The XMTS Limmericks Thread

[Bob C]

There once was a man dressed in tartan.
He ate curry and found himself fartin'.
He said with a curse,
"It could be much worse."
At least I have not started shartin'!"

[Panache]

On most kilted poetry the Mods are keen
And so far so good it would seem

However a limerick thread
Is one the Moderators generally dread

So let's all try to keep them clean!


Cheers

Jamie and the Mod Squad

[Paul]

great Limmerick there!

A Glaswegian called Paul was conflicted
by trousers as his legs were restricted
Being a young Scotsman; he tried kilts and loved them
And now young Paul is ADDICTED!

(middle part never really rhymed but be adveturous on the pronounciation of "loved them" and it sounds good ;))

[Mrs. Farlander]

My darling husband is built
with fine legs for wearing the kilt
all the lasses smile and wink
and I am restrained, I think
to make sure no blood is spilt!

[Colonel MacNeal]

There was a fit man in a kilt,
Lasses wondered how well he was built,
They waited till dark,
Stole a look in the park,
But were terribly burdened by guilt.

[bigdad1]

When Sydnie said “Bigdad be kilted.”
I answered “me Darlin’ you’re tilted”
But I gave it a try
And soon, by and by
I became regimentally stilted.

[bigdad1]

Being asked to keep my limericks clean
Has frazzled and dazzled my bean
For by their very nature
And bizarre nomenclature
They are more entertaining obscene

[piperdbh]

Clean limericks can be a test,
For we oft think the dirty ones best!
A challenge it be
For the poet to see
If his lim'rick can best all the rest.

The Mods try to keep this site clean,
And (for the most part) it has been.
But one little slip
Can sink a great ship,
Or start such a disturbing scene.

So let us all give it a try
To keep this thing clean. Oh, and I
Am all out of rhyme,
And right now is time
To lie down in my bedddie-bye.

[Kilted-Keith]

There was a young shepherd named Stu
That would sing as his work he would do
In a glen so deep
He would sing to his sheep
Hey MacLeod get off of my ewe*


* The Scottish version of the stones song - "Hey you get off of my cloud"

[Colonel MacNeal]

There once was a sweet lass named Honor,
And all of the lads wanted on her,
Her da had a pistol,
And quick as a whistle,
The first bloke that tried was a goner.