An Open Question for 'Jock Scot' (and Scots)

[O'Searcaigh]

Gentlemen, it seems there is an at least implicit if not explicit implication in all this about what one "should" or "should not" do regarding the wearing of a kilt. My professional background impels me to ask: What kind of "should" could this possibly be? There are ethical, moral and legal "shoulds" (e.g., "You should treat others as you would wish to be treated." "You should tell the truth under oath." etc.) and there are cultural and aesthetic shoulds (e.g., "You shouldn't wear white after Labor Day." "You shouldn't mix your peas and mashed potatoes when you eat them." etc.). There are also "shoulds" of practical recommendation (e.g., "You should keep the engine of your car lubricated.".) The first kind are matters of duty; the second are matters of taste; the third, just practical advice. Confusing one kind of "should" with another has caused a lot of both personal and interpersonal distress. Moreover, when someone holds any kind of "should" with an attitude of its being a demand, it usually ends up generating anger which is why many cognitive behavioral therapists recommend the saying: "I will not should on myself or anyone else today" to their anger prone patients/clients. Unless I am missing something, all the issues here are matters of personal taste or at most a particular -- and perhaps peculiar in the sense of not being universal -- perspective about cultural mores. Jock Scot has not, as far as I can tell, demanded that anyone do anything; he has simply responded honestly to a question posed to him about his take on an issue of cultural propriety and personal taste and he should (hmmm... what kind is that one?) be honored that his opinion is apparently valued. However, I don't see his expression of opinion as all that much unlike some "real" cowboy's or "real" seafarers I have known who think anyone wearing western wear or nautical attire who wasn't an "actual" cowboy or seafarer (whatever constitutes that) are just "playing cowboy" or "sailor" and should not be wearing "their" attire. The deep psychological (and perhaps even psychiatric) issues that might or could be involved on both sides of this divide are much too complex to go into here and in any case would be peculiar to each individual. My clinical as well as personal advice to both, however, would be to "lighten up;" life is too short to spend it arguing with each other over matters of taste. Express your self for sure (as indeed any kilt wearer does if by no other way than by simply wearing a kilt) but for your own sake and the sake of others, don't "should on" anyone, including yourself. As the Buddhists say: Anger is like a hot stone you hold in your hand intending to throw it at someone; you're the only one who gets burnt!