kilt. We sat down and ordered. Most other folks in the diner were Navajo families but there were a few tourists.

After we ordered and were chatting our teenage Navajo waiter comes up to me and is obviously very ill at ease. He nearly whispers/mumbles that the Navajo lady over in the corner has asked me to please be careful how I am seated.

I am facing that direction. My kilt is at its full length seated. The gap between my legs is not facing her. Even if it was, there is no way that she could possibly see all the way up my kilt to my boys. It is a cold snowy day.

My first reaction is that it is a joke, that I know this lady from somewhere and she is making fun. I expect to encounter a former client. But I don't recognize the lady. The poor waiter is beside himself. He has been "ordered" by a Navajo woman to do something and as a Navajo youth he knows he "has" to carry out the chore.

I reassured him it is not possible for anyone to see anything and he went on about his business. As I studied the woman I could see she was the obvious matriarch of about five children seated with her from toddler age to preteen. She of course ignored me.

Sadly, not wanting to offend, I had brief thoughts of what if somehow I had accidently exposed myself and had truely offended her? Or, knowing the power and attitude of such Navajo women, that she would call the Navajo Nation police and have me arrested as a flasher.

Of course all those insane thoughts passed with the reality check that my kilt was the proper length and I was seated properly. The lady and her children finally finished their meals and left without comment.

When my lady and I finished I spoke to the young waiter and said I was sorry that lady made you come over to me and say that, and reassured him that nothing was visible and that if somehow it had been then I'd be an adult movie star. That brought a brief chuckle for him and he seemed relieved.

As I've thought the incident through the bottom line for me seems to be the power and control base that Navajo women have. She was probably "warning" me being ignorant of Scottish culture. She may have been protective of her kids fearing I was a flasher waiting for a chance to pounce on her and her kids. But whatever was in her mind, I can't think of any other culture where a woman in her 30s would have asked a teenage waiter to carry such a message to an elder in his 60s.

And no, it wasn't the place for me to make any statements about cultural insensitivity. Which is sad, because Navajo people have a lot in common with Scottish people. We were both conquered. We both were told not to speak our language or wear our Traditional garments. We both have a strong clan system. We were both rounded up and sent far from our homes....Navajos did get to come back from their long walk. Few Scots returned from the clearances.

Ironically, later that night we were at the local high school auditorium to see a movie premier. During the same time there was a basketball game at the other end of campus. When we left the parking lot was crowded from both events. A car sped past and I thought a teenage Navajo boy shouted "I like your dress!" I automatically responded pleasently, "Thank you!" But it looked like he gave me the finger.

It was dark, but my lady was behind me so I asked her if the guy had flipped me off. She said, "No, it was a girl - and she gave you a thumbs up."

So hey, maybe the coming generation of Navajo women will be more kilt friendly than one Navajo lady in one restaurant in Tsegi Canyon, Arizona.

Ron

[McMurdo]

Sounds like quite the adventure, I guess you have to take the good with the bad.

[Splash_4]

Nice story Ron and one we should all remember. Not all negative comments come from folks trying to be jerks. Sometimes it can be a cultural thing. While not exactly the same, I had dealing with a young man from Guatemala this week that just could not understand why any guy would wear a skirt.... Much less one at 6'1 290.

It took about 30 minutes to finally explain it to him.

[Warlock]

Being Native American I know how Matriarchal a Society it can be. I've never been to a Reservation but My Chief and Chief Elder are not fond of them.

[Dreadbelly]

I spent a good bit of time as a child on reservations.

NEVER AGAIN.

The thumbs up part made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

[Warlock]

Dread, you LOOK warm and fuzzy!

[Navyguy]

Win soe, loose some.

[BarefootScott]

I spent a good bit of time as a child on reservations.

NEVER AGAIN.

I concur. I lived for 2-3 years on a rental property in the Seneca reservation in Salamanca, NY, as a wee lad when my parents were in between houses, and although I don't remember much, I remember not liking the town at all. I still cringe whenever I drive through. It has really gone downhill in just my short lifetime (21 yrs.).

[ranchergal8]

Being Native American I know how Matriarchal a Society it can be. I've never been to a Reservation but My Chief and Chief Elder are not fond of them.

Hi. Thanks for your observations. This particular noted above-interesting since no. 1 there are over 530 native tribes in the US. So I'm sure it reflects this particular person's POV - but it would help if he would ID his tribe. In the post, you've noted the power of Navajo women - that is clearly misleading. Women have a concern for their society / their family. For this lady to point this out to you, she just wanted to make sure that your conduct is very important, not just for her kids but society in general. Whereas, in American society, it's always the individual, so you were looking at it as, you, not in the context of the group / society. So although I am in the city, I know when I step over there, I have to make the adjustment. I'm sure it's no different if you were in a different country ie. middle east. Just so you know, in American society, women can have great influence on their family members ie. children, spouse and in social circles, unfortunately, that is not highly valued by American society. But I do see some non-native women recognize this. All native societies have differences in relating within the tribe, socially and politically, as inter-tribal contacts. Thx.

[Tattoo Bradley]

Hi. Thanks for your observations. This particular noted above-interesting since no. 1 there are over 530 native tribes in the US. So I'm sure it reflects this particular person's POV - but it would help if he would ID his tribe. In the post, you've noted the power of Navajo women - that is clearly misleading. Women have a concern for their society / their family. For this lady to point this out to you, she just wanted to make sure that your conduct is very important, not just for her kids but society in general. Whereas, in American society, it's always the individual, so you were looking at it as, you, not in the context of the group / society. So although I am in the city, I know when I step over there, I have to make the adjustment. I'm sure it's no different if you were in a different country ie. middle east. Just so you know, in American society, women can have great influence on their family members ie. children, spouse and in social circles, unfortunately, that is not highly valued by American society. But I do see some non-native women recognize this. All native societies have differences in relating within the tribe, socially and politically, as inter-tribal contacts. Thx.

HAHA.
Welcome.
What an introduction, eh?