I'm in Shoe Size Hades

[CDNSushi]

I figured I'd share this little anecdote with the rabble today.

It's really nothing new -- we've seen vanity sizing in both men's and women's clothing for years... And even if it weren't "vanity" sizing as such, no two manufacturers seem to agree on a standard system of measurement.

I thought shoes were different though. They're not. When I decided I wanted to buy some new boots for this fall/winter, I entered a Dantean circle of hell that I couldn't have imagined. Not only do manufacturers each seem to define shoe sizes differently, but even international shoe size charts do not seem to agree whatsoever.

This whole affair was brought about by the fact that I live in Lilliput, and the Lilliputian shoe sizes are simply inadequate here. If I want anything more than just a simple running shoe, I pretty much have to have it shipped in from abroad. But how to determine the correct size, as I will not have the privilege of trying anything on before I shell out a ton of cash for both the boots themselves and shipping?

My most logical premise, was to simply just measure my feet, and then using that raw measurement (in centimeters or inches) convert into whatever size I would need -- European sizing for something ordered from Europe, and US sizing for something ordered from the U.S. Well, it's nowhere NEAR that simple.

First of all, measuring one's feet is a challenge. If I had access to a Brannock Device, all would be cool... And searching Google for ways to measure your foot size yields some of the most ridiculous methods I've ever seen. 99% of them suggest standing on a piece of paper, tracing your foot with a pencil, measuring the markings from toe to heel, then subtracting 3/16" for the diameter of the pencil. There are SO many things wrong with that method, it's hard to know where to begin. It's nearly impossible to ensure that your pencil remains perpendicular at all times for starters, not to mention the fact that you are measuring something soft and irregularly-shaped... So I adopted a slightly more direct method. I figured that next best thing to a Brannock Device would be to imitate one the best way possible. I put my foot between two bricks, ensured they were square, then measured the length between the two bricks with a tape measure. So far so good... 28.0 cm... Measured the width of my foot the same way: 10.2cm.

Now the fun part... Finding ANY two charts on the Internet that match... Long story short -- I couldn't. After hours of research, I determined that my US shoe size is anywhere from a men's 10 to 11, European 42.5 to 44.5, UK 9.5 to 10.5. Which doesn't help AT ALL.

Even just simple running shoes aren't simply the size printed. If I order:

Nike, I'm a EUR 44 / UK 9 / US 10.
K-Swiss, EUR 43 / UK 9 / US 10
New Balance EUR 44 / UK 9.5 / US 10

Broadening this further, past the realm of running shoes, it gets even better.

According to brogueshoes.co.uk: EUR 42.5 / UK 8.5 / US 9.5
"Tim's Boots": EUR 44.5 / UK 10 / US 11
Zappos: EUR 44 / UK 10.5 / US 11
Overstock.com: EUR 43.5 / UK 9 / US 9.5

And it goes on, and on, and on, and on, and ON.

The ONLY sizes that actually made any sense were the Japanese sizes (which uses the raw centimeter measurement -- which is great, but good luck finding a size 28 shoe around these parts), and Mondopoint (which is an ISO standard, and used by NATO, which is also great, but who the heck uses Mondopoint???)

In the end, I think I will simply just find the style and make of boot I want, then e-mail the company with my raw foot measurement and have THEM tell ME what size I should order. But even then I'm not entirely convinced that I won't end up with an ill-fitting item.

Have any of the rabble had a similar experience? Or more generally, who among us has ordered shoes or boots over the Internet? How did it turn out? Did they fit? Were they true to size? I'm really, really curious.