I have more than one good story on this topic, but I'll start with this one.

I was living in Philadelphia and had just returned from picking up my kilt from Maggie McConnell at Highland Heritage in Delaware. There was a street fair in the Manayunk section of town not far away, so I decided to get on with it, kilted up and out the door I went.

The first time out kilted is, I think, a bit nerve-wracking, especially if undertaken alone. I was very conscious of every glance, and was actually practicing answers to The Question. It came up a few times, and all I did was look her (always her) straight in the eye and say No..? As if to wonder what other answer there could be. I tried smiling coyly, but I probably looked more irked.

Reaching the far end of the street, I decided I was done. Headed back out Main Street toward my place, on the sidewalk, nearing a bar with tables outdoors. Some folks were standing around, including two couples directly ahead of me.

As I approached, one of the women laid down on the sidewalk, face up, across my path.

Stepping close, I stopped, bent at the waist and asked if I could help.

"You know what I want!" Came the answer, only a little slurred and smelling lightly of hops.

So I stepped over her head, pausing only slightly, then continued on my way with nary a glance back. My memory is that she said something in appreciation, but we all do gild those fonder passages, no?

Next time: Recalling 'Fa*kin' English' history and the red-faced boyfriend.

-G